FIC: Like A Virgin (Touched For The Very First Time) (NC-17
Title: Like A Virgin (Touched For The Very First Time)
Author: rebeccaann08
Prompt: # 11
Summary: When Draco finds out Harry is still a virgin, he can’t help but try and rectify the problem. Harry just wants him to go away.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Harry/OMC (temporary)
Warnings: Very brief mention of emotional abuse (hello, Dursleys)
Word Count: 4,800
Author's Notes: Many thanks go to klynnk for the awesome beta job! I hope I did my prompter justice. I think it kind of veered off a little bit, but I hope you like it anyway!
Like A Virgin (Touched For The Very First Time)
“I’m a virgin.”
Harry clapped a hand over his mouth. He hadn’t meant to admit that. It was just one of those things that had happened. He’d been busy saving the world, and then he’d still been busy dealing with it all after, and by the time he hadn’t been so busy… well, it was just embarrassing.
Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was twenty-seven years old and still a virgin.
And now Draco Malfoy knew.
Fuck.
“You’re having me on,” Malfoy said.
“Yeah,” he said. “I was.”
Except he wasn’t, and he was fairly certain the girl sitting in the booth next to them had heard and knew who he was, and he’d just made a mess of everything.
Malfoy eyed him and took another swallow of his butterbeer. “You really are a virgin, aren’t you?”
“What? No,” Harry said. He waved his arm in a vague dismissive gesture.
“Potter, you’re shite at lying and you’re blushing like a first-year.”
Harry looked down and began picking at a loose thread in the tablecloth. “I am not.”
“How did that even happen? Don’t you have girls lining up around the block for you or something?”
“Look, it’s not a big deal, and will you please keep your voice down,” Harry said. “It’s just how things worked out, is all.”
Why was he sitting here with Malfoy anyway? They might not hate each other like they used to, but they didn’t necessarily like each other. It was more of a mutual acceptance and an agreement not to hex the other when their back was turned.
Except they worked together, what with Harry being a Mediwizard at St. Mungo’s and Malfoy being the primary supplier of all their medicinal potions. And then stupid Malfoy had asked him if he’d like to go catch a bite to eat, and the sunlight had been hitting his hair at an angle that made him look like he was bloody glowing, and he’d stupidly agreed.
He would never drink anything with alcohol ever again, not even butterbeer. There was no other explanation for him answering Malfoy’s question of Seeing anyone, Pottter? with I’m a virgin.
Maybe he’d just quit his job and never leave his house again.
“Please explain to me how things worked out so that you would still be a virgin. I mean, look at you,” Malfoy said, gesturing towards Harry’s face with his butterbeer. “How does that happen?”
“Look at me? What’s that supposed to me? I’m not hideous or anything, Malfoy,” he said.
Malfoy stared at him. “That’s not what I meant.”
Harry leaned forward. “Then please tell me exactly what you meant, Malfoy.”
“It’s just… you’re quite attractive is all.” He took another sip of butterbeer, ignoring Harry’s gaze.
“I’m what?”
“Don’t you dare make me say it again. All the girls fawn over you and gaggle on about your mussed up hair and your brilliantly green eyes.” Malfoy shrugged.
“Oh,” Harry said. He fiddled with the handle of his mug. “Really?”
Malfoy just looked at him. “Do you really think I would lie to make you feel better?”
Harry considered. “No. You’d lie to make me feel worse.”
“Exactly.”
Harry snickered, feeling more at ease. “So what else do they say about me?”
“Nothing especially interesting,” Malfoy said, and if Harry didn’t know better, he’d swear the other man was blushing.
Their food arrived then, steaming potatoes and roasted chicken with a side salad. While Harry pushed his salad away in favor of the meat and potatoes, Malfoy picked delicately at the green leaves.
“Didn’t your…” Malfoy started, then trailed off. “Never mind.”
Harry stared at him. “What?”
Malfoy shook his head and frowned. “Speaking before I think is all.”
“Like that ever stopped you before,” Harry said.
“Oh please, you’re the one who’s always rushing into things and not thinking of the consequences. I’m very level headed, I’ll have you know,” Malfoy said.
“Right, of course you are. Seriously, though, what were you going to say?” He pushed a bit of the potato into his mouth.
“It’s just a saying is all. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
And then it clicked. “Didn’t your mother teach you to eat your vegetables?”
Malfoy nodded.
Harry shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. I mean, it happened twenty-six years ago. I’m kind of used to it.”
“Still, you should, you know?”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Eat my vegetables?”
“I’m sure your aunt taught you that at least. Tsk, Potter. You should take care of yourself.”
“Nah, my aunt wouldn’t care.” He bit his tongue. He needed to stop talking to Malfoy. It wasn’t good for his health.
Malfoy eyed him thoughtfully but didn’t say anything, for which Harry was grateful. Until, that is, Malfoy did say something.
“We’ll have to fix that.”
“Fix what? The vegetables?”
Malfoy gave him a look that said, in no uncertain terms, Don’t be an idiot.
“No, the issue of your lack of experience,” Malfoy said.
Harry stared at him. “Now you’re having me on,” he said. “Because there is no way I’m going to let you help me.”
“Actually, I’ve quite a decent track record. I could recommend some highly talented -”
“Will you shut up?” Harry hissed. He glanced around, thankful that no one seemed to be paying attention much to him. “Leave it alone.”
“Why? Wait, you’re not asexual or something, are you?” Malfoy asked.
Harry stared at him, mouth agape. “What?” he said. “No.”
“Well, then I have to ask. Boys or girls?”
Harry could feel the blush starting, rising from his chest upwards until his ears felt far too hot. He let out a choked, strangled sound.
Malfoy snorted. “It’s a legitimate question,” he said.
And oh, how Harry wished it were that easy. He’d clung to Ginny after the war in an effort to pretend he preferred the soft roundness of a woman’s body to that of the hard lines of another man. He’d tried to wank thinking of her sinking down onto his cock, but he could only get off when he’d pictured Charlie or Bill behind him, holding his hips, pushing into him, and fucking him hard. He didn’t want feminine and gentle. He wanted something he couldn’t have. Because he was Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, Saviour of the Wizarding World, Scarhead, and he’d never live it down if he were a bloody poof.
“I’m going,” he said suddenly. He stood, throwing a small handful of sickles onto the table. “Have a good day, Malfoy.”
He ignored Malfoy’s protest as he stepped outside and Apparated away.
*****
He was a right and bloody fool.
He stood in his shower, thinking of just exactly what Malfoy had promised him. A shag. A fucking shag. And he’d turned it down.
His hand fisted his cock faster and harder.
Of course, Malfoy hadn’t been offering himself, but now Harry thought of Malfoy on his knees before him, that golden head of hair buried in his lap as Malfoy sucked his cock in to the root.
“Fuck!”
He braced himself against the wall as he came. He continued to stroke himself through the aftershocks, until it became too much. He wondered if Malfoy would swallow.
Bloody hell, he needed to stop these thoughts. Ignoring the fact that Malfoy was Malfoy and therefore there was no way Harry was letting him anywhere near his cock, he had no hint whatsoever that Malfoy liked blokes, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask.
He murmured a spell and the water shut off. Once he was out of the shower, toweled off and dressed in flannel pyjamas, He went to his bookshelf and pulled off a copy of The Three Musketeers. It was silly and old and Muggle, but it was fun and the kind of adventure he dreamed about as a child and still loved, even after his “adventure” with Voldemort, and it would help take his thoughts off of Malfoy.
Maybe he just wasn’t meant for sex. He could handle it.
*****
Harry thought he could have handled it just fine if Malfoy would leave him the bloody fuck alone.
Ever since his accidental revelation, Malfoy had decided to make all his potions deliveries personally, and he was never alone.
The first time, he’d shown up with a lovely witch on his arm. She was tall and slender, with thick dark hair that curled over her shoulders, the tips resting on the swell of her breasts. He couldn’t help but admit she was beautiful, even if she’d done nothing for him below the belt.
But the way Malfoy’s shirt clung to his broad shoulders, and the way his hair was slightly mussed, as if he’d just rolled out of bed. That had definitely stirred his arousal.
He glared when Malfoy smirked at him, raising an eyebrow and gesturing towards the woman on his arm. She smiled at him, red lips curled up slightly, and winked.
He’d only hissed a quick "Stop it" when he passed Malfoy on the way to his office. The woman had pouted, but he’d ignored them both for the rest of their stay which, thankfully, hadn’t been long.
The next time, Malfoy had brought another woman. This one was shorter, with bright red hair and violet eyes.
“She looks nothing like Ginny, and stop trying,” he’d said when Malfoy had propped himself against the door of his office and asked, “Well?”
Malfoy continued to show up time and time again with a woman or two clinging to him as he made his deliveries. Harry rolled his eyes and checked up on his patients in the wing farthest from where Malfoy was.
Sometimes he tried to imagine the women Malfoy brought to the hospital in his bed. He tried to imagine tasting them, sliding balls deep into them. His erection only flagged.
*****
What the bloody hell?
Harry stared at the bloke conversing with Malfoy. The man was a similar height and build to Malfoy, with sandy hair and a smattering of freckles.
His mouth went dry when Malfoy gave him his signature cocky grin and raised eyebrow. He knew he was blushing.
Because the nameless bloke, whoever he was, was bloody attractive, and the little bit of chest the man was revealing by having his top button open made his pulse quicken.
He didn’t notice Malfoy walking up to him until he’d thrown his arm around his shoulders. “So it is blokes, then.”
Harry looked at Malfoy, then back at the man, and it was all too much. To have a bloke in front of him he could shag, and to be so close to Malfoy - close enough he could smell him - it did things to him. He’d repressed his sexuality for far too long, and now it was making itself known in an almost painful way. He shifted, his cock thick and heavy between his legs.
“I can send him to your place tonight. He’s very… discreet,” Malfoy said.
Harry considered. He looked back at the man. He was attractive, and Harry was horny. So he nodded.
Malfoy smiled a tight, pinched smile that Harry barely took notice of. “Alright then.”
*****
Harry paced in his sitting room, wiping his sweaty palms on his trousers. He’d agreed to this, and Nathan - his escort - would arrive any moment.
And then he was there, whooshing through the fireplace and stepping gracefully into the room.
He smiled. “Harry, I presume,” he said, holding out a hand.
“Yeah,” he said, taking the hand. “And you’re Nathan.”
“Nice place,” Nathan said. He stepped closer. “But I’m here for the company.”
Nathan took a hold of his hips and pulled Harry towards him. Harry stumbled, then flushed as he was pulled chest to chest, the close proximity forcing him to look up to see Nathan’s face.
“I… er, that is…”
“Don’t worry. Draco’s kept me informed,” Nathan said.
“Oh, god,” Harry groaned, feeling mortified.
Nathan chuckled. “It’s perfectly understandable, Harry. It happens to the best of us. But I’ll teach you everything you need to know, yeah?”
Harry nodded, then gasped as Nathan’s lips touched his own. He’d never kissed another bloke before, and the rougher edges, the hint of stubble, the smell of cologne… it was better than he’d imagined.
He let his eyes drift closed as he slid his hands up into soft hair, touching the sensitive skin at the nape of Nathan’s neck. When Nathan’s tongue licked lightly at his mouth, he opened and welcomed it.
And Merlin, he’d been missing out. The slick slide of a tongue against his own felt amazing and sent spikes of heat straight to his groin. He pushed himself closer, rolling his hips. A knee nudged between his legs and he obediently spread them, allowing a thigh to press against his cock.
Nathan was almost exactly the same size as another man who’d entered his fantasies. He was tall and slender, and his hair was wispy and soft, just like in his fantasies. With his eyes closed, he could pretend.
“Draco,” he moaned.
Nathan stiffened and pulled back a bit to look at him.
Harry froze, because he hadn’t meant to do that. He hadn’t meant to do that at all and oh god, if Nathan told Malfoy, he’d never live it down. The entire wizarding world would know, because Malfoy never had been one to keep secrets very well. Not when they involved Harry’s humiliation.
“I can pretend, if you want,” Nathan said.
Harry shook his head and pushed Nathan away. “No,” he said.
Nathan didn’t relent though. He pushed forward and seized Harry’s lips in a bruising kiss. Harry moaned, because he hadn’t been kissed since Ginny and it felt good, even if it was with someone he didn’t know, someone he didn’t even really like, and certainly not the person he wished was really kissing him.
“What does he call you?” Nathan asked.
Harry let himself go along with it. “Just Potter.”
“Well then, Potter,” Nathan said, sneering a bit in a pale imitation of Malfoy. “Do you want me bent over, or are you the one dying for a cock in your arse?”
Harry opened his mouth to say please or oh god, the latter, but the heat of the moment was gone because he didn’t think Malfoy would ever be like that. Malfoy would just… take what he wanted. He’d bend Harry over and Harry would moan, and it would be so good.
His fantasy had been shattered and now he was looking at Nathan, and Nathan looked nothing like Malfoy. His hair was too dark, his skin was too tanned. He had freckles and brown eyes, and it was all so wrong.
“I can’t,” he said.
Nathan frowned. “Am I not pretending well enough?”
“No, you’re great. And you’re a fantastic kisser, and I’m sure you’d be great in bed… But you’re not…” he trailed off.
“I’m not who you’d really like to be with?” Nathan asked, a small smile crossing his face.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“Harry, you’re not the first person who’s ever had this dilemma. Although, as someone who’s seen numerous people go through this very same experience, it’s often best solved by just telling the person you like that you like them,” Nathan said.
“Yeah, well, you obviously don’t know Malfoy then,” Harry said, frowning. “We’re not exactly friends.”
“Sometimes, that’s a good thing. Look, I’m an escort, which means I’ve seen it all. Friendship can transform into passion, but not always. Sometimes… sometimes passion, or love, or lust, or whatever you want to call what you feel right now… it’s not as straightforward,” Nathan said. He reached out and tucked a strand of Harry’s hair behind his ear, then stroked his cheek. It was a comforting gesture, and Harry appreciated it.
“I’ve only seen friendship become love. I can’t imagine it working any other way,” he said.
“Really? Because if rumours are correct, didn’t your mother originally hate your father?”
Harry froze. He stared at Nathan.
“Just… think about it, yeah? And owl me if you need it. I’m always up for a good shag, and like Malfoy said, I’m discreet.”
Harry nodded and watched as Nathan stepped back into the fireplace and Flooed away. He leaned against a wall, lost in thought.
Nathan was right. He’d seen Snape’s memories. His mum hadn’t liked his dad at all at first. And yet… they had still fallen in love.
He considered Nathan’s advice, but no matter how hard he thought, he couldn’t imagine it being that easy.
*****
Harry was in his office, filing some paperwork, when Malfoy popped in.
“How’d it go?” he asked.
Harry glanced up, annoyed. “Please stop trying to set me up.”
“But Potter, you’re you, and you’re a virgin. There’s so much wrong with that,” Malfoy said. “Besides, I’ve heard Nathan is… quite talented, if you know what I mean.”
Harry stood up. “Look, Malfoy, fine, whatever, I’m a virgin. But… I’m used to it, okay. It’s not a thing with me, it’s just how it is, and I don’t appreciate being treated like some charity case,” he said. He ignored Malfoy’s smile. “Besides, like you said, if wanted a shag, I could get one. Because I’m me.”
He walked around Malfoy, intending to leave his office and pray Malfoy was gone by they time he got back, but Malfoy stopped him by grabbing the sleeve of his Mediwizard robe.
“I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said.
Harry shook his arm free and crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, you did. Maybe you have no problem shagging every witch or wizard that crosses your path, but… I’m different, okay?”
Malfoy narrowed his eyes. “Is that your way of calling me a whore, Potter?”
“Take it however you want, but I’d say the description fits. After all, you seem to think everything can be solved by sex,” he hissed. He hadn’t realized just how angry he was until then, but he was tired of Malfoy shoving people at him when it was Malfoy he wanted. And he was tired of wanting Malfoy.
“Fine, whatever. I’m a whore. Sorry I tried to help you. Although honestly, I think a shag could do you good.” He ignored Harry’s sputtered protests. “I’ll be staying out of your way then, because that seems to be what you want.”
“That is what I want. I want you to just go away.”
Malfoy huffed and walked out, turning at the last minute to say, “And for your information, I don’t shag anyone and everyone. But at least I do shag.”
Harry stood there, waiting for him to come back. It would be such a Malfoy thing to do, to make him think he was finally gone only to come right back with a new plan and a new bloke, but he didn’t. He should be feeling relieved. He could go back to his normal life.
His normal, boring life, because his normal life didn’t have Malfoy in it.
He sighed. He had no idea what to do. He should have been happy Malfoy had gone, leaving him alone. Instead, he just felt lonelier.
*****
For the next two weeks, Malfoy sent a short, pimply boy over with his potion supply. The bloke said he was hoping to get an internship. Harry pitied him, because no one deserved to work under Malfoy.
He still wished Malfoy would come back. He hadn’t realized just how much he had been enjoying Malfoy’s company.
Nathan’s words still haunted him, but most of the time he could push them to the back of his mind. Malfoy was gone, it seemed. There was no point fretting over might-have-beens.
*****
Three weeks after their last encounter, Malfoy delivered his potions. When Harry looked at him quizzically, he muttered something about Eric being sick. Harry figured Eric was the pimply boy.
At least Malfoy had come alone. Harry could breathe a sigh of relief at that bit.
He tried to ignore Malfoy as he made his rounds, checking on various patients. There hadn’t been any emergencies in a few days which, while nice, left him with a lot of free time.
He planned to spend it in his office, filing papers or twiddling his thumbs. Either one would keep him out of Malfoy’s path.
Except Malfoy had just turned down the hall he was in, and they were going to pass by each other.
Malfoy gave him a tight smile, but seemed intent on ignoring him. Harry thought this a good plan.
Unfortunately, he’d always had a habit of doing things without fully thinking them through. Instead of nodding politely, he turned to Malfoy and said, “Will you go out to lunch with me?”
Malfoy stared at him. “Like… a date?”
Harry could feel the blush creeping up his neck. He hadn’t meant it as a date. He had meant it as an apology. But a date with Malfoy… he really would like that.
“Sure. I mean, if you want,” he said. His ears were burning now.
Malfoy smiled. “Sure. But only if you’re paying.”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t that make you the girl?”
“Oh, shut up Potter,” Malfoy said, rolling his eyes but still grinning.
Harry shrugged. “Fine, I’ll pay. Just don’t order the whole menu, yeah?”
Malfoy grinned at that. “Try and stop me, Potter.”
Harry bit his lip, then blurted, “Harry.”
There was a brief moment of silence before Malfoy inclined his head a bit. “Draco.”
“Well, then, I’ll see you at noon. Draco.”
As he walked back to his office, he felt happier than he had in a long time. He also found it damn near impossible to concentrate on the paperwork that was waiting for him.
*****
Harry was ridiculously nervous for his date with Malfoy - Draco. He had to call him Draco. Dating required first names.
He rolled the name around in his mind a few times, then said it aloud, just to try it.
“Dra…co…”
It felt strange. It didn’t roll of the tongue as easy as “Malfoy,” and he felt like he was referring to someone else, not the infuriating former Slytherin he’d rivalled with all through their Hogwarts years.
Maybe it was better, then. There was so much hate between them from before. Maybe a new name and a new start would be best.
He arrived first at the restaurant, and for one brief, horrible moment, he thought maybe this had been a trap. Get Potter on a date, stand him up and laugh. But then a flash of sun on platinum blond hair caught his attention, and he smiled as Draco approached the table.
“Hey,” he said, a bit shyly. He could feel a blush creeping up his neck, and he cleared his throat.
Draco looked amused. “Hey.” He sat down across from Harry, smiling politely when their server brought them glasses of water. “I take it the rest of your day was better?”
Harry took a sip of his water. “Well,” he said, “our potion maker stopped bringing me ridiculously attractive escorts, so it was much easier to stay focused.”
“Really? You know, I’ve always been told how attractive the potion maker himself is. I’m surprised you could stay so focused at all.” Draco’s lips curled up in a lazy smile that had Harry’s stomach clenching in a not terribly unpleasant way.
Harry laughed. “I guess he did make it a little hard,” he conceded.
When their server returned to take their orders, Harry made sure to order a salad and a fruit bowl. He tried not to laugh when Draco ordered a chicken breast and side of potatoes.
Draco eyed their food sardonically when it finally came. “Well, at least you’re eating better now. I see I’ve already been a good influence on you.”
“And I can see I’ve already helped you loosen up a bit,” Harry said. He leaned forward and curled a finger towards Draco, beckoning him closer. “Let me tell you a secret. Eat what you like, not just what’s healthy. No one likes a prude.”
Draco rolled his eyes. “You’re eating a salad,” he pointed out.
“Yes, but I also happen to like salads. On occasion, anyway.” He winked at Draco, who only smiled back at him again, which made Harry’s stomach flip over itself. Again.
He couldn’t fully appreciate the moment, though, because there was one thing he needed to tell Draco first.
He cleared his throat. “Listen, er... I feel I should warn you,” he said.
Draco raised an eyebrow. “About?”
Harry flushed, because this was embarrassing. “I just... I mean, you probably already know anyway, because you know I haven’t, you know, done... stuff.”
Draco leaned back and raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I have been informed of all the stuff you haven’t done.”
“I know, it’s just... I haven’t really dated much. Or, you know, at all.”
Draco stared at him. “Wait, really? Harry... why? I mean, I know I’ve said it before, but look at you. You’re bloody attractive, rich, you have a fantastic job, not to mention you’re, well, you. So I don’t get it.”
Harry looked down, twisting the napkin between his fingers. “I don’t know. It never happened, I guess. I mean, I was too busy trying to stay alive, and then after the war things didn’t go away because their were trials and interviews and people wanted to me to do all these things, and it just got easier to ignore things. I got a job. I’d go there and when my shift was over, I’d come home. Sometimes I went to Ron and Hermione’s, but that’s about it.”
He jumped when Draco reached over, placing one hand over his and stilling the shredding of the napkin. “I get it,” he said. “I’m surprised, but I get it.”
“Anyway, I wanted you to know in case I violate some dating rule or something,” he said.
Draco snickered. “Well, rule number one is you usually don’t talk about your dating history - or lack thereof - until an agreed upon time.”
“Oh,” Harry said. He looked at his salad, feeling lost. “I’m sorry.”
“If it makes you feel better, I’ve never been in a relationship.”
It was Harry’s turn to stare. “But... you said you’ve shagged.”
“It was sex, that’s all,” Draco said. “I mean, I guess I went on a date here or there, but... that was the exception, not the rule.”
“So, you’re saying...”
“That I’m new to this too? Yes, I am.”
Harry smiled at him, and turned his wrist so he could intertwine their fingers.
Draco gestured towards their interlocked fingers. “Now see? You’re a natural.”
They ordered a dessert and split it, grinning at each other over the chocolate cake. The war had been over for years now, but it was the first time Harry felt like he was finally living.
*****
It was the day Draco finally achieved his Potion’s Master rank, almost a month after their first official date, that they finally fell into bed together.
“I want to take you,” Draco has whispered against the skin of his neck, the breaths of air sending tremors down his spine and straight to his cock. “I want to suck you off and after, I want to fuck you until you can’t walk for a week.”
Harry moaned. “Yes, Draco. Yes, yes, please.”
Draco did just that. Or tried to. He laughed when he accidentally elbowed Draco in the side, and Draco apologized profusely after he’d tried to roll Harry over and ended up rolling them off the bed, even though they’d laughed until they cried, then finished on the floor with Harry on his back and his knees over Draco’s shoulders.
It wasn’t flawless like the stories always made it seem, but as he lay there, still on the floor and curled around Draco, he couldn’t help but think it had been perfect all the same.
.
Author: rebeccaann08
Prompt: # 11
Summary: When Draco finds out Harry is still a virgin, he can’t help but try and rectify the problem. Harry just wants him to go away.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Harry/Draco, Harry/OMC (temporary)
Warnings: Very brief mention of emotional abuse (hello, Dursleys)
Word Count: 4,800
Author's Notes: Many thanks go to klynnk for the awesome beta job! I hope I did my prompter justice. I think it kind of veered off a little bit, but I hope you like it anyway!
Like A Virgin (Touched For The Very First Time)
“I’m a virgin.”
Harry clapped a hand over his mouth. He hadn’t meant to admit that. It was just one of those things that had happened. He’d been busy saving the world, and then he’d still been busy dealing with it all after, and by the time he hadn’t been so busy… well, it was just embarrassing.
Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, was twenty-seven years old and still a virgin.
And now Draco Malfoy knew.
Fuck.
“You’re having me on,” Malfoy said.
“Yeah,” he said. “I was.”
Except he wasn’t, and he was fairly certain the girl sitting in the booth next to them had heard and knew who he was, and he’d just made a mess of everything.
Malfoy eyed him and took another swallow of his butterbeer. “You really are a virgin, aren’t you?”
“What? No,” Harry said. He waved his arm in a vague dismissive gesture.
“Potter, you’re shite at lying and you’re blushing like a first-year.”
Harry looked down and began picking at a loose thread in the tablecloth. “I am not.”
“How did that even happen? Don’t you have girls lining up around the block for you or something?”
“Look, it’s not a big deal, and will you please keep your voice down,” Harry said. “It’s just how things worked out, is all.”
Why was he sitting here with Malfoy anyway? They might not hate each other like they used to, but they didn’t necessarily like each other. It was more of a mutual acceptance and an agreement not to hex the other when their back was turned.
Except they worked together, what with Harry being a Mediwizard at St. Mungo’s and Malfoy being the primary supplier of all their medicinal potions. And then stupid Malfoy had asked him if he’d like to go catch a bite to eat, and the sunlight had been hitting his hair at an angle that made him look like he was bloody glowing, and he’d stupidly agreed.
He would never drink anything with alcohol ever again, not even butterbeer. There was no other explanation for him answering Malfoy’s question of Seeing anyone, Pottter? with I’m a virgin.
Maybe he’d just quit his job and never leave his house again.
“Please explain to me how things worked out so that you would still be a virgin. I mean, look at you,” Malfoy said, gesturing towards Harry’s face with his butterbeer. “How does that happen?”
“Look at me? What’s that supposed to me? I’m not hideous or anything, Malfoy,” he said.
Malfoy stared at him. “That’s not what I meant.”
Harry leaned forward. “Then please tell me exactly what you meant, Malfoy.”
“It’s just… you’re quite attractive is all.” He took another sip of butterbeer, ignoring Harry’s gaze.
“I’m what?”
“Don’t you dare make me say it again. All the girls fawn over you and gaggle on about your mussed up hair and your brilliantly green eyes.” Malfoy shrugged.
“Oh,” Harry said. He fiddled with the handle of his mug. “Really?”
Malfoy just looked at him. “Do you really think I would lie to make you feel better?”
Harry considered. “No. You’d lie to make me feel worse.”
“Exactly.”
Harry snickered, feeling more at ease. “So what else do they say about me?”
“Nothing especially interesting,” Malfoy said, and if Harry didn’t know better, he’d swear the other man was blushing.
Their food arrived then, steaming potatoes and roasted chicken with a side salad. While Harry pushed his salad away in favor of the meat and potatoes, Malfoy picked delicately at the green leaves.
“Didn’t your…” Malfoy started, then trailed off. “Never mind.”
Harry stared at him. “What?”
Malfoy shook his head and frowned. “Speaking before I think is all.”
“Like that ever stopped you before,” Harry said.
“Oh please, you’re the one who’s always rushing into things and not thinking of the consequences. I’m very level headed, I’ll have you know,” Malfoy said.
“Right, of course you are. Seriously, though, what were you going to say?” He pushed a bit of the potato into his mouth.
“It’s just a saying is all. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
And then it clicked. “Didn’t your mother teach you to eat your vegetables?”
Malfoy nodded.
Harry shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. I mean, it happened twenty-six years ago. I’m kind of used to it.”
“Still, you should, you know?”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Eat my vegetables?”
“I’m sure your aunt taught you that at least. Tsk, Potter. You should take care of yourself.”
“Nah, my aunt wouldn’t care.” He bit his tongue. He needed to stop talking to Malfoy. It wasn’t good for his health.
Malfoy eyed him thoughtfully but didn’t say anything, for which Harry was grateful. Until, that is, Malfoy did say something.
“We’ll have to fix that.”
“Fix what? The vegetables?”
Malfoy gave him a look that said, in no uncertain terms, Don’t be an idiot.
“No, the issue of your lack of experience,” Malfoy said.
Harry stared at him. “Now you’re having me on,” he said. “Because there is no way I’m going to let you help me.”
“Actually, I’ve quite a decent track record. I could recommend some highly talented -”
“Will you shut up?” Harry hissed. He glanced around, thankful that no one seemed to be paying attention much to him. “Leave it alone.”
“Why? Wait, you’re not asexual or something, are you?” Malfoy asked.
Harry stared at him, mouth agape. “What?” he said. “No.”
“Well, then I have to ask. Boys or girls?”
Harry could feel the blush starting, rising from his chest upwards until his ears felt far too hot. He let out a choked, strangled sound.
Malfoy snorted. “It’s a legitimate question,” he said.
And oh, how Harry wished it were that easy. He’d clung to Ginny after the war in an effort to pretend he preferred the soft roundness of a woman’s body to that of the hard lines of another man. He’d tried to wank thinking of her sinking down onto his cock, but he could only get off when he’d pictured Charlie or Bill behind him, holding his hips, pushing into him, and fucking him hard. He didn’t want feminine and gentle. He wanted something he couldn’t have. Because he was Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, Saviour of the Wizarding World, Scarhead, and he’d never live it down if he were a bloody poof.
“I’m going,” he said suddenly. He stood, throwing a small handful of sickles onto the table. “Have a good day, Malfoy.”
He ignored Malfoy’s protest as he stepped outside and Apparated away.
*****
He was a right and bloody fool.
He stood in his shower, thinking of just exactly what Malfoy had promised him. A shag. A fucking shag. And he’d turned it down.
His hand fisted his cock faster and harder.
Of course, Malfoy hadn’t been offering himself, but now Harry thought of Malfoy on his knees before him, that golden head of hair buried in his lap as Malfoy sucked his cock in to the root.
“Fuck!”
He braced himself against the wall as he came. He continued to stroke himself through the aftershocks, until it became too much. He wondered if Malfoy would swallow.
Bloody hell, he needed to stop these thoughts. Ignoring the fact that Malfoy was Malfoy and therefore there was no way Harry was letting him anywhere near his cock, he had no hint whatsoever that Malfoy liked blokes, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask.
He murmured a spell and the water shut off. Once he was out of the shower, toweled off and dressed in flannel pyjamas, He went to his bookshelf and pulled off a copy of The Three Musketeers. It was silly and old and Muggle, but it was fun and the kind of adventure he dreamed about as a child and still loved, even after his “adventure” with Voldemort, and it would help take his thoughts off of Malfoy.
Maybe he just wasn’t meant for sex. He could handle it.
*****
Harry thought he could have handled it just fine if Malfoy would leave him the bloody fuck alone.
Ever since his accidental revelation, Malfoy had decided to make all his potions deliveries personally, and he was never alone.
The first time, he’d shown up with a lovely witch on his arm. She was tall and slender, with thick dark hair that curled over her shoulders, the tips resting on the swell of her breasts. He couldn’t help but admit she was beautiful, even if she’d done nothing for him below the belt.
But the way Malfoy’s shirt clung to his broad shoulders, and the way his hair was slightly mussed, as if he’d just rolled out of bed. That had definitely stirred his arousal.
He glared when Malfoy smirked at him, raising an eyebrow and gesturing towards the woman on his arm. She smiled at him, red lips curled up slightly, and winked.
He’d only hissed a quick "Stop it" when he passed Malfoy on the way to his office. The woman had pouted, but he’d ignored them both for the rest of their stay which, thankfully, hadn’t been long.
The next time, Malfoy had brought another woman. This one was shorter, with bright red hair and violet eyes.
“She looks nothing like Ginny, and stop trying,” he’d said when Malfoy had propped himself against the door of his office and asked, “Well?”
Malfoy continued to show up time and time again with a woman or two clinging to him as he made his deliveries. Harry rolled his eyes and checked up on his patients in the wing farthest from where Malfoy was.
Sometimes he tried to imagine the women Malfoy brought to the hospital in his bed. He tried to imagine tasting them, sliding balls deep into them. His erection only flagged.
*****
What the bloody hell?
Harry stared at the bloke conversing with Malfoy. The man was a similar height and build to Malfoy, with sandy hair and a smattering of freckles.
His mouth went dry when Malfoy gave him his signature cocky grin and raised eyebrow. He knew he was blushing.
Because the nameless bloke, whoever he was, was bloody attractive, and the little bit of chest the man was revealing by having his top button open made his pulse quicken.
He didn’t notice Malfoy walking up to him until he’d thrown his arm around his shoulders. “So it is blokes, then.”
Harry looked at Malfoy, then back at the man, and it was all too much. To have a bloke in front of him he could shag, and to be so close to Malfoy - close enough he could smell him - it did things to him. He’d repressed his sexuality for far too long, and now it was making itself known in an almost painful way. He shifted, his cock thick and heavy between his legs.
“I can send him to your place tonight. He’s very… discreet,” Malfoy said.
Harry considered. He looked back at the man. He was attractive, and Harry was horny. So he nodded.
Malfoy smiled a tight, pinched smile that Harry barely took notice of. “Alright then.”
*****
Harry paced in his sitting room, wiping his sweaty palms on his trousers. He’d agreed to this, and Nathan - his escort - would arrive any moment.
And then he was there, whooshing through the fireplace and stepping gracefully into the room.
He smiled. “Harry, I presume,” he said, holding out a hand.
“Yeah,” he said, taking the hand. “And you’re Nathan.”
“Nice place,” Nathan said. He stepped closer. “But I’m here for the company.”
Nathan took a hold of his hips and pulled Harry towards him. Harry stumbled, then flushed as he was pulled chest to chest, the close proximity forcing him to look up to see Nathan’s face.
“I… er, that is…”
“Don’t worry. Draco’s kept me informed,” Nathan said.
“Oh, god,” Harry groaned, feeling mortified.
Nathan chuckled. “It’s perfectly understandable, Harry. It happens to the best of us. But I’ll teach you everything you need to know, yeah?”
Harry nodded, then gasped as Nathan’s lips touched his own. He’d never kissed another bloke before, and the rougher edges, the hint of stubble, the smell of cologne… it was better than he’d imagined.
He let his eyes drift closed as he slid his hands up into soft hair, touching the sensitive skin at the nape of Nathan’s neck. When Nathan’s tongue licked lightly at his mouth, he opened and welcomed it.
And Merlin, he’d been missing out. The slick slide of a tongue against his own felt amazing and sent spikes of heat straight to his groin. He pushed himself closer, rolling his hips. A knee nudged between his legs and he obediently spread them, allowing a thigh to press against his cock.
Nathan was almost exactly the same size as another man who’d entered his fantasies. He was tall and slender, and his hair was wispy and soft, just like in his fantasies. With his eyes closed, he could pretend.
“Draco,” he moaned.
Nathan stiffened and pulled back a bit to look at him.
Harry froze, because he hadn’t meant to do that. He hadn’t meant to do that at all and oh god, if Nathan told Malfoy, he’d never live it down. The entire wizarding world would know, because Malfoy never had been one to keep secrets very well. Not when they involved Harry’s humiliation.
“I can pretend, if you want,” Nathan said.
Harry shook his head and pushed Nathan away. “No,” he said.
Nathan didn’t relent though. He pushed forward and seized Harry’s lips in a bruising kiss. Harry moaned, because he hadn’t been kissed since Ginny and it felt good, even if it was with someone he didn’t know, someone he didn’t even really like, and certainly not the person he wished was really kissing him.
“What does he call you?” Nathan asked.
Harry let himself go along with it. “Just Potter.”
“Well then, Potter,” Nathan said, sneering a bit in a pale imitation of Malfoy. “Do you want me bent over, or are you the one dying for a cock in your arse?”
Harry opened his mouth to say please or oh god, the latter, but the heat of the moment was gone because he didn’t think Malfoy would ever be like that. Malfoy would just… take what he wanted. He’d bend Harry over and Harry would moan, and it would be so good.
His fantasy had been shattered and now he was looking at Nathan, and Nathan looked nothing like Malfoy. His hair was too dark, his skin was too tanned. He had freckles and brown eyes, and it was all so wrong.
“I can’t,” he said.
Nathan frowned. “Am I not pretending well enough?”
“No, you’re great. And you’re a fantastic kisser, and I’m sure you’d be great in bed… But you’re not…” he trailed off.
“I’m not who you’d really like to be with?” Nathan asked, a small smile crossing his face.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“Harry, you’re not the first person who’s ever had this dilemma. Although, as someone who’s seen numerous people go through this very same experience, it’s often best solved by just telling the person you like that you like them,” Nathan said.
“Yeah, well, you obviously don’t know Malfoy then,” Harry said, frowning. “We’re not exactly friends.”
“Sometimes, that’s a good thing. Look, I’m an escort, which means I’ve seen it all. Friendship can transform into passion, but not always. Sometimes… sometimes passion, or love, or lust, or whatever you want to call what you feel right now… it’s not as straightforward,” Nathan said. He reached out and tucked a strand of Harry’s hair behind his ear, then stroked his cheek. It was a comforting gesture, and Harry appreciated it.
“I’ve only seen friendship become love. I can’t imagine it working any other way,” he said.
“Really? Because if rumours are correct, didn’t your mother originally hate your father?”
Harry froze. He stared at Nathan.
“Just… think about it, yeah? And owl me if you need it. I’m always up for a good shag, and like Malfoy said, I’m discreet.”
Harry nodded and watched as Nathan stepped back into the fireplace and Flooed away. He leaned against a wall, lost in thought.
Nathan was right. He’d seen Snape’s memories. His mum hadn’t liked his dad at all at first. And yet… they had still fallen in love.
He considered Nathan’s advice, but no matter how hard he thought, he couldn’t imagine it being that easy.
*****
Harry was in his office, filing some paperwork, when Malfoy popped in.
“How’d it go?” he asked.
Harry glanced up, annoyed. “Please stop trying to set me up.”
“But Potter, you’re you, and you’re a virgin. There’s so much wrong with that,” Malfoy said. “Besides, I’ve heard Nathan is… quite talented, if you know what I mean.”
Harry stood up. “Look, Malfoy, fine, whatever, I’m a virgin. But… I’m used to it, okay. It’s not a thing with me, it’s just how it is, and I don’t appreciate being treated like some charity case,” he said. He ignored Malfoy’s smile. “Besides, like you said, if wanted a shag, I could get one. Because I’m me.”
He walked around Malfoy, intending to leave his office and pray Malfoy was gone by they time he got back, but Malfoy stopped him by grabbing the sleeve of his Mediwizard robe.
“I didn’t mean to offend you,” he said.
Harry shook his arm free and crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, you did. Maybe you have no problem shagging every witch or wizard that crosses your path, but… I’m different, okay?”
Malfoy narrowed his eyes. “Is that your way of calling me a whore, Potter?”
“Take it however you want, but I’d say the description fits. After all, you seem to think everything can be solved by sex,” he hissed. He hadn’t realized just how angry he was until then, but he was tired of Malfoy shoving people at him when it was Malfoy he wanted. And he was tired of wanting Malfoy.
“Fine, whatever. I’m a whore. Sorry I tried to help you. Although honestly, I think a shag could do you good.” He ignored Harry’s sputtered protests. “I’ll be staying out of your way then, because that seems to be what you want.”
“That is what I want. I want you to just go away.”
Malfoy huffed and walked out, turning at the last minute to say, “And for your information, I don’t shag anyone and everyone. But at least I do shag.”
Harry stood there, waiting for him to come back. It would be such a Malfoy thing to do, to make him think he was finally gone only to come right back with a new plan and a new bloke, but he didn’t. He should be feeling relieved. He could go back to his normal life.
His normal, boring life, because his normal life didn’t have Malfoy in it.
He sighed. He had no idea what to do. He should have been happy Malfoy had gone, leaving him alone. Instead, he just felt lonelier.
*****
For the next two weeks, Malfoy sent a short, pimply boy over with his potion supply. The bloke said he was hoping to get an internship. Harry pitied him, because no one deserved to work under Malfoy.
He still wished Malfoy would come back. He hadn’t realized just how much he had been enjoying Malfoy’s company.
Nathan’s words still haunted him, but most of the time he could push them to the back of his mind. Malfoy was gone, it seemed. There was no point fretting over might-have-beens.
*****
Three weeks after their last encounter, Malfoy delivered his potions. When Harry looked at him quizzically, he muttered something about Eric being sick. Harry figured Eric was the pimply boy.
At least Malfoy had come alone. Harry could breathe a sigh of relief at that bit.
He tried to ignore Malfoy as he made his rounds, checking on various patients. There hadn’t been any emergencies in a few days which, while nice, left him with a lot of free time.
He planned to spend it in his office, filing papers or twiddling his thumbs. Either one would keep him out of Malfoy’s path.
Except Malfoy had just turned down the hall he was in, and they were going to pass by each other.
Malfoy gave him a tight smile, but seemed intent on ignoring him. Harry thought this a good plan.
Unfortunately, he’d always had a habit of doing things without fully thinking them through. Instead of nodding politely, he turned to Malfoy and said, “Will you go out to lunch with me?”
Malfoy stared at him. “Like… a date?”
Harry could feel the blush creeping up his neck. He hadn’t meant it as a date. He had meant it as an apology. But a date with Malfoy… he really would like that.
“Sure. I mean, if you want,” he said. His ears were burning now.
Malfoy smiled. “Sure. But only if you’re paying.”
Harry raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t that make you the girl?”
“Oh, shut up Potter,” Malfoy said, rolling his eyes but still grinning.
Harry shrugged. “Fine, I’ll pay. Just don’t order the whole menu, yeah?”
Malfoy grinned at that. “Try and stop me, Potter.”
Harry bit his lip, then blurted, “Harry.”
There was a brief moment of silence before Malfoy inclined his head a bit. “Draco.”
“Well, then, I’ll see you at noon. Draco.”
As he walked back to his office, he felt happier than he had in a long time. He also found it damn near impossible to concentrate on the paperwork that was waiting for him.
*****
Harry was ridiculously nervous for his date with Malfoy - Draco. He had to call him Draco. Dating required first names.
He rolled the name around in his mind a few times, then said it aloud, just to try it.
“Dra…co…”
It felt strange. It didn’t roll of the tongue as easy as “Malfoy,” and he felt like he was referring to someone else, not the infuriating former Slytherin he’d rivalled with all through their Hogwarts years.
Maybe it was better, then. There was so much hate between them from before. Maybe a new name and a new start would be best.
He arrived first at the restaurant, and for one brief, horrible moment, he thought maybe this had been a trap. Get Potter on a date, stand him up and laugh. But then a flash of sun on platinum blond hair caught his attention, and he smiled as Draco approached the table.
“Hey,” he said, a bit shyly. He could feel a blush creeping up his neck, and he cleared his throat.
Draco looked amused. “Hey.” He sat down across from Harry, smiling politely when their server brought them glasses of water. “I take it the rest of your day was better?”
Harry took a sip of his water. “Well,” he said, “our potion maker stopped bringing me ridiculously attractive escorts, so it was much easier to stay focused.”
“Really? You know, I’ve always been told how attractive the potion maker himself is. I’m surprised you could stay so focused at all.” Draco’s lips curled up in a lazy smile that had Harry’s stomach clenching in a not terribly unpleasant way.
Harry laughed. “I guess he did make it a little hard,” he conceded.
When their server returned to take their orders, Harry made sure to order a salad and a fruit bowl. He tried not to laugh when Draco ordered a chicken breast and side of potatoes.
Draco eyed their food sardonically when it finally came. “Well, at least you’re eating better now. I see I’ve already been a good influence on you.”
“And I can see I’ve already helped you loosen up a bit,” Harry said. He leaned forward and curled a finger towards Draco, beckoning him closer. “Let me tell you a secret. Eat what you like, not just what’s healthy. No one likes a prude.”
Draco rolled his eyes. “You’re eating a salad,” he pointed out.
“Yes, but I also happen to like salads. On occasion, anyway.” He winked at Draco, who only smiled back at him again, which made Harry’s stomach flip over itself. Again.
He couldn’t fully appreciate the moment, though, because there was one thing he needed to tell Draco first.
He cleared his throat. “Listen, er... I feel I should warn you,” he said.
Draco raised an eyebrow. “About?”
Harry flushed, because this was embarrassing. “I just... I mean, you probably already know anyway, because you know I haven’t, you know, done... stuff.”
Draco leaned back and raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I have been informed of all the stuff you haven’t done.”
“I know, it’s just... I haven’t really dated much. Or, you know, at all.”
Draco stared at him. “Wait, really? Harry... why? I mean, I know I’ve said it before, but look at you. You’re bloody attractive, rich, you have a fantastic job, not to mention you’re, well, you. So I don’t get it.”
Harry looked down, twisting the napkin between his fingers. “I don’t know. It never happened, I guess. I mean, I was too busy trying to stay alive, and then after the war things didn’t go away because their were trials and interviews and people wanted to me to do all these things, and it just got easier to ignore things. I got a job. I’d go there and when my shift was over, I’d come home. Sometimes I went to Ron and Hermione’s, but that’s about it.”
He jumped when Draco reached over, placing one hand over his and stilling the shredding of the napkin. “I get it,” he said. “I’m surprised, but I get it.”
“Anyway, I wanted you to know in case I violate some dating rule or something,” he said.
Draco snickered. “Well, rule number one is you usually don’t talk about your dating history - or lack thereof - until an agreed upon time.”
“Oh,” Harry said. He looked at his salad, feeling lost. “I’m sorry.”
“If it makes you feel better, I’ve never been in a relationship.”
It was Harry’s turn to stare. “But... you said you’ve shagged.”
“It was sex, that’s all,” Draco said. “I mean, I guess I went on a date here or there, but... that was the exception, not the rule.”
“So, you’re saying...”
“That I’m new to this too? Yes, I am.”
Harry smiled at him, and turned his wrist so he could intertwine their fingers.
Draco gestured towards their interlocked fingers. “Now see? You’re a natural.”
They ordered a dessert and split it, grinning at each other over the chocolate cake. The war had been over for years now, but it was the first time Harry felt like he was finally living.
*****
It was the day Draco finally achieved his Potion’s Master rank, almost a month after their first official date, that they finally fell into bed together.
“I want to take you,” Draco has whispered against the skin of his neck, the breaths of air sending tremors down his spine and straight to his cock. “I want to suck you off and after, I want to fuck you until you can’t walk for a week.”
Harry moaned. “Yes, Draco. Yes, yes, please.”
Draco did just that. Or tried to. He laughed when he accidentally elbowed Draco in the side, and Draco apologized profusely after he’d tried to roll Harry over and ended up rolling them off the bed, even though they’d laughed until they cried, then finished on the floor with Harry on his back and his knees over Draco’s shoulders.
It wasn’t flawless like the stories always made it seem, but as he lay there, still on the floor and curled around Draco, he couldn’t help but think it had been perfect all the same.
.