Hate Me
Summary: This is a song fic set to the song Hate Me by Blue October. It's not your usual song fic. I give a story first and then you'll read the song and it will tie into the story. Even if you HATE song fics, I promise that you will like this one.
THE STORY:
Draco and Harry have loved each other secretly for three years. The two share stolen kisses in dark corners, smiles and notes of affection and admiration. They make love under stars at night, far away from the eyes and hears of their Hogwarts schoolmates. They share each others hopes and dreams, allowing only the other person to know their vulnerabilities. It was the perfect love story indeed. That is, until now.
Draco should have known that true love and happiness could never last for him.
They are now in their sixth year of schooling and because of Draco's mission and his family's loyalty to the Dark Lord, he is forced to choose between his parents and the person that he loves more than life it's self. He doesn't want to give up either of them, but he loves his family and he couldn't turn his back on them and join the light. If he did, he would be condemning them to a fate worse than death at the hands of Voldemont and the death eaters. So he chooses to put distance between himself and Harry, if only to save both of their lives.
First he tries avoiding him. When that doesn't work, he becomes cold and spiteful, baiting the boy with insults that quickly escalate into fights of not only words, but fist too. One day Harry confronts him, demanding to know the truth behind his actions. He then begs and pleads with Draco to tell him what is going on. He wants to know why he suddenly behaving so irrationally, why he no longer seems to care for him. Harry promises that no matter what it is, they can get through it as long as they stand strong together. The look in those emerald green eyes is killing him but he has no choice. He must do what he has to do to protect himself and his family. Sure Harry and the light could protect them, but then they would both be too distracted with each other to truly focus on fighting in the up coming war. Draco is well aware of the fact that they lived and would die for each other but he couldn't be the reason why Harry lost the war. If they were ever going to happy and live a good life together, he needed the Savior to put all of his energy into the final battle. It hurts him to see the pain that he's causing Harry but it must be done. He has to make Harry hate him.
Not being able to out right lie to the one who holds his heart, he says nothing at. He walks away from him, even as Harry shouts at him to come back. He storms off to his room where he gets drunk. He does this in order to help him cope with the pressure of his mission and the pain of losing the boy that he loves. It leads to him being drunk on a daily basis.
It's two weeks later and Harry still hasn't given up on him. So, instead of pushing him away, Draco comes up with a plan to get rid of his stubborn lover once and for all. He invites Harry to come to his room the next evening so that they could talk. Harry is happy about this and gives him a passionate kiss. He then whispers sweet assurances into his ear. Telling him how things were going to be alright, saying how he would always be there for whatever the blond needed no matter what. Later on that day Draco sets the stage for his ultimate betrayal. After some research, he learns that a handsome young man in Ravenclaw is gay and enjoys encounters with anyone who is even remotely attractive. He is the perfect accomplice for what he needs to do.
The next evening, Harry arrives only to find him slamming into the moan, withering body of the Ravenclaw. He doesn't have to turn around to know that Harry's standing in the door way. He could hear his guts twisting and his heart breaking from a mile away. He closes his eyes, determined not to let tears fall. He didn't want to do this but it was the only way. He fully expects Harry to run off quietly and keep his distance from now on but he walks over to him and pushes him off of the boy. He slaps him and yells at him as the Ravenclaw leaves the room. He tells Draco that this isn't like him. He doesn't believe that he would do something so cruel and heatless to him. Harry demands to know the truth once again.
Draco summons all of his strength, the Slytherin cunningness, the Malfoy coldness and tells Harry that he doesn't love him any more, that he never really did. He berates the boy, telling him that he's not good enough for a pure-blood prince like himself. He tells him that that their relationship was nothing more than a curiosity that has now been satisfied and that he was ready to move on to someone that was better, someone that could be his equal. He laughs in his face, but to himself it sounds more like a bitter cackle. He screams at him to leave and to never come back. The look on Harry's face makes him want to break down and tell him the truth about his mission and his concern for his family. He wants to kiss his little love and tell me that he loves him more than anything, but that same love is the reason why he can't. Harry is in tears as he runs his fingers along Draco's cheek before drawing his hand back and slapping him, this time twice as hard as he had before. He tells him that he hates him and that he will never forgive him for hurting him before running out of his room and out of his life.
Draco is crushed. He didn't think that this charade would hurt so much but he would have to block out all thoughts of Harry and his love for him if he was ever going to survive this ordeal. There was no turning back now. He had done what he needed to do.
Harry hated him and that's exactly the way that he wanted it. He can only hold on to the hope that once the war was over, Harry could find it in his hear to forgive him. That they could be once again be happy together.
HATE ME
I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
I'm sober now for 3 whole months it's one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I'll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your green eyes crying and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling "make it go away!"
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then he whispered "How can you do this to me?"
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you