FIC: Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets) (NC-17)

[dracotops_mods]

Happy Birthday, winnett!

Title: Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets)
Author: dicta_contrion
Prompt: # 29
Summary: Hogwarts’ future depends on Malfoy’s texts. Too bad the key is up Potter’s arse.
Rating: NC-17
Warning(s): (highlight for details): *mild dubcon - Harry is pressured to have sex to help Hogwarts/Hermione.*
Word Count: 17,437
Author's Notes:

Comments

[zeitgeistic]

Oh my god. Author. This was amazing. I am astounded that you took this alleged "prompt", which was really only a badly disguised attempt to get parselsmut and bossy-bottom!Harry in the same story, and somehow made it into this amazing, hilarious, adorable, SEXY fic. Brava! There is so much I loved about it. I would quote all of the lines I like, but you wrote the story so you know what it looks like. Instead I'll just quote 5 or so. We'll see how it goes:

Harry shook his head miserably. “There isn’t. I can’t, you know….”
“Reach?”
“Focus,” he hissed. “Magic takes focus.”

*cackles* Harry was so indignant, and Hermione trying to ~get it~ and remain ~academic~ was so perfect.

“Or you could just have me fuck you.”
Two heads snapped towards Malfoy.
“Please. You must realise I’m not actually a first year Hufflepuff, and your quasi-euphemisms are hardly sophisticated. Potter here needs it up the arse to translate, fine.”

Hahaha. I adore that they thought they were being subtle and the whole time, Draco knew what was going on.

“I’m going to have to talk to it.”
“Talk to it? You mean your…?” Malfoy gestured vaguely at Harry’s middle and looked extremely skeptical.
“What? No! The box. The snake on the box.”

LOL. You managed several well-done penis/snake jokes. I salute you!

OH my god. Blackbeard’s Bottom Boysenberry Boy Butter Are you serious? Omg LOL.

“That you’re either a terrible fuck or a lazy one, and that if you’d like me to do you this rather large favour, you might try putting in a bit more effort.”
“Might I remind you that it was your brilliant plan to use a finger?”
“Yeah, to fuck an arse, not call the bloody lifts.”

I AM DYING. If I survive this fic, I am friending you so hard. If we aren't already friended, that is.

"Really Draco, must you fulfill only the worst parts of the Slytherin reputation?"

In general, just everything about your Snape. He is killin' it.

"I've only died twice." LOL HARRY. Just like me, reading this fic.

You even put in the part where Harry was a queen about good sex. And Ron! LOL. And Narcissa's "deep dedication" comment and her observation on Lucius being adept at taking orders.

Thank you so much for picking my prompt and for making it so amazing. I am so pleased!

[dicta_contrion]

I can’t even tell you how much flail this comment induced! There was grinning and happy dancing and all-around glee.

This prompt was so much fun to write, start to finish. It was the perfect amount of structure and room to run free and I had an absolute blast with all the things you mentioned. Snape was very opinionated about everything, Draco was pleased with himself for seeing through the Gryffindors (in addition to being unimpressed with their euphemisms), Narcissa is secretly on top of everything, and all of the details were absolutely delightful to come up with. And how often does anyone actually get to tell a penis/snake joke? Let the snarky comments run wild? Not frequently enough, and this fic was the perfect excuse to play in those fields.

Thank you for the fantastic prompt and the amazing comment. I’m so thrilled that you were pleased!!

[zeitgeistic]

I laughed again reading the quotes from my original comment. *glomps*