TCM 1.3 - The Gargoyles and the Amber - Chapter Three: Stasis
Series: The Gargoyles and the Amber, Book One of The Casket Memoirs
Title: Stasis
Narrator: Alaric Saltzman
Author: dracox-serdriel
Word count: 2,503
Rating: R
Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, emotional turmoil, magic and spell craft
Chapter notes: The chapter subtitles are all based on the e. e. cummings' poem "up into the silence the green."
Chapter Three: Stasis
Alaric Saltzman
(kiss me)you will go • down into your memory • on into the sunlight • up into the silence
down into your memory and
a memory and memory
-- e.e. cummings "up into the silence the green"
(kiss me)you will go
There is nothing to say. That is what it is: nothing. Anyone trying to fill that void with words is just rolling that stone up the mountain, and everyone knows that the farther you go the more it'll crush you on its way back down.
Everyone thinks I've given up, and there were a few dark hours that I wanted to go into the ground with Jo and our twins. But that's the kind of thing a homicidal maniac of a brother-in-law can inspire when he stabs his sister in the back so you can see him do it. Losing Elena in the same day was like having my insides sucked out with a straw.
There is nothing to say. I'm not giving up, I'm leaving the stone. Let it fall where it may. Climbing is hard enough, and I can't bear the weight of anyone but myself. Not now.
Damon keeps bringing bourbon, and not the cheap stuff, either. The only downside is that I have to listen to Damon talk and talk and talk. And then he tries to get me to speak. After a while, he gets bored and starts pretending to be me. He winds up having whole conversations between him and me, with him saying everything.
He's an ass, but at least he's got good taste in liquor.
What does he expect me to say? That my life is miserable and empty and without purpose? That it hurts? That I'm pissed off?
Fine. My life is empty, miserable, and has no purpose, and I'm hurt and pissed off. I had a better life when I was dead and on the Other Side.
The truth is, I want to say I keep seeing her in that dress and that I replay her expression over and over again as blood seeped into the whiteness. But I don't. Recently, I've only been able to see what's right in front of my face. It's like my inner eye, my imagination, was unplugged, and it won't work. I try to picture Jo. God knows I've got a hundred good memories of her and a thousand images of her face somewhere in my head, but every time I try to remember her, to realize her, there's nothing except for the here and now.
And Jo? She's not here, certainly not now.
down into your memory
Or at least, Jo wasn't here.
Then some people mentioned things like the 'Amber Wedding' and the 'Amber Barn.'
I'll admit I reacted poorly. I put Matt Donovan on the receiving-end of a few good punches, and Damon took his chance to tackle me under a socially acceptable pretense.
I calmed down, and Matt drove me there. He kept both radios off, and neither of us spoke for the entire ride. For a few moments, we were just two guys in a car, bleeding and passing the time till we arrived at our destination. The silence seemed right.
I walked into that damn barn, and there she was. I don't remember if I walked or ran or teleported to her side, but suddenly we were together again. She was so perfect.
People say "I couldn't believe it," when they really mean they're happily surprised. Not only could I believe it, I wanted to believe it. From the moment I saw her, I desperately hoped that my eyes weren't deceiving me.
Her skin was warm, and her eyes were open and focused. As I took her wrist in my hand, I mutely begged whatever benevolent beings that might exist for this one thing to be true. All I wanted was to feel a heartbeat.
The seconds passed by. I felt no heartbeat and saw no breathing. Her eyes were open but unblinking, unmoving. Jo was no more alive in that moment than she was when I carried her to my car, bloody and still.
I stood in my stained t-shirt and dusty jeans for eons, holding her hands, staring into her eyes. I didn't think about it, I simply reacted to the circumstances by holding my breath. That's when I really felt it: we were still and lifeless, in complete stasis, neither alive nor dead.
Then my autonomic nervous system kicked in, and involuntarily respiration began. All over again, I realized that I was alive, and Jo was not. She is dead, just like she's been dead, and this was all some horrific hoax. Those seconds in stasis, I had forgotten that there are no benevolent beings in Mystic Falls.
As I collapsed to my knees, I vowed never again to forget that.
For days I've stared at the photos I have of Jo, desperate to remember her, and now I can't see anything but her face.
on into the sunlight
My knuckles are bloody. I hit more than one person. Volatile is a good descriptor; in fact, today, Damon Salvatore had better sense than me.
According to Coven Leader Channing Spurlock, Josette is still alive and so are our twins. They're alive and frozen in time, and all they need is that last little push to bring them from the moment before their deaths into this moment, the here and now.
I can't believe it. There are no benevolent beings in Mystic Falls.
Everything I know about magic tells me this can't be true. Manipulating time must come with an enormous cost, and anyone willing to take the risks that come with raising the dead must be insane and reckless.
But you know what? Screw the cost and the consequences. After everything I have seen, after dying and coming back as a super-vampire, after becoming human again, why can't Jo survive this? This Libra coven is desperate to save the members of Gemini...
That's when I understood what was really happening here.
"So you want to save Jo?" I asked Channing.
"We want to save all of Gemini," she replied. "Like most members of Libra, this is a family matter to me. Joshua is my brother, Mr. Saltzman, which makes Jo and Liv my nieces."
"But since Kai merged with Luke, he became the new Coven Leader, which means your brother Josh can't be the leader again," I said.
"No, he can't, but - "
"You seem to be missing some important facts," I said. "First, Kai took all of Jo's power, so she's not in Gemini anymore. Second, the two of us were going to disappear to make sure our kids didn't wind up in some tug-o-war with Gemini trying to pull them in so they can merge together at age twenty-two."
"Mr. Saltzman, we - "
"Stop it," I said loudly. "Stop lying. You're only saving Jo because you want her to merge with Liv. One of them dies and the other absorbs a few new traits. That is how it works, right? And who lives is based on who has the most power, and since Kai took all of Jo's power - "
Channing finally raised her voice when she said, "We don't want a new Gemini leader!"
"Don't you dare lie to me!"
"I am not lying to you, Mr. Saltzman," Channing said. "The Gemini coven became very powerful because of the Merge ritual, but they were also uniquely vulnerable. One volatile leader, one powerful enemy with good aim, and the entire coven falls. You were here. You saw it. We do not want a new Gemini leader. We want them to join Libra, and if they had a new leader, they'd never do that."
"Then tell me why you want to save Jo," I said. "She's not a member of the coven."
"I told you, she's my niece," Channing replied. "I'm immensely proud of her accomplishments, and if I can save her, I will. Let us be clear here, Mr. Saltzman, the only thing under question right now is whether or not you will help us save her."
"Help? How the hell can I possibly help?" I asked.
"This spell works best when a connection to the living exist, someone in the here and now," Channing explained. "The anchor in question goes into stasis and his or her life force helps... update the internal clocks of the others."
"You want me to become a warm statue, like everybody else in this room?" I asked.
"We don't expect you to say yes without proof, which is why we're - "
"I'll do it," I interrupted.
What is the worst that could happen? They put me under some witchy spell and I die? I end up like Elena, taking a very long nap and wake up years later? What the hell am I risking if I don't do it?
"Had I known you'd be so willing to act as an anchor, I wouldn't have bothered with this," Channing said. "But I'm afraid everything is in motion."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"You won't be able to leave this barn," she said. "Obviously, you can, but she can't. We can only keep this up for about twenty-four hours, so use them wisely. I'll give you two some privacy."
"What?" I asked again.
Channing went out the same door as Bonnie, Damon, Matt, and Caroline, and I stood alone in a hideous mockery of what was supposed to be my happiest day of my life. I turned and looked out at the Gemini members frozen in their seats.
All I could think was, 'Am I going to be ambered into stasis right now, or do I have time to go home and change?' Then I remembered, 'There are no benevolent beings in Mystic Falls.'
"Ric?"
My heart must've stopped. I nearly fell over again.
"Ric? What happened to you? Where's you tuxedo? Are you bleeding?"
I turned, slowly, like if I moved too fast it would turn out this was all a dream, and then, there she was.
Jo was alive.
up into the silence
"Are you bleeding?" she asked me again.
"Jo?" I asked. "Is it really you?"
"Were you expecting someone else in a wedding dress today?" she asked with a smile on her face.
I couldn't help it. I went to her, took her head in my hands, and kissed her.
"Please tell me you're real," I said as I pressed my forehead into hers.
"What else would I be?" she asked. She pushed me away and asked, "Ric? What the hell is going on?"
"You don't remember?" I asked.
"Of course I remember," she replied.
"Tell me. Tell me what you remember," I said as I put my hands on her stomach.
As I spoke, I could feel the babies moving. I bit my tongue so I wouldn't cry. She stared at my face, concerned, but she replied, lowering her voice, as if afraid we would be overheard.
She said, "You just finished saying your vows, and I'm nervous about saying mine... then, it's like a blink of the eye, the reverend was gone, and you're back was to me. And you're in different cloths."
"You don't remember anything else?" I asked. "You don't know what's happened?"
"Ric," she said, impatient.
"Look," I said, turning her to face the rest of the barn. "Just, look."
Her face told me everything. I could see her drawing conclusions in her mind as she looked at the remainder of the wedding guests, all of them were Gemini and all of them were like statues.
"What is this, Ric?" she asked.
"I have no idea, but someone called it the Amber Barn, or the Amber Wedding," I replied. "The Gemini coven is in stasis."
"Stasis?" she repeated. "No, that's an old legend, a myth, it never actually happens. And besides, according to the legend, it only ever happens when the coven... if we had..."
"Died," I finished for her. "Kai showed up. He stabbed you, and then he killed himself, making himself one of those Heretic witch-vampire hybrid things."
"But if he's dead, then... my whole family would've died with him," she said.
"They did," Ric said. "And then Tyler bit Kai... and then I think Damon cut off his head. Pretty much everyone wanted him dead, and now he is."
"But if Gemini is in stasis, how are we talking?" she asked me. "Ric?"
I didn't want to talk about Spurlock and the Libra Coven. I didn't want to explain the details of the Amber Wedding needing an anchor. I just wanted to take Jo's hand and run. Change our identities, change our names, change everything, and everyone else be damned.
"Holy - no way!" Damon yelled as he came into the barn.
He vamp-speeded to Jo and poked her squarely in the forehead. Jo smacked him across the face.
"Nice to see you too, Damon," Jo said.
"Ouch, definitely real," Damon replied.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Making sure sketchy Spurlock woman wasn't lying her ass off, obviously," Damon replied. "Putting a weird hallucination spell on you would be pretty easy. Spreading it around would be a little harder."
"I'm not a hallucination," Jo said.
"Funny, exactly what a hallucination would say!"
"Stop it!" I said. "What is wrong with you? Why would a coven waste a spell to convince me of anything?"
"I don't know," Damon replied. "But I don't believe in Santa Claus, and that's what the Libra coven seems to be."
"Libra?" Jo asked. "They split off from Gemini a long time ago, before we imprisoned Kai."
"Channing said she's your aunt," I said.
"She is. She got married to a warlock who left the Aquarius coven, and together they formed the Libra coven. At least, that's what my father told me after I gave up my magic. She had left the family behind, too, but not her magic. He wanted me to think about keeping it or something."
"Just because she told you the truth once doesn't mean everything she said was the truth," Damon said to me.
"Maybe not, but if there's even a chance, then... me and Jo have to consider it," I said.
"Fine. But if this chick tries anything, I rip her throat out. Call me if you need me, I'm going to check on Elena," Damon said before he zoomed out of the barn.
"What happened to Elena?" Jo asked.
I couldn't even think what to say to that.
<<< Previous chapter:
Chapter Two: Hairline Fractures
(Matt Donovan)
Next chapter: >>>
Chapter Four: A Moment in Time
(Josette Laughlin)
coming soon...
The Gargoyles and the Amber
The Casket Memoirs
Title: Stasis
Narrator: Alaric Saltzman
Author: dracox-serdriel
Word count: 2,503
Rating: R
Warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, emotional turmoil, magic and spell craft
Chapter notes: The chapter subtitles are all based on the e. e. cummings' poem "up into the silence the green."
Chapter Three: Stasis
Alaric Saltzman
(kiss me)you will go • down into your memory • on into the sunlight • up into the silence
down into your memory and
a memory and memory
-- e.e. cummings "up into the silence the green"
(kiss me)you will go
There is nothing to say. That is what it is: nothing. Anyone trying to fill that void with words is just rolling that stone up the mountain, and everyone knows that the farther you go the more it'll crush you on its way back down.
Everyone thinks I've given up, and there were a few dark hours that I wanted to go into the ground with Jo and our twins. But that's the kind of thing a homicidal maniac of a brother-in-law can inspire when he stabs his sister in the back so you can see him do it. Losing Elena in the same day was like having my insides sucked out with a straw.
There is nothing to say. I'm not giving up, I'm leaving the stone. Let it fall where it may. Climbing is hard enough, and I can't bear the weight of anyone but myself. Not now.
Damon keeps bringing bourbon, and not the cheap stuff, either. The only downside is that I have to listen to Damon talk and talk and talk. And then he tries to get me to speak. After a while, he gets bored and starts pretending to be me. He winds up having whole conversations between him and me, with him saying everything.
He's an ass, but at least he's got good taste in liquor.
What does he expect me to say? That my life is miserable and empty and without purpose? That it hurts? That I'm pissed off?
Fine. My life is empty, miserable, and has no purpose, and I'm hurt and pissed off. I had a better life when I was dead and on the Other Side.
The truth is, I want to say I keep seeing her in that dress and that I replay her expression over and over again as blood seeped into the whiteness. But I don't. Recently, I've only been able to see what's right in front of my face. It's like my inner eye, my imagination, was unplugged, and it won't work. I try to picture Jo. God knows I've got a hundred good memories of her and a thousand images of her face somewhere in my head, but every time I try to remember her, to realize her, there's nothing except for the here and now.
And Jo? She's not here, certainly not now.
down into your memory
Or at least, Jo wasn't here.
Then some people mentioned things like the 'Amber Wedding' and the 'Amber Barn.'
I'll admit I reacted poorly. I put Matt Donovan on the receiving-end of a few good punches, and Damon took his chance to tackle me under a socially acceptable pretense.
I calmed down, and Matt drove me there. He kept both radios off, and neither of us spoke for the entire ride. For a few moments, we were just two guys in a car, bleeding and passing the time till we arrived at our destination. The silence seemed right.
I walked into that damn barn, and there she was. I don't remember if I walked or ran or teleported to her side, but suddenly we were together again. She was so perfect.
People say "I couldn't believe it," when they really mean they're happily surprised. Not only could I believe it, I wanted to believe it. From the moment I saw her, I desperately hoped that my eyes weren't deceiving me.
Her skin was warm, and her eyes were open and focused. As I took her wrist in my hand, I mutely begged whatever benevolent beings that might exist for this one thing to be true. All I wanted was to feel a heartbeat.
The seconds passed by. I felt no heartbeat and saw no breathing. Her eyes were open but unblinking, unmoving. Jo was no more alive in that moment than she was when I carried her to my car, bloody and still.
I stood in my stained t-shirt and dusty jeans for eons, holding her hands, staring into her eyes. I didn't think about it, I simply reacted to the circumstances by holding my breath. That's when I really felt it: we were still and lifeless, in complete stasis, neither alive nor dead.
Then my autonomic nervous system kicked in, and involuntarily respiration began. All over again, I realized that I was alive, and Jo was not. She is dead, just like she's been dead, and this was all some horrific hoax. Those seconds in stasis, I had forgotten that there are no benevolent beings in Mystic Falls.
As I collapsed to my knees, I vowed never again to forget that.
For days I've stared at the photos I have of Jo, desperate to remember her, and now I can't see anything but her face.
on into the sunlight
My knuckles are bloody. I hit more than one person. Volatile is a good descriptor; in fact, today, Damon Salvatore had better sense than me.
According to Coven Leader Channing Spurlock, Josette is still alive and so are our twins. They're alive and frozen in time, and all they need is that last little push to bring them from the moment before their deaths into this moment, the here and now.
I can't believe it. There are no benevolent beings in Mystic Falls.
Everything I know about magic tells me this can't be true. Manipulating time must come with an enormous cost, and anyone willing to take the risks that come with raising the dead must be insane and reckless.
But you know what? Screw the cost and the consequences. After everything I have seen, after dying and coming back as a super-vampire, after becoming human again, why can't Jo survive this? This Libra coven is desperate to save the members of Gemini...
That's when I understood what was really happening here.
"So you want to save Jo?" I asked Channing.
"We want to save all of Gemini," she replied. "Like most members of Libra, this is a family matter to me. Joshua is my brother, Mr. Saltzman, which makes Jo and Liv my nieces."
"But since Kai merged with Luke, he became the new Coven Leader, which means your brother Josh can't be the leader again," I said.
"No, he can't, but - "
"You seem to be missing some important facts," I said. "First, Kai took all of Jo's power, so she's not in Gemini anymore. Second, the two of us were going to disappear to make sure our kids didn't wind up in some tug-o-war with Gemini trying to pull them in so they can merge together at age twenty-two."
"Mr. Saltzman, we - "
"Stop it," I said loudly. "Stop lying. You're only saving Jo because you want her to merge with Liv. One of them dies and the other absorbs a few new traits. That is how it works, right? And who lives is based on who has the most power, and since Kai took all of Jo's power - "
Channing finally raised her voice when she said, "We don't want a new Gemini leader!"
"Don't you dare lie to me!"
"I am not lying to you, Mr. Saltzman," Channing said. "The Gemini coven became very powerful because of the Merge ritual, but they were also uniquely vulnerable. One volatile leader, one powerful enemy with good aim, and the entire coven falls. You were here. You saw it. We do not want a new Gemini leader. We want them to join Libra, and if they had a new leader, they'd never do that."
"Then tell me why you want to save Jo," I said. "She's not a member of the coven."
"I told you, she's my niece," Channing replied. "I'm immensely proud of her accomplishments, and if I can save her, I will. Let us be clear here, Mr. Saltzman, the only thing under question right now is whether or not you will help us save her."
"Help? How the hell can I possibly help?" I asked.
"This spell works best when a connection to the living exist, someone in the here and now," Channing explained. "The anchor in question goes into stasis and his or her life force helps... update the internal clocks of the others."
"You want me to become a warm statue, like everybody else in this room?" I asked.
"We don't expect you to say yes without proof, which is why we're - "
"I'll do it," I interrupted.
What is the worst that could happen? They put me under some witchy spell and I die? I end up like Elena, taking a very long nap and wake up years later? What the hell am I risking if I don't do it?
"Had I known you'd be so willing to act as an anchor, I wouldn't have bothered with this," Channing said. "But I'm afraid everything is in motion."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"You won't be able to leave this barn," she said. "Obviously, you can, but she can't. We can only keep this up for about twenty-four hours, so use them wisely. I'll give you two some privacy."
"What?" I asked again.
Channing went out the same door as Bonnie, Damon, Matt, and Caroline, and I stood alone in a hideous mockery of what was supposed to be my happiest day of my life. I turned and looked out at the Gemini members frozen in their seats.
All I could think was, 'Am I going to be ambered into stasis right now, or do I have time to go home and change?' Then I remembered, 'There are no benevolent beings in Mystic Falls.'
"Ric?"
My heart must've stopped. I nearly fell over again.
"Ric? What happened to you? Where's you tuxedo? Are you bleeding?"
I turned, slowly, like if I moved too fast it would turn out this was all a dream, and then, there she was.
Jo was alive.
up into the silence
"Are you bleeding?" she asked me again.
"Jo?" I asked. "Is it really you?"
"Were you expecting someone else in a wedding dress today?" she asked with a smile on her face.
I couldn't help it. I went to her, took her head in my hands, and kissed her.
"Please tell me you're real," I said as I pressed my forehead into hers.
"What else would I be?" she asked. She pushed me away and asked, "Ric? What the hell is going on?"
"You don't remember?" I asked.
"Of course I remember," she replied.
"Tell me. Tell me what you remember," I said as I put my hands on her stomach.
As I spoke, I could feel the babies moving. I bit my tongue so I wouldn't cry. She stared at my face, concerned, but she replied, lowering her voice, as if afraid we would be overheard.
She said, "You just finished saying your vows, and I'm nervous about saying mine... then, it's like a blink of the eye, the reverend was gone, and you're back was to me. And you're in different cloths."
"You don't remember anything else?" I asked. "You don't know what's happened?"
"Ric," she said, impatient.
"Look," I said, turning her to face the rest of the barn. "Just, look."
Her face told me everything. I could see her drawing conclusions in her mind as she looked at the remainder of the wedding guests, all of them were Gemini and all of them were like statues.
"What is this, Ric?" she asked.
"I have no idea, but someone called it the Amber Barn, or the Amber Wedding," I replied. "The Gemini coven is in stasis."
"Stasis?" she repeated. "No, that's an old legend, a myth, it never actually happens. And besides, according to the legend, it only ever happens when the coven... if we had..."
"Died," I finished for her. "Kai showed up. He stabbed you, and then he killed himself, making himself one of those Heretic witch-vampire hybrid things."
"But if he's dead, then... my whole family would've died with him," she said.
"They did," Ric said. "And then Tyler bit Kai... and then I think Damon cut off his head. Pretty much everyone wanted him dead, and now he is."
"But if Gemini is in stasis, how are we talking?" she asked me. "Ric?"
I didn't want to talk about Spurlock and the Libra Coven. I didn't want to explain the details of the Amber Wedding needing an anchor. I just wanted to take Jo's hand and run. Change our identities, change our names, change everything, and everyone else be damned.
"Holy - no way!" Damon yelled as he came into the barn.
He vamp-speeded to Jo and poked her squarely in the forehead. Jo smacked him across the face.
"Nice to see you too, Damon," Jo said.
"Ouch, definitely real," Damon replied.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Making sure sketchy Spurlock woman wasn't lying her ass off, obviously," Damon replied. "Putting a weird hallucination spell on you would be pretty easy. Spreading it around would be a little harder."
"I'm not a hallucination," Jo said.
"Funny, exactly what a hallucination would say!"
"Stop it!" I said. "What is wrong with you? Why would a coven waste a spell to convince me of anything?"
"I don't know," Damon replied. "But I don't believe in Santa Claus, and that's what the Libra coven seems to be."
"Libra?" Jo asked. "They split off from Gemini a long time ago, before we imprisoned Kai."
"Channing said she's your aunt," I said.
"She is. She got married to a warlock who left the Aquarius coven, and together they formed the Libra coven. At least, that's what my father told me after I gave up my magic. She had left the family behind, too, but not her magic. He wanted me to think about keeping it or something."
"Just because she told you the truth once doesn't mean everything she said was the truth," Damon said to me.
"Maybe not, but if there's even a chance, then... me and Jo have to consider it," I said.
"Fine. But if this chick tries anything, I rip her throat out. Call me if you need me, I'm going to check on Elena," Damon said before he zoomed out of the barn.
"What happened to Elena?" Jo asked.
I couldn't even think what to say to that.
<<< Previous chapter:
Chapter Two: Hairline Fractures
(Matt Donovan)
Next chapter: >>>
Chapter Four: A Moment in Time
(Josette Laughlin)
coming soon...
The Gargoyles and the Amber
The Casket Memoirs