Because I'm curious, and because I really want to see how much of a range exists in the answers. I don't need long rambles, though I'll read them; first-thing-you-think-of answers are great, too
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A friendship where you can see that person every day and still look forward/enjoy seeing them the next day.
And a friendship where you can be apart for years, but when you meet up, it's like you never left.
And a friendship in which you can tell the other person anything, and even if they think you're a weirdo for it, it doesn't change anything because they still like you and respect you.
2) What markers do you take to indicate that you're in a close/deep friendship?
Apparently I use symptoms to define things. My bad. Uh, other markers? In general, for me, you share a lot of experiences with them. You're interested in the things they do, even if you can't identify with them.
3) What would you do in order to form a close/deep friendship?
I think it's probably 3/4 chemistry and 1/4 making sure you stay in contact and, if some sort of fight or rift happens, trying to fix it. I mean, I do think you can become close friends with someone you don't instantly hit it off with, but I guess that's different to mean than a "deep" friendship. I guess in that case, "close" means more -- you know a lot about that person, you've spent a lot of time with them, type of thing, but it you could easily drift apart and not really know each other if you spent a few years apart.
This may explain why I consider myself to have... uh. Four or five or maybe six close friendships of people I've met in real life? All but one of whom are not in the same city I'm in.
And then there's "good friends" where it's awesome to just hang out and have fun but you don't actively miss them until you haven't seen them for a few months. >_>
1) Whenever I think of deep friendship, I think of the quote something along the lines of, we sat together in silence, and it was the best conversation I ever had. The truest friendships I've had are the ones were I haven't had to fill the voids with words. Where I could be myself, and be loved when I probably least deserved it, but needed it most. I don't think it should be unconditional, though. I don't know how many people agree with me but I don't believe love/friendship should be unconditional.
2) I think I answered question number 2 in question 1 XD The ability to sit with someone in complete silence without that awkwardness. Feeling like I don't have to pretend to be someone other than myself, and know that that's okay with the other person. It's safety without being a safety net or a crutch. Acceptance/understanding without enabling, if that...makes sense.
3) I think some level of vulnerability from both sides has to be given, which can be hard. Sharing similar likes and dislikes only takes a friendship so far. To really get to know someone you have to see the good and the bad. I don't think you can have any sort of close bond with anybody without trust and to build trust there should be honesty and compromising, meeting each other halfway. I think of how everything worthwhile took, in some way, a while or an effort to achieve. If there are fights or misunderstandings, the willingness to work through them. People are flawed and my experience, personally, is that I can get frustrated with others easily.
Communication is important, but I don't think you need to see each other every day like a lot of people believed in high school. There's this girl I may go a good while without speaking to, but when we catch up again, it's always this comforting, wonderful thing to speak to her, like time hasn't passed.
I left out compatibility. I think a lot of it has to do with two people's personalities meshing well together. The whole 'hitting it off right away' comes to mind. Some personalities clash and others attract.
A friendship where you can see that person every day and still look forward/enjoy seeing them the next day.
And a friendship where you can be apart for years, but when you meet up, it's like you never left.
And a friendship in which you can tell the other person anything, and even if they think you're a weirdo for it, it doesn't change anything because they still like you and respect you.
2) What markers do you take to indicate that you're in a close/deep friendship?
Apparently I use symptoms to define things. My bad. Uh, other markers? In general, for me, you share a lot of experiences with them. You're interested in the things they do, even if you can't identify with them.
3) What would you do in order to form a close/deep friendship?
I think it's probably 3/4 chemistry and 1/4 making sure you stay in contact and, if some sort of fight or rift happens, trying to fix it. I mean, I do think you can become close friends with someone you don't instantly hit it off with, but I guess that's different to mean than a "deep" friendship. I guess in that case, "close" means more -- you know a lot about that person, you've spent a lot of time with them, type of thing, but it you could easily drift apart and not really know each other if you spent a few years apart.
This may explain why I consider myself to have... uh. Four or five or maybe six close friendships of people I've met in real life? All but one of whom are not in the same city I'm in.
And then there's "good friends" where it's awesome to just hang out and have fun but you don't actively miss them until you haven't seen them for a few months. >_>
ETA: That's a really cool quote.
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2) I think I answered question number 2 in question 1 XD The ability to sit with someone in complete silence without that awkwardness. Feeling like I don't have to pretend to be someone other than myself, and know that that's okay with the other person. It's safety without being a safety net or a crutch. Acceptance/understanding without enabling, if that...makes sense.
3) I think some level of vulnerability from both sides has to be given, which can be hard. Sharing similar likes and dislikes only takes a friendship so far. To really get to know someone you have to see the good and the bad. I don't think you can have any sort of close bond with anybody without trust and to build trust there should be honesty and compromising, meeting each other halfway. I think of how everything worthwhile took, in some way, a while or an effort to achieve. If there are fights or misunderstandings, the willingness to work through them. People are flawed and my experience, personally, is that I can get frustrated with others easily.
Communication is important, but I don't think you need to see each other every day like a lot of people believed in high school. There's this girl I may go a good while without speaking to, but when we catch up again, it's always this comforting, wonderful thing to speak to her, like time hasn't passed.
PS: Sorry for typos. I answered on my phone. :x
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