[IDW] Truth in Advertising - Chapter 28 - Delirious
Summary: Starscream returns home, expecting nothing, and is surprised when Blurr has something important to say.
Truth in Advertising - Chapter Twenty Eight
Delirious
Starscream distracted himself for as long as possible.
He stayed in Wheeljack’s lab as long as he dared before duty called. He spent the on-shift on bolts and brackets, waiting for the press to ambush him, or for someone to start throwing stones and drive him out of the city. The fact that it didn’t happen only made him more agitated.
He left Wheeljack to rest, the engineer already hip deep in some kind of energon-production device, and Starscream attended to his duties. He met with construction crews who’d been evaluating buildings for reconstruction attempts. He spoke with buyers and suppliers. He discussed energon production with other engineers.
He met with a few mechs who felt safe enough to address their grievances with him directly, most of which involved the lack of certain supplies or a desire to speed up certain processes. One mech expressed his concern over the terrorist, and Starscream put on a brave front to provide reassurance.
He set up a date and time for all those interested in his task force to meet, and watched the applications pop up here and there with no real enthusiasm. It was as disheartening as the rest of his shift.
Starscream was more productive in this single on-shift than he had been in the past week. He worked as long as he could, through the last of first shift, all of the second shift, and late into the third. Anything to keep from returning to what he knew he’d find in his penthouse.
It wasn’t until his processor screamed at him for recharge, for rest, for refueling, that Starscream gave in to the demands of his frame. He turned toward home, or the closest thing to it, opting to enter through the balcony.
The suite was dark as he approached, which came as no surprise. He let himself in, spark twisting itself into knots, and stepped into the dim silence of the main room. The only illumination came from standby lights from various pieces of equipment.
There was no one here. Starscream didn’t have to wander around to look. There was no need. He could feel the lack of any other living being.
He’d known this would be the outcome. That didn’t make it any easier to bear. Blurr had, in all likelihood, left the moment Starscream did. He had no reason to return. Surely there were many mechs in the city willing to offer him shelter. He, after all, was popular.
Starscream gnawed on his bottom lip. He forced himself into motion, slipping into the energon storage room and drawing a cube of mid-grade. It was enough to sate the clenching of his tanks, though he barely tasted it. Fuel was necessary. Enjoying it was not.
He wandered back into the main room. He supposed he could attend to any of the datapads stacked on the central table. He could peruse the applications in his inbox. He could try and contact Rattrap and see if there was any news of Obsidian.
He could do… well anything other than turn in slow circles in the main room like some kind of lost creature.
Easier said than done.
The silence unnerved him.
Starscream paused behind the couch, not for any real reason, it was just where he happened to be when his limbs stopped moving. He cycled a long ventilation. His spark felt heavy, cold. His hand scrubbed down his face, burying himself behind it. Pathetic.
He fragging knew it.
The door clicked as it opened.
No. Starscream didn’t feel like dealing with Obsidian and his ilk today.
“Whatever news you have for me can wait until tomorrow,” Starscream muttered. It didn’t matter which of the two had come - Jazz or Rattrap. They’d get over it. Just like he’d gotten over the fact both of them could cut through any security he devised to let themselves in whenever they wanted.
“I’m sorry.”
Blurr’s voice.
Starscream startled. He slowly lowered his hand and lifted his gaze, his optics finding Blurr stepping further into the loft, the door clicking shut behind him. There was something tentative in his expression, but determined as well.
Starscream cycled his optics. “What?”
“I said--” Blurr paused to intake a deep vent. “I’m sorry.” He took another step, and then a third. His armor was drawn tight. “I overreacted. I said things I shouldn’t have.”
No. This wasn’t right. This was wrong. He didn’t know what game Blurr wanted to play now, but mechs didn’t apologize to Starscream. They especially didn’t apologize for saying what everyone else thought.
Starscream shook his helm. “Don’t apologize for speaking the truth,” he said. He was so very tired of games. He’d known better, he’d dared try anyway, and look what it had gotten him. “I am who I am, and I don’t blame you for that.”
Blurr limped closer, his optics downcast. “No, I mean it, Star. I’m sorry. I was being unfair.”
The words didn’t make any sense. Starscream heard them, but he couldn’t make sense of them.
He took a step back, toward the balcony. “You were right,” he said, and spread his hands. “I did save Wheeljack for selfish reasons. I did keep him a secret, and I’ve done things. Awful things. I’m not a good mech. I’ll never be a good mech. It’s what I am.”
Blurr said nothing. He stared at Starscream as though he’d never seen Starscream before. His expression softened around the edges, but of his field, Starscream could feel nothing. He had no clue what Blurr was thinking right now.
It didn’t matter. He’d heard enough of what Blurr felt about him.
Starscream pinched his nasal ridge. “I’m ending our partnership.”
Blurr jerked as though Starscream had struck him. “What?”
This was so much easier. Starscream went to that place, where he was cold and empty inside, and found it felt like home.
“It was a mistake from the start,” he said, dismissive, and shrugged. “A poorly executed plan on my part, but what else is new?” He smiled, though there was no amusement in it. “You’re still welcome to stay here until you’ve found somewhere else. I can make other arrangements.”
Blurr’s optics brightened. He took another limping step forward, his hands twitching at his sides. “I don’t… that’s not.. I’m trying to apologize here!” he said with a huff of his ventilations.
“And I appreciate it, but there’s no need. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Yes. This was what he’d been missing. It was so much easier when he was dead inside.
Starscream cycled a ventilation. “In any case, I can tell by that limp you’ve not rested today, so I recommend you do so. I’ll leave you to it.”
He turned toward the balcony, and caught his reflection in the transsteel as he did so. His expression was cold and empty, something that had often served him well when staring down a furious Megatron. He hadn’t known it would be so useful in this instance as well.
“Starscream, stop.”
There was a scramble of pedesteps, a clunk, and a curse, all echoing from behind him.
“Please,” Blurr said, and then hissed, “Ow. Primus damn it. Come on, Starscream. I can’t chase after you like this!”
Starscream paused, inches from freedom. He half-turned, enough to see that Blurr was indeed pushing himself across the floor. “Why would you? I believe our business is concluded.”
Blurr’s optics flashed. He seemed to have shaken off whatever confusion had taken residence before. “This stopped being business weeks ago and you know it,” he huffed, coming around the edge of the nearest chair.
Starscream gave him a sideways look. “I am giving you an out,” he said, as plain as he could manage. His spark thumped a rhythm in his chassis, and he wanted to shout at it, tell the foolish thing to cease that behavior at once.
“I don’t want it,” Blurr insisted, within reaching distance now. His jaw had set, his optics bright and determined.
That was not fair. Not at all.
Starscream’s engine caught on a gear and made a strangled noise. His wings fluttered downward.
He shook his helm, and slid a hand down his face. “Then I don’t know what you want from me!” Starscream gritted out, every inch of him aching. His free hand curled into a fist, one he was alarmed to find trembled.
The first points of Blurr’s field reached him. It was tentative, warm, open. He came closer, ungraceful steps so uncharacteristic of him, before Starscream felt the first delicate touch of fingers against his hand.
“I’m sorry,” Blurr said, again, and the words sounded so foreign, like binary garble. “I fragged up. And it was easier to blame you instead and that was unfair. So… I’m sorry.”
Starscream’s hand slid down. Blurr was there, right there in front of him, looking at him with nothing but genuine apology in his expression. Guilt, too. It hung in his field like a grey miasma.
“I don’t want to dissolve our partnership,” Blurr added with the smallest of squeezes to Starscream’s fingers. “I don’t want you to leave either.”
Starscream’s mouth opened and closed, but he had no words. He forced his vocalizer into action, saying the only thing he knew to be true. “I am not a good mech.”
Blurr’s free hand lifted, and Starscream braced himself. He didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t the gentle way Blurr’s palm cupped his face.
“Turns out, neither am I,” he said with a sheepish cant to his field. His thumb stroked over Starscream’s cheek and leaned in close enough that Starscream felt the ghost of his ex-vents. “Is it okay if I--”
“Yes,” Starscream answered before his mind overrode his spark.
Blurr’s lips closed over his before the last syllable could fade, so warm and welcoming. Starscream sank into the kiss, the warm press of their lips, the gentle touch against his face. He ached and unknotted all at once.
Blurr pressed closer, warmth emanating from his plating. “I’m sorry,” he said, again, his lips brushing over Starscream’s.
“You said that already,” Starscream said, and dumbly at that. He felt in a daze, and didn’t know if the lack of recharge was to blame, or the dizzying way Blurr pressed gentle kisses to the curve of his jaw.
“I’m not sure you know that I mean it,” Blurr replied, his hand curving around the back of Starscream’s helm.
He pushed closer and Starscream stumbled backward, a mere-half step before his wings and back hit the cool transsteel of the balcony window. He had nowhere to go from the warmth Blurr offered, and he didn’t want to leave.
They kissed again, soft and sweet, and Starscream couldn’t be sure this wasn’t part of some recharge-addled dream. That he hadn’t fallen into recharge over his desk and wandered to an imagining where someone cared about him.
Blurr squeezed his hand and then let it go, circling his arm around Starscream’s frame, his hand pressed to Starscream’s backstrut. He urged their frames together, and Starscream moaned into the kiss. He forced his hands into motion, seeking an anchor and finding it in Blurr’s hips.
His processor continued to spin, as his spark throbbed, and heat pulsed into his lines. Blurr nipped at his lips, so gentle that it barely counted as a nip, before his mouth wandered down to the vulnerable cables of Starscream’s neck. He worked his intake, helm tilting back against the transsteel, Blurr’s lips and glossa teasing the sensitive dermal metal.
Starscream’s knees wobbled. “Why?” he stammered. “Why are you--?”
“Kissing you? Because I want to.” Blurr’s hands slid to his shoulders, to his sides, to his waist, to his hip. “To show you that you’re not a monster.”
Starscream’s spark clenched. He couldn’t swallow past the knot in his intake. His hands moved to Blurr’s shoulders as Blurr knelt in front of him, which he shouldn’t do because of his healing hip. But if it hurt, Starscream couldn’t tell, not with the way Blurr nuzzled his groin and ex-vented wet heat over his panels.
“Gonna open for me?” Blurr asked as he rubbed his cheek against Starscream’s groin plating.
“What?” Starscream asked, dumbly.
Blurr’s fingers held his hip, thumbs sweeping into transformation seams and teasing the cables beneath. “Because it’ll be difficult for me to suck you off with your panels shut. Unless you’d rather I lick you out instead.”
Starscream’s engine all but roared. His ventilations heaved, panels clicking open with an audible pop. His hands rested on Blurr’s shoulders, fingers flexing.
“Mmm, that’s better,” Blurr murmured, and ex-vented over Starscream’s equipment again. His lips brushed over the heated metal surrounding his panels. “Got a preference for which one?”
Starscream shivered. He worked his intake.
“No?” Blurr said before Starscream could manage a single word. “Guess I’ll just have to try them both. Like this pretty spike right here, I think.” His glossa extended, lapping at the tip of Starscream’s spike and returning with a drop of pre-fluid.
Starscream groaned. His hips juttered forward, spike drawn to the temptation of Blurr’s mouth. A jolt of need shot up his backstrut and back down again, focusing in his groin.
“Can’t believe I haven’t done this yet,” Blurr murmured before he slowly took Starscream into his mouth, swallowing Starscream’s spike inch by precious inch.
Starscream gasped. He gnawed on his bottom lip, his fingers curling into claws around Blurr’s shoulders. His hips jerked with every sweep of Blurr’s glossa, every gentle touch of his denta.
“Blurr, you don’t have to--”
“What? Offer you pleasure?” Blurr asked as he let Starscream slip from his lips. He looked up at Starscream, his optics bright. “Why not? You’ve done the same for me.”
“Yes, but--”
“Do you not like it?” Blurr ex-vented hotly, the warm gust sending tingles through Starscream’s spike and into his sensory net.
He shivered and gnawed on his bottom lip. “I do.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No.”
“Then I don’t see what the problem is.” Blurr rubbed his cheek along Starscream’s spike, making it throb. “Unless you want me to kiss elsewhere. Is that it?”
A choked sound escaped from Starscream’s vocalizer. His frame flushed with heat as his processor instantly conjured up images of Blurr nudging between his thighs, kissing his valve, and nibbling on his exterior nodes.
“That’s what I thought,” Blurr murmured as he nuzzled his way further down, lips pressing a kiss to the base of Starscream’s spike before he ventured further. “This pretty valve wants some attention, too.”
Starscream moaned, his thighs parting of their own accord, a wash of cool air wafting over the exposed components of his valve. His calipers fluttered, biolights blinking fitfully in anticipation.
“Look at it,” Blurr murmured as he curved one hand around Starscream’s hip and the back of his thigh, holding him in place. “Begging for attention. I should obey, shouldn’t I?”
Oh, Primus. Starscream ground his denta if only to keep from making more pathetic sounds.
“Yes, I think I should,” Blurr said before Starscream felt the first delicate touch of a glossa to the rim of his valve.
A whimper escaped Starscream’s intake. His knees wobbled, even as Blurr made a sound of delight and pressed harder, his nasal ridge nudging Starscream’s anterior node as his glossa pushed deeper, getting his first taste of Starscream’s lubricant.
Starscream’s spark throbbed. He gasped a ventilation, hands hooking harder into Blurr’s shoulders. He canted his hips forward, opening himself up to each careful lap of Blurr’s glossa, each tiny circle, and careful tasting of his nodes.
The pleasure rose inside him, like tiny cresting waves that his frame rode, rocking against Blurr’s mouth, his glossa, the tiny kisses he laved over Starscream’s rim. It felt like affection, like worship, and Starscream couldn’t remember a time he ever felt this adored.
It was a dream. It had to be.
Well, if it was, Starscream didn’t want to wake.
He trembled, one hand flailing for something to hold on to, as Blurr found and nibbled on his anterior node, suckling it with great care. Blurr’s hand caught his, and guided it to Blurr’s helm, urging him to direct Blurr. But all he could think was ‘more’ and his hand sought to guide Blurr deeper, harder.
Blurr purred against his valve, the vibrations stirring Starscream’s nodes. He gasped out a sound that may have been a word, hips canting forward, until the curve of Blurr’s hand around his thigh prompted him to lift a leg, draping it over Blurr’s shoulder. He tipped back, weight against the transteel window.
He moaned as Blurr’s glossa pushed into his valve, fragging him slowly, as though savoring each internal sensor he could reach. He trembled as Blurr returned to his nodes, both the anterior cluster and the caudal cluster. Heat built in his groin, charge cresting in his lines. His processor spun, the world around him twisting into heat and pleasure.
Blurr lapped at his rim, glossa tracing around it, before he nibbled on Starscream’s anterior node. He pinned it between his denta and flicked his glossa over it, again and again, until the coil of need in Starscream’s abdomen burst. He overloaded, gasping for a ventilation, as fire sparked through his lines. He gripped Blurr’s helm, keeping him in place, as he rocked against Blurr’s face, mindlessly seeking to extend that pleasure.
The ecstasy swept him up and dropped him down again, left him shaking, weak-kneed, and sagging against the transsteel. He eased his grip on Blurr’s helm, vision wobbly, his leg gently guided back to the floor.
And then Blurr was there, cradling his face, kissing him again, tasting of Starscream’s lubricants. Starscream moaned into the kiss, clutching at Blurr’s side, dragging him close, pressing their frames together. His lines thrummed, spark spinning rapidly in his chassis. He felt like he were floating, drowning in the gentle presses of Blurr’s lips to his.
“Berth now?” Blurr murmured.
Starscream made an incoherent noise. “Hmm?”
“Well, I can’t carry you sadly,” Blurr said and rubbed their nasal ridges together. “But it would be better to continue this in a berth.”
“Continue?” He sounded like an idiot, he knew he did. But his comprehension had gone out the window the moment Blurr apologized.
He still wasn’t convinced that he was online and aware.
“Mm hmm.” Blurr hummed and nibbled along the curve of his jaw. “I want to press you down to the berth and slide into you slowly, savor every inch of that pretty valve you have.”
Starscream, embarrassingly, whimpered. His valve clenched down at the thought, more lubricant slicking his thighs.
Blurr kissed him again, and Starscream lost himself to the heat of it, the slow touch of their glossas, the repeated brush of his lips. The berthroom was too far away, but the lure of the comfort of a berth prompted him into motion. Seeing Blurr’s limp was all the motivation he needed to move faster.
He forced himself to pull away, to stumble toward the berthroom, his vision a blur of colors.
When was the last time you recharged, he asked himself, and he couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter.
Blurr cornered him against the berth again, burying him in kisses. And Starscream moaned into them, clutching at Blurr, enjoying the warmth of their plating pressed together. He swore he could feel the frenetic whirl of Blurr’s spark despite the armor separating them, and knew his own echoed it.
“On the berth for me?” Blurr asked against his lips, his fingers stroking a delicate pattern down the back of Starscream’s wings, making him shiver.
Starscream worked his intake. He nodded, unable to manage words, and hoisted himself onto the padded surface. His spark throbbed, desire swirling like a mad vortex inside of him. His valve clenched, desperate for stimulation. Starscream automatically moved to hands and knees.
Blurr’s hands landed on his hips, exerting a careful pressure. “No,” he said as he urged Starscream to roll over, to arrange his wings so that he could lay on his back. “I want to see your face.”
He nudged his way between Starscream’s thighs, not that Starscream didn’t open for him. His hands held Starscream’s hips, smoothed down the outside of his thighs, tickled at the back of his knees. Starscream hummed deep in his intake, a shiver working down his spinal strut.
“Why?” Starscream asked, and instantly regretted the question, because it revealed more than he ever wanted to disclose.
Blurr paused and looked at him, something flicking across his face. He leaned forward, hands bracing themselves to either side of Starscream’s helm, his face hovering over Starscream’s.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, so simply, so frankly. “And I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.”
Starscream’s face heated. “I don’t think--”
“If you’re still thinking, I’m not doing my job right,” Blurr said with a little laugh. He pressed their forehelms together, and one by one, his hands sought out Starscream’s, tangling their fingers together. “So let me say it again, while you’re paying attention.”
Starscream’s thighs tightened against Blurr’s, the heat of Blurr’s panels pressed to his array like a promise. “You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do.” Blurr squeezed Starscream’s hands. “I’m sorry.”
Starscream worked his intake. “I accept your apology.”
“Mmm. Good.” Blurr rocked against him, his panel rubbing against Starscream’s external nodes. “I want to spike you now. Any objections to that?”
Starscream moaned, a coil tightening in his abdomen. He hooked his legs around Blurr’s waist, drawing the Racer tightly against him. “None.”
Blurr’s panels popped, and Starscream felt the wet brush of a spike against his inner thigh, nudging over his valve rim. He moaned, thighs trembling against Blurr’s hips. His helm tilted back against the berth as Blurr’s mouth descended to his intake, kissing and nibbling the sensitive cables there.
Blurr rocked his hips achingly slow, and his spike bobbed against Starscream’s swollen rim before the head finally caught. He pushed inside, a slow, savoring thrust that lit up Starscream’s internal nodes one by one.
Starscream’s backstrut arched, his hands squeezing Blurr’s, as he urged Blurr inside him, his calipers clutching at Blurr’s spike and trying to pull him deeper. His frame shook, heat cascading through his lines in a steady wave of need.
He waited. He expected Blurr to start fragging him in earnest now, pushing him deeper and deeper into the berth, his hands possessive and gripping.
Instead, Blurr’s mouth dragged back to his in another lingering kiss. They exchanged heated intakes, Blurr’s lips brushing over his. It was less a kiss, and better an embrace. He pushed into Starscream in slow, steady thrusts, spike dragging continuously over Starscream’s internal nodes.
Pleasure unfurled within Starscream like the ecstasy of a first transformation after weeks spent aberth. Like soaring high into the sky, spinning toward the stars. Starscream’s hands twitched against Blurr’s, trying to pull free, even as he turned his helm away from Blurr.
The pleasure, he knew, had to be written into his face. As did the need. He could feel the heat, the desperation of it, and he didn’t want Blurr to see him like that.
But Blurr’s grip on him was firm. Starscream’s hands were pinned to the berth. His entire frame was blanketed with Blurr’s, helpless to the pleasure Blurr built within him in steady waves. His thrusts never increased, only continued that steady drag against Starscream’s nodes, which spat charge back at Blurr’s spike.
Blurr peppered kisses over Starscream’s face, each of them feeling like the tiniest of promises.
Starscream’s spark ached. He trembled, vents sucking in desperate draughts of cooler air. The ecstasy spooled inside of him, knotting tighter and tighter. It wasn’t a frantic scrabble toward overload. It was completely out of his control.
Starscream whimpered, until Blurr’s lips caught his in a brief, gentle kiss. He pressed their forehelms together, his lips hovering over Starscream’s, but his gaze focused on Starscream’s. Their optics locked, and heat flooded Starscream’s face.
“I know you’re close,” Blurr murmured as he pushed deeper into Starscream, grinding against his ceiling node. His fingers flexed around Starscream’s. “I want to see you overload.”
Starscream worked his intake. He wanted to look away, but he felt trapped by the honesty in Blurr’s optics, and the affection in his field. Genuine affection.
He wanted to think this was all some game, some plan of Blurr’s to have Starscream under his thumb. But if Blurr was acting, he was a damn good one. There was sincerity in his words, in his actions, and it was intoxicating.
Starscream’s spark spun tighter, matching the pleasure that built and built and built in his frame. His ventilations caught and held, vibrating his frame.
“Come on,” Blurr purred, grinding deep into Starscream, their frames locked together, his hands squeezing. “Overload, Star. Sing for me.”
And he did.
The keen that rose in his vocalizer had no words, and the overload that swept over him was less an assault of ecstasy, and more a suffusing wave of rapture that carried him away. He trembled and shook, valve spasming and tightening on Blurr’s spike, his backstrut arching. His thighs clamped around Blurr’s hip as though desperate to keep Blurr within him, as he shook and shook and shook.
Blurr’s lips closed over his, swallowing the rest of the embarrassing noises, and Starscream was grateful for that. His optics shuttered and he sank into the berth, sank into the pleasure the overload offered.
The hot splatter of Blurr’s transfluid within him, washing over his nodes, sent Starscream into a second, smaller overload. He clamped down on Blurr, held him close, their frames moving together in tiny motions of metal shifting against metal, until the tension flooded out of Starscream’s cables, leaving him a limp mass against the berth.
He panted for ventilation, his vision fuzzy, his audials striped with static.
Blurr nuzzled his face, and he let Starscream’s hands go, giving him rein to wrap his arms around Blurr and keep the Racer pinned against him.
“I’m sorry,” Blurr murmured, again. His field was an embrace, wrapping around Starscream, soaked in guilt, apology, and affection.
Starscream’s spark fluttered. “I know.”
****
a/n: Feedback is welcome and appreciated. This entry was originally posted at http://dracoqueen22.dreamwidth.org/358146.html. Feel free to comment wherever you find most convenient.
Truth in Advertising - Chapter Twenty Eight
Delirious
Starscream distracted himself for as long as possible.
He stayed in Wheeljack’s lab as long as he dared before duty called. He spent the on-shift on bolts and brackets, waiting for the press to ambush him, or for someone to start throwing stones and drive him out of the city. The fact that it didn’t happen only made him more agitated.
He left Wheeljack to rest, the engineer already hip deep in some kind of energon-production device, and Starscream attended to his duties. He met with construction crews who’d been evaluating buildings for reconstruction attempts. He spoke with buyers and suppliers. He discussed energon production with other engineers.
He met with a few mechs who felt safe enough to address their grievances with him directly, most of which involved the lack of certain supplies or a desire to speed up certain processes. One mech expressed his concern over the terrorist, and Starscream put on a brave front to provide reassurance.
He set up a date and time for all those interested in his task force to meet, and watched the applications pop up here and there with no real enthusiasm. It was as disheartening as the rest of his shift.
Starscream was more productive in this single on-shift than he had been in the past week. He worked as long as he could, through the last of first shift, all of the second shift, and late into the third. Anything to keep from returning to what he knew he’d find in his penthouse.
It wasn’t until his processor screamed at him for recharge, for rest, for refueling, that Starscream gave in to the demands of his frame. He turned toward home, or the closest thing to it, opting to enter through the balcony.
The suite was dark as he approached, which came as no surprise. He let himself in, spark twisting itself into knots, and stepped into the dim silence of the main room. The only illumination came from standby lights from various pieces of equipment.
There was no one here. Starscream didn’t have to wander around to look. There was no need. He could feel the lack of any other living being.
He’d known this would be the outcome. That didn’t make it any easier to bear. Blurr had, in all likelihood, left the moment Starscream did. He had no reason to return. Surely there were many mechs in the city willing to offer him shelter. He, after all, was popular.
Starscream gnawed on his bottom lip. He forced himself into motion, slipping into the energon storage room and drawing a cube of mid-grade. It was enough to sate the clenching of his tanks, though he barely tasted it. Fuel was necessary. Enjoying it was not.
He wandered back into the main room. He supposed he could attend to any of the datapads stacked on the central table. He could peruse the applications in his inbox. He could try and contact Rattrap and see if there was any news of Obsidian.
He could do… well anything other than turn in slow circles in the main room like some kind of lost creature.
Easier said than done.
The silence unnerved him.
Starscream paused behind the couch, not for any real reason, it was just where he happened to be when his limbs stopped moving. He cycled a long ventilation. His spark felt heavy, cold. His hand scrubbed down his face, burying himself behind it. Pathetic.
He fragging knew it.
The door clicked as it opened.
No. Starscream didn’t feel like dealing with Obsidian and his ilk today.
“Whatever news you have for me can wait until tomorrow,” Starscream muttered. It didn’t matter which of the two had come - Jazz or Rattrap. They’d get over it. Just like he’d gotten over the fact both of them could cut through any security he devised to let themselves in whenever they wanted.
“I’m sorry.”
Blurr’s voice.
Starscream startled. He slowly lowered his hand and lifted his gaze, his optics finding Blurr stepping further into the loft, the door clicking shut behind him. There was something tentative in his expression, but determined as well.
Starscream cycled his optics. “What?”
“I said--” Blurr paused to intake a deep vent. “I’m sorry.” He took another step, and then a third. His armor was drawn tight. “I overreacted. I said things I shouldn’t have.”
No. This wasn’t right. This was wrong. He didn’t know what game Blurr wanted to play now, but mechs didn’t apologize to Starscream. They especially didn’t apologize for saying what everyone else thought.
Starscream shook his helm. “Don’t apologize for speaking the truth,” he said. He was so very tired of games. He’d known better, he’d dared try anyway, and look what it had gotten him. “I am who I am, and I don’t blame you for that.”
Blurr limped closer, his optics downcast. “No, I mean it, Star. I’m sorry. I was being unfair.”
The words didn’t make any sense. Starscream heard them, but he couldn’t make sense of them.
He took a step back, toward the balcony. “You were right,” he said, and spread his hands. “I did save Wheeljack for selfish reasons. I did keep him a secret, and I’ve done things. Awful things. I’m not a good mech. I’ll never be a good mech. It’s what I am.”
Blurr said nothing. He stared at Starscream as though he’d never seen Starscream before. His expression softened around the edges, but of his field, Starscream could feel nothing. He had no clue what Blurr was thinking right now.
It didn’t matter. He’d heard enough of what Blurr felt about him.
Starscream pinched his nasal ridge. “I’m ending our partnership.”
Blurr jerked as though Starscream had struck him. “What?”
This was so much easier. Starscream went to that place, where he was cold and empty inside, and found it felt like home.
“It was a mistake from the start,” he said, dismissive, and shrugged. “A poorly executed plan on my part, but what else is new?” He smiled, though there was no amusement in it. “You’re still welcome to stay here until you’ve found somewhere else. I can make other arrangements.”
Blurr’s optics brightened. He took another limping step forward, his hands twitching at his sides. “I don’t… that’s not.. I’m trying to apologize here!” he said with a huff of his ventilations.
“And I appreciate it, but there’s no need. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Yes. This was what he’d been missing. It was so much easier when he was dead inside.
Starscream cycled a ventilation. “In any case, I can tell by that limp you’ve not rested today, so I recommend you do so. I’ll leave you to it.”
He turned toward the balcony, and caught his reflection in the transsteel as he did so. His expression was cold and empty, something that had often served him well when staring down a furious Megatron. He hadn’t known it would be so useful in this instance as well.
“Starscream, stop.”
There was a scramble of pedesteps, a clunk, and a curse, all echoing from behind him.
“Please,” Blurr said, and then hissed, “Ow. Primus damn it. Come on, Starscream. I can’t chase after you like this!”
Starscream paused, inches from freedom. He half-turned, enough to see that Blurr was indeed pushing himself across the floor. “Why would you? I believe our business is concluded.”
Blurr’s optics flashed. He seemed to have shaken off whatever confusion had taken residence before. “This stopped being business weeks ago and you know it,” he huffed, coming around the edge of the nearest chair.
Starscream gave him a sideways look. “I am giving you an out,” he said, as plain as he could manage. His spark thumped a rhythm in his chassis, and he wanted to shout at it, tell the foolish thing to cease that behavior at once.
“I don’t want it,” Blurr insisted, within reaching distance now. His jaw had set, his optics bright and determined.
That was not fair. Not at all.
Starscream’s engine caught on a gear and made a strangled noise. His wings fluttered downward.
He shook his helm, and slid a hand down his face. “Then I don’t know what you want from me!” Starscream gritted out, every inch of him aching. His free hand curled into a fist, one he was alarmed to find trembled.
The first points of Blurr’s field reached him. It was tentative, warm, open. He came closer, ungraceful steps so uncharacteristic of him, before Starscream felt the first delicate touch of fingers against his hand.
“I’m sorry,” Blurr said, again, and the words sounded so foreign, like binary garble. “I fragged up. And it was easier to blame you instead and that was unfair. So… I’m sorry.”
Starscream’s hand slid down. Blurr was there, right there in front of him, looking at him with nothing but genuine apology in his expression. Guilt, too. It hung in his field like a grey miasma.
“I don’t want to dissolve our partnership,” Blurr added with the smallest of squeezes to Starscream’s fingers. “I don’t want you to leave either.”
Starscream’s mouth opened and closed, but he had no words. He forced his vocalizer into action, saying the only thing he knew to be true. “I am not a good mech.”
Blurr’s free hand lifted, and Starscream braced himself. He didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t the gentle way Blurr’s palm cupped his face.
“Turns out, neither am I,” he said with a sheepish cant to his field. His thumb stroked over Starscream’s cheek and leaned in close enough that Starscream felt the ghost of his ex-vents. “Is it okay if I--”
“Yes,” Starscream answered before his mind overrode his spark.
Blurr’s lips closed over his before the last syllable could fade, so warm and welcoming. Starscream sank into the kiss, the warm press of their lips, the gentle touch against his face. He ached and unknotted all at once.
Blurr pressed closer, warmth emanating from his plating. “I’m sorry,” he said, again, his lips brushing over Starscream’s.
“You said that already,” Starscream said, and dumbly at that. He felt in a daze, and didn’t know if the lack of recharge was to blame, or the dizzying way Blurr pressed gentle kisses to the curve of his jaw.
“I’m not sure you know that I mean it,” Blurr replied, his hand curving around the back of Starscream’s helm.
He pushed closer and Starscream stumbled backward, a mere-half step before his wings and back hit the cool transsteel of the balcony window. He had nowhere to go from the warmth Blurr offered, and he didn’t want to leave.
They kissed again, soft and sweet, and Starscream couldn’t be sure this wasn’t part of some recharge-addled dream. That he hadn’t fallen into recharge over his desk and wandered to an imagining where someone cared about him.
Blurr squeezed his hand and then let it go, circling his arm around Starscream’s frame, his hand pressed to Starscream’s backstrut. He urged their frames together, and Starscream moaned into the kiss. He forced his hands into motion, seeking an anchor and finding it in Blurr’s hips.
His processor continued to spin, as his spark throbbed, and heat pulsed into his lines. Blurr nipped at his lips, so gentle that it barely counted as a nip, before his mouth wandered down to the vulnerable cables of Starscream’s neck. He worked his intake, helm tilting back against the transsteel, Blurr’s lips and glossa teasing the sensitive dermal metal.
Starscream’s knees wobbled. “Why?” he stammered. “Why are you--?”
“Kissing you? Because I want to.” Blurr’s hands slid to his shoulders, to his sides, to his waist, to his hip. “To show you that you’re not a monster.”
Starscream’s spark clenched. He couldn’t swallow past the knot in his intake. His hands moved to Blurr’s shoulders as Blurr knelt in front of him, which he shouldn’t do because of his healing hip. But if it hurt, Starscream couldn’t tell, not with the way Blurr nuzzled his groin and ex-vented wet heat over his panels.
“Gonna open for me?” Blurr asked as he rubbed his cheek against Starscream’s groin plating.
“What?” Starscream asked, dumbly.
Blurr’s fingers held his hip, thumbs sweeping into transformation seams and teasing the cables beneath. “Because it’ll be difficult for me to suck you off with your panels shut. Unless you’d rather I lick you out instead.”
Starscream’s engine all but roared. His ventilations heaved, panels clicking open with an audible pop. His hands rested on Blurr’s shoulders, fingers flexing.
“Mmm, that’s better,” Blurr murmured, and ex-vented over Starscream’s equipment again. His lips brushed over the heated metal surrounding his panels. “Got a preference for which one?”
Starscream shivered. He worked his intake.
“No?” Blurr said before Starscream could manage a single word. “Guess I’ll just have to try them both. Like this pretty spike right here, I think.” His glossa extended, lapping at the tip of Starscream’s spike and returning with a drop of pre-fluid.
Starscream groaned. His hips juttered forward, spike drawn to the temptation of Blurr’s mouth. A jolt of need shot up his backstrut and back down again, focusing in his groin.
“Can’t believe I haven’t done this yet,” Blurr murmured before he slowly took Starscream into his mouth, swallowing Starscream’s spike inch by precious inch.
Starscream gasped. He gnawed on his bottom lip, his fingers curling into claws around Blurr’s shoulders. His hips jerked with every sweep of Blurr’s glossa, every gentle touch of his denta.
“Blurr, you don’t have to--”
“What? Offer you pleasure?” Blurr asked as he let Starscream slip from his lips. He looked up at Starscream, his optics bright. “Why not? You’ve done the same for me.”
“Yes, but--”
“Do you not like it?” Blurr ex-vented hotly, the warm gust sending tingles through Starscream’s spike and into his sensory net.
He shivered and gnawed on his bottom lip. “I do.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No.”
“Then I don’t see what the problem is.” Blurr rubbed his cheek along Starscream’s spike, making it throb. “Unless you want me to kiss elsewhere. Is that it?”
A choked sound escaped from Starscream’s vocalizer. His frame flushed with heat as his processor instantly conjured up images of Blurr nudging between his thighs, kissing his valve, and nibbling on his exterior nodes.
“That’s what I thought,” Blurr murmured as he nuzzled his way further down, lips pressing a kiss to the base of Starscream’s spike before he ventured further. “This pretty valve wants some attention, too.”
Starscream moaned, his thighs parting of their own accord, a wash of cool air wafting over the exposed components of his valve. His calipers fluttered, biolights blinking fitfully in anticipation.
“Look at it,” Blurr murmured as he curved one hand around Starscream’s hip and the back of his thigh, holding him in place. “Begging for attention. I should obey, shouldn’t I?”
Oh, Primus. Starscream ground his denta if only to keep from making more pathetic sounds.
“Yes, I think I should,” Blurr said before Starscream felt the first delicate touch of a glossa to the rim of his valve.
A whimper escaped Starscream’s intake. His knees wobbled, even as Blurr made a sound of delight and pressed harder, his nasal ridge nudging Starscream’s anterior node as his glossa pushed deeper, getting his first taste of Starscream’s lubricant.
Starscream’s spark throbbed. He gasped a ventilation, hands hooking harder into Blurr’s shoulders. He canted his hips forward, opening himself up to each careful lap of Blurr’s glossa, each tiny circle, and careful tasting of his nodes.
The pleasure rose inside him, like tiny cresting waves that his frame rode, rocking against Blurr’s mouth, his glossa, the tiny kisses he laved over Starscream’s rim. It felt like affection, like worship, and Starscream couldn’t remember a time he ever felt this adored.
It was a dream. It had to be.
Well, if it was, Starscream didn’t want to wake.
He trembled, one hand flailing for something to hold on to, as Blurr found and nibbled on his anterior node, suckling it with great care. Blurr’s hand caught his, and guided it to Blurr’s helm, urging him to direct Blurr. But all he could think was ‘more’ and his hand sought to guide Blurr deeper, harder.
Blurr purred against his valve, the vibrations stirring Starscream’s nodes. He gasped out a sound that may have been a word, hips canting forward, until the curve of Blurr’s hand around his thigh prompted him to lift a leg, draping it over Blurr’s shoulder. He tipped back, weight against the transteel window.
He moaned as Blurr’s glossa pushed into his valve, fragging him slowly, as though savoring each internal sensor he could reach. He trembled as Blurr returned to his nodes, both the anterior cluster and the caudal cluster. Heat built in his groin, charge cresting in his lines. His processor spun, the world around him twisting into heat and pleasure.
Blurr lapped at his rim, glossa tracing around it, before he nibbled on Starscream’s anterior node. He pinned it between his denta and flicked his glossa over it, again and again, until the coil of need in Starscream’s abdomen burst. He overloaded, gasping for a ventilation, as fire sparked through his lines. He gripped Blurr’s helm, keeping him in place, as he rocked against Blurr’s face, mindlessly seeking to extend that pleasure.
The ecstasy swept him up and dropped him down again, left him shaking, weak-kneed, and sagging against the transsteel. He eased his grip on Blurr’s helm, vision wobbly, his leg gently guided back to the floor.
And then Blurr was there, cradling his face, kissing him again, tasting of Starscream’s lubricants. Starscream moaned into the kiss, clutching at Blurr’s side, dragging him close, pressing their frames together. His lines thrummed, spark spinning rapidly in his chassis. He felt like he were floating, drowning in the gentle presses of Blurr’s lips to his.
“Berth now?” Blurr murmured.
Starscream made an incoherent noise. “Hmm?”
“Well, I can’t carry you sadly,” Blurr said and rubbed their nasal ridges together. “But it would be better to continue this in a berth.”
“Continue?” He sounded like an idiot, he knew he did. But his comprehension had gone out the window the moment Blurr apologized.
He still wasn’t convinced that he was online and aware.
“Mm hmm.” Blurr hummed and nibbled along the curve of his jaw. “I want to press you down to the berth and slide into you slowly, savor every inch of that pretty valve you have.”
Starscream, embarrassingly, whimpered. His valve clenched down at the thought, more lubricant slicking his thighs.
Blurr kissed him again, and Starscream lost himself to the heat of it, the slow touch of their glossas, the repeated brush of his lips. The berthroom was too far away, but the lure of the comfort of a berth prompted him into motion. Seeing Blurr’s limp was all the motivation he needed to move faster.
He forced himself to pull away, to stumble toward the berthroom, his vision a blur of colors.
When was the last time you recharged, he asked himself, and he couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter.
Blurr cornered him against the berth again, burying him in kisses. And Starscream moaned into them, clutching at Blurr, enjoying the warmth of their plating pressed together. He swore he could feel the frenetic whirl of Blurr’s spark despite the armor separating them, and knew his own echoed it.
“On the berth for me?” Blurr asked against his lips, his fingers stroking a delicate pattern down the back of Starscream’s wings, making him shiver.
Starscream worked his intake. He nodded, unable to manage words, and hoisted himself onto the padded surface. His spark throbbed, desire swirling like a mad vortex inside of him. His valve clenched, desperate for stimulation. Starscream automatically moved to hands and knees.
Blurr’s hands landed on his hips, exerting a careful pressure. “No,” he said as he urged Starscream to roll over, to arrange his wings so that he could lay on his back. “I want to see your face.”
He nudged his way between Starscream’s thighs, not that Starscream didn’t open for him. His hands held Starscream’s hips, smoothed down the outside of his thighs, tickled at the back of his knees. Starscream hummed deep in his intake, a shiver working down his spinal strut.
“Why?” Starscream asked, and instantly regretted the question, because it revealed more than he ever wanted to disclose.
Blurr paused and looked at him, something flicking across his face. He leaned forward, hands bracing themselves to either side of Starscream’s helm, his face hovering over Starscream’s.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, so simply, so frankly. “And I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.”
Starscream’s face heated. “I don’t think--”
“If you’re still thinking, I’m not doing my job right,” Blurr said with a little laugh. He pressed their forehelms together, and one by one, his hands sought out Starscream’s, tangling their fingers together. “So let me say it again, while you’re paying attention.”
Starscream’s thighs tightened against Blurr’s, the heat of Blurr’s panels pressed to his array like a promise. “You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do.” Blurr squeezed Starscream’s hands. “I’m sorry.”
Starscream worked his intake. “I accept your apology.”
“Mmm. Good.” Blurr rocked against him, his panel rubbing against Starscream’s external nodes. “I want to spike you now. Any objections to that?”
Starscream moaned, a coil tightening in his abdomen. He hooked his legs around Blurr’s waist, drawing the Racer tightly against him. “None.”
Blurr’s panels popped, and Starscream felt the wet brush of a spike against his inner thigh, nudging over his valve rim. He moaned, thighs trembling against Blurr’s hips. His helm tilted back against the berth as Blurr’s mouth descended to his intake, kissing and nibbling the sensitive cables there.
Blurr rocked his hips achingly slow, and his spike bobbed against Starscream’s swollen rim before the head finally caught. He pushed inside, a slow, savoring thrust that lit up Starscream’s internal nodes one by one.
Starscream’s backstrut arched, his hands squeezing Blurr’s, as he urged Blurr inside him, his calipers clutching at Blurr’s spike and trying to pull him deeper. His frame shook, heat cascading through his lines in a steady wave of need.
He waited. He expected Blurr to start fragging him in earnest now, pushing him deeper and deeper into the berth, his hands possessive and gripping.
Instead, Blurr’s mouth dragged back to his in another lingering kiss. They exchanged heated intakes, Blurr’s lips brushing over his. It was less a kiss, and better an embrace. He pushed into Starscream in slow, steady thrusts, spike dragging continuously over Starscream’s internal nodes.
Pleasure unfurled within Starscream like the ecstasy of a first transformation after weeks spent aberth. Like soaring high into the sky, spinning toward the stars. Starscream’s hands twitched against Blurr’s, trying to pull free, even as he turned his helm away from Blurr.
The pleasure, he knew, had to be written into his face. As did the need. He could feel the heat, the desperation of it, and he didn’t want Blurr to see him like that.
But Blurr’s grip on him was firm. Starscream’s hands were pinned to the berth. His entire frame was blanketed with Blurr’s, helpless to the pleasure Blurr built within him in steady waves. His thrusts never increased, only continued that steady drag against Starscream’s nodes, which spat charge back at Blurr’s spike.
Blurr peppered kisses over Starscream’s face, each of them feeling like the tiniest of promises.
Starscream’s spark ached. He trembled, vents sucking in desperate draughts of cooler air. The ecstasy spooled inside of him, knotting tighter and tighter. It wasn’t a frantic scrabble toward overload. It was completely out of his control.
Starscream whimpered, until Blurr’s lips caught his in a brief, gentle kiss. He pressed their forehelms together, his lips hovering over Starscream’s, but his gaze focused on Starscream’s. Their optics locked, and heat flooded Starscream’s face.
“I know you’re close,” Blurr murmured as he pushed deeper into Starscream, grinding against his ceiling node. His fingers flexed around Starscream’s. “I want to see you overload.”
Starscream worked his intake. He wanted to look away, but he felt trapped by the honesty in Blurr’s optics, and the affection in his field. Genuine affection.
He wanted to think this was all some game, some plan of Blurr’s to have Starscream under his thumb. But if Blurr was acting, he was a damn good one. There was sincerity in his words, in his actions, and it was intoxicating.
Starscream’s spark spun tighter, matching the pleasure that built and built and built in his frame. His ventilations caught and held, vibrating his frame.
“Come on,” Blurr purred, grinding deep into Starscream, their frames locked together, his hands squeezing. “Overload, Star. Sing for me.”
And he did.
The keen that rose in his vocalizer had no words, and the overload that swept over him was less an assault of ecstasy, and more a suffusing wave of rapture that carried him away. He trembled and shook, valve spasming and tightening on Blurr’s spike, his backstrut arching. His thighs clamped around Blurr’s hip as though desperate to keep Blurr within him, as he shook and shook and shook.
Blurr’s lips closed over his, swallowing the rest of the embarrassing noises, and Starscream was grateful for that. His optics shuttered and he sank into the berth, sank into the pleasure the overload offered.
The hot splatter of Blurr’s transfluid within him, washing over his nodes, sent Starscream into a second, smaller overload. He clamped down on Blurr, held him close, their frames moving together in tiny motions of metal shifting against metal, until the tension flooded out of Starscream’s cables, leaving him a limp mass against the berth.
He panted for ventilation, his vision fuzzy, his audials striped with static.
Blurr nuzzled his face, and he let Starscream’s hands go, giving him rein to wrap his arms around Blurr and keep the Racer pinned against him.
“I’m sorry,” Blurr murmured, again. His field was an embrace, wrapping around Starscream, soaked in guilt, apology, and affection.
Starscream’s spark fluttered. “I know.”
****
a/n: Feedback is welcome and appreciated. This entry was originally posted at http://dracoqueen22.dreamwidth.org/358146.html. Feel free to comment wherever you find most convenient.