(no subject)
I was sifting through my journal. It had been two years since I had written anything in it. I was amazed to find that a huge chunk of it was devoted to the little boys who broke my heart. Maybe because it's late or because I will probably never talk to any of them again I need to clear everything up. I doubt any of them will read this entry so I'll use names. If this is old news, skip it. I'll start with the first I mention in my journal
- Anthony- You made my high school life hell without even trying or knowing it. From the day I met you till the day I left for Pittsburgh, you always had some sort of control over me. Despite the obvious signs that you wanted nothing to do with me romantically, I just couldn't accept it. I'd love to be your friend, and towards the end that's all I really wanted. But even that became too much for you. I guess that's partially my fault. You didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face to get out of your life. Just when I would think I should stop trying, I'd get a smile or an e-mail. But how can I blame you for trying to spare my feelings? I can't. It's sad that you let this ruin what little friendship we had left.
- Tony- Too easy.
- Jered- Now that I am more mature, it's so clear what you wanted me for. It wasn't love or a relationship or even friendship. It was sex, plain and simple. I fucked you and skipped town. What a perfect arrangement. I really thought I loved you, but I guess it's easy to think you're in love with someone who took your virginity. I understand that you had issues with people and at the time it felt like you were trying to let me in when you told me about your issues. Maybe we just met at the wrong time and if we had met years later things could have worked. But I doubt it.
- Josh- Thank you for introducing me to amazing sex and giving me lots of orgasms. What we had was brilliant. I really felt no romantic feelings towards you. I honestly felt like I was going to bed with a great friend. I am glad you're still in my life
- Zach- No two people could have been more wrong for each other. I am sorry I didn't see that sooner. You were an amazing boyfriend and I am sorry I tortured you for so long just because I was afraid to be alone. I am glad you're happy now.
- Chris-I have little to say about you. Thanks for the friendship and making me feel like I was great at giving head.
- Steven- I am so glad I found you. You're the love of my life.
And that concludes my rant.