[G1] Apple a Day 18 - Personal Experience
a/n: Update time! This particular chapter is SFW.
Title: Personal Experience
Universe: G1, Apple a Day 'verse
Characters: Tracks, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker
Rating: K+
Warning: None really
Description: Tracks offers a flustered pair of twins some advice regarding Courtship.
For Skywinder's March? flash fiction prompt: G1, Tracks and Sideswipe, Gen, courting
He watches Sideswipe from across the room, more than a little amused by the defeated slump of the red twin's shoulders. He's slouched over the table, helm buried in his folded arms, low groans rising up from the cocoon of his armor braces.
Sunstreaker smirks as he sits nearby, occasionally reading aloud from a datapad that Tracks suspects is the Idiot's Guide to Courting Ironhide had given them.
Poor Sideswipe, all the rules must be driving him crazy. Though Sunstreaker doesn't seem to mind. Tracks wonders if they've gotten to the exclusivity stage yet. He wonders if Ratchet is just devious enough to make them Alpha standard. For two mechs with a healthy interfacing drive, it would be torture.
Tracks chuckles and takes another sip of his energon. Sideswipe looks so lost. Maybe he ought to wander over there and offer some advice. After all, it's in the best interest of his bank accounts to help the underdog.
Tracks rises from his table and crosses the refectory, pulling open a chair at the Twins' table and inviting himself. Sideswipe doesn't so much as look up but Sunstreaker blinks at him.
“Can we help you?”
“Actually, I might be able to help you,” Tracks says with a gesture toward the datapad. “I know a little something about the topic at hand.”
Sunstreaker's lip curves in a smirk. “Is that so?”
“Can he tell us why Ratchet is torturing us?” Sideswipe demands from the protection of his arms. And there's a bit of a tetchy whine to his vocals, too.
Tracks chuckles. “Suitor's prerogative.” He sips at his cube. “It's a way to gauge the courted's interest.”
One blue optic peeks at him from behind the safety of a red arm. “You mean drive us crazy.”
“It was a common practice. You're too young to understand,” Tracks replies, though it's an odd thing to consider. As long-lived as Cybertronians are, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are still pretty young.
Go, Ratchet. Not quite robbing the cradle, to put it in human terms, but he's pretty spry for an old mech. Tracks is rather proud of his audacity. Then again, Ratchet never has been one to quail in the face of a challenge.
“I get it,” Sunstreaker retorts with an offended air. “It's that one who doesn't.” He pins his brother with something like a glare.
“What's to get?” Sideswipe pops up like a Spring daisy, chair screeching beneath him. He fixes Sunstreaker with narrowed optics. “It's all a big joke.”
Tracks revs his engine. “It is not a joke,” he says, and there's a sharpness to his tone he hadn't intended. “It is many things, Sideswipe, but courting is not a joke.” This whole situation is amusing, to a certain extent, and it's nice to see Sideswipe floundering for once, but Sunstreaker does seem to be the only one giving it the serious attention it deserves.
Sideswipe cycles his optics. Sunstreaker tilts his helm, giving Tracks a thoughtful look. He sets the datapad down, though he keeps a hand on it.
“You have experience?” Sunstreaker asks.
“I've been courted,” Tracks says, allowing himself a sly smile. He's about to blow their minds with shock. Though he's tempted to keep the identity of his bond to himself.
“You have?” Sideswipe's optics widen. “What happened?”
“There's really only two outcomes, Sides,” Tracks says and he leans forward, lowering his vocal tones. “Either a bond or a separation of ways.”
“And?” Sideswipe prompts.
Tracks smirks and lets himself lean back against his chair. “Now that would be telling. But I can reassure you, if Ratchet is courting you, it's because he's serious. No one would initiate the courting process for a joke.”
“A bond?” Sunstreaker repeats and he's staring at Tracks hard before his gaze travels back to his datapad. “Ratchet wants to... bond?”
Tracks rolls his shoulders. “Probably. The courting process is designed so that either party can withdraw but if he initiated it, then it's likely that yes, that is his desire.”
The Twins exchange glances as though this outcome had never occurred to them. Not that Tracks can fault their shock. The two idiots had probably never noticed how long Ratchet had been pining after them. Then again, it would have taken a keen observer to notice and while neither Twin is dumb, they aren't as observant when it comes to matters of the spark.
Then again, Tracks had been as blind when it came to his own sparkmate, all those millennia ago.
And then Sideswipe looks at Tracks with a tilt of his helm. “Wait. Does that mean you're bonded?” he asks and then he looks all around the refectory as though Tracks' sparkmate is going to jump out from beneath a table to scare him.
Which is an amusing mental image. So unlikely as to be impossible, but still, amusing.
“Yes,” Tracks answers.
“To an Autobot?” Sunstreaker asks, leaning forward and bracing his weight against the table.
Tracks grins and lets that answer speak for itself.
Sideswipe's jaw drops. “But you...?”
“Have a non-exclusivity clause,” Tracks supplies. He's quite sure they haven't gotten that far in their reading. “The humans would call it an open relationship. My spark belongs to him, but I can share my frame as I please.”
Sunstreaker leans harder against the table. “Who?”
Is this how Sideswipe feels when he's plotting a particularly hilarious prank? Because Tracks' amusement grows as he debates telling them or letting them wonder. But he supposes they'll understand better if he gives them a name.
“Ultra Magnus.”
They blink at him.
“Wait,” Sideswipe says, holding up a hand. “Optimus' brother, Ultra Magnus? The very same mech who'd been leading the offensive on Luna-1 while we were stuck in stasis. That Ultra Magnus?”
“One and the same.”
They blink at him again, and then in a startling unison they rarely show, “How?”
Tracks' smile widens. “He wasn't always Ultra Magnus,” he says but then he shakes his helm, trying to get them back on track. “The point I'm trying to get at is this, courting is serious but it doesn't have to be restrictive. It's just a method to identify potential mates, not unlike the way humans date, only there are rules to follow. It protects everyone involved.”
“And it's romantic,” Sunstreaker says and then his optics widen and his faceplates heat, as though he hadn't meant to let so much slip.
“Yes,” Tracks agrees, choosing not to tease Sunstreaker for the slip. After all, Sideswipe would snark back. Sunstreaker likes to respond with a fist to the face. “It's considered very romantic. You two are lucky.”
They exchange glances. Sunstreaker drags his datapad a little closer as though it contains the secrets of the universe.
Good. Tracks hopes they understand now.
He pushes to his pedes. “If you have any questions about the courtship process, I'll be happy to answer them. At least better than Ironhide will.” The Prime's bodyguard is getting far too much entertainment out of the whole process.
Pah. Ironhide and Optimus never courted. While Ultra Magnus had reveled in the courtship process, Optimus hadn't bothered with Ironhide. They'd fallen into berth together and never climbed back out. They aren't even spark bound! The indecency!
Tracks leaves them to their energon and their datapad and judging by the looks between them, their internal conversation. No doubt they'll be seeking him out in the future, for clarification if nothing else. They've passed the first, casual stages of courtship. It only gets more complicated from here. But also? Lots and lots more fun.
Tracks smiles to himself, thinking of his own courtship. It had been the stuff romance vids were born from. He'd met Ultra Magnus - then Dion - while slumming it on the docks and some uncouth slagger had knocked Dion into him, spilling high grade everywhere, including on Tracks' recently polished frame. Numerous apologies and flustered attempts at cleaning later and Tracks had been utterly charmed. He hadn't even intended to insist on courtship procedure but Dion wanted it and the clear-cut guidelines.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Tracks touches a hand to his chestplate, the pulse of his spark beneath and the distant fuzz of Ultra Magnus within. He hasn't spoken to his sparkmate since before the Ark crashed - Soundwave makes such personal communication unwise - but they are aware of each other. There will come a day when they can reunite.
Tracks looks forward to it. But until then, he supposes he can help Ratchet find his own touch of happiness, even if it means snagging the Twins.
***
a/n: Crack pairing is crack. But then, this series is full of 'em. :D As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated. I've got one more chapter of this written and waiting to be edited and then I have to get back on the ball and get to writing.
Thanks for reading!
This entry was originally posted at http://dracoqueen22.dreamwidth.org/294633.html. Feel free to comment wherever you find most convenient.
Title: Personal Experience
Universe: G1, Apple a Day 'verse
Characters: Tracks, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker
Rating: K+
Warning: None really
Description: Tracks offers a flustered pair of twins some advice regarding Courtship.
For Skywinder's March? flash fiction prompt: G1, Tracks and Sideswipe, Gen, courting
He watches Sideswipe from across the room, more than a little amused by the defeated slump of the red twin's shoulders. He's slouched over the table, helm buried in his folded arms, low groans rising up from the cocoon of his armor braces.
Sunstreaker smirks as he sits nearby, occasionally reading aloud from a datapad that Tracks suspects is the Idiot's Guide to Courting Ironhide had given them.
Poor Sideswipe, all the rules must be driving him crazy. Though Sunstreaker doesn't seem to mind. Tracks wonders if they've gotten to the exclusivity stage yet. He wonders if Ratchet is just devious enough to make them Alpha standard. For two mechs with a healthy interfacing drive, it would be torture.
Tracks chuckles and takes another sip of his energon. Sideswipe looks so lost. Maybe he ought to wander over there and offer some advice. After all, it's in the best interest of his bank accounts to help the underdog.
Tracks rises from his table and crosses the refectory, pulling open a chair at the Twins' table and inviting himself. Sideswipe doesn't so much as look up but Sunstreaker blinks at him.
“Can we help you?”
“Actually, I might be able to help you,” Tracks says with a gesture toward the datapad. “I know a little something about the topic at hand.”
Sunstreaker's lip curves in a smirk. “Is that so?”
“Can he tell us why Ratchet is torturing us?” Sideswipe demands from the protection of his arms. And there's a bit of a tetchy whine to his vocals, too.
Tracks chuckles. “Suitor's prerogative.” He sips at his cube. “It's a way to gauge the courted's interest.”
One blue optic peeks at him from behind the safety of a red arm. “You mean drive us crazy.”
“It was a common practice. You're too young to understand,” Tracks replies, though it's an odd thing to consider. As long-lived as Cybertronians are, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are still pretty young.
Go, Ratchet. Not quite robbing the cradle, to put it in human terms, but he's pretty spry for an old mech. Tracks is rather proud of his audacity. Then again, Ratchet never has been one to quail in the face of a challenge.
“I get it,” Sunstreaker retorts with an offended air. “It's that one who doesn't.” He pins his brother with something like a glare.
“What's to get?” Sideswipe pops up like a Spring daisy, chair screeching beneath him. He fixes Sunstreaker with narrowed optics. “It's all a big joke.”
Tracks revs his engine. “It is not a joke,” he says, and there's a sharpness to his tone he hadn't intended. “It is many things, Sideswipe, but courting is not a joke.” This whole situation is amusing, to a certain extent, and it's nice to see Sideswipe floundering for once, but Sunstreaker does seem to be the only one giving it the serious attention it deserves.
Sideswipe cycles his optics. Sunstreaker tilts his helm, giving Tracks a thoughtful look. He sets the datapad down, though he keeps a hand on it.
“You have experience?” Sunstreaker asks.
“I've been courted,” Tracks says, allowing himself a sly smile. He's about to blow their minds with shock. Though he's tempted to keep the identity of his bond to himself.
“You have?” Sideswipe's optics widen. “What happened?”
“There's really only two outcomes, Sides,” Tracks says and he leans forward, lowering his vocal tones. “Either a bond or a separation of ways.”
“And?” Sideswipe prompts.
Tracks smirks and lets himself lean back against his chair. “Now that would be telling. But I can reassure you, if Ratchet is courting you, it's because he's serious. No one would initiate the courting process for a joke.”
“A bond?” Sunstreaker repeats and he's staring at Tracks hard before his gaze travels back to his datapad. “Ratchet wants to... bond?”
Tracks rolls his shoulders. “Probably. The courting process is designed so that either party can withdraw but if he initiated it, then it's likely that yes, that is his desire.”
The Twins exchange glances as though this outcome had never occurred to them. Not that Tracks can fault their shock. The two idiots had probably never noticed how long Ratchet had been pining after them. Then again, it would have taken a keen observer to notice and while neither Twin is dumb, they aren't as observant when it comes to matters of the spark.
Then again, Tracks had been as blind when it came to his own sparkmate, all those millennia ago.
And then Sideswipe looks at Tracks with a tilt of his helm. “Wait. Does that mean you're bonded?” he asks and then he looks all around the refectory as though Tracks' sparkmate is going to jump out from beneath a table to scare him.
Which is an amusing mental image. So unlikely as to be impossible, but still, amusing.
“Yes,” Tracks answers.
“To an Autobot?” Sunstreaker asks, leaning forward and bracing his weight against the table.
Tracks grins and lets that answer speak for itself.
Sideswipe's jaw drops. “But you...?”
“Have a non-exclusivity clause,” Tracks supplies. He's quite sure they haven't gotten that far in their reading. “The humans would call it an open relationship. My spark belongs to him, but I can share my frame as I please.”
Sunstreaker leans harder against the table. “Who?”
Is this how Sideswipe feels when he's plotting a particularly hilarious prank? Because Tracks' amusement grows as he debates telling them or letting them wonder. But he supposes they'll understand better if he gives them a name.
“Ultra Magnus.”
They blink at him.
“Wait,” Sideswipe says, holding up a hand. “Optimus' brother, Ultra Magnus? The very same mech who'd been leading the offensive on Luna-1 while we were stuck in stasis. That Ultra Magnus?”
“One and the same.”
They blink at him again, and then in a startling unison they rarely show, “How?”
Tracks' smile widens. “He wasn't always Ultra Magnus,” he says but then he shakes his helm, trying to get them back on track. “The point I'm trying to get at is this, courting is serious but it doesn't have to be restrictive. It's just a method to identify potential mates, not unlike the way humans date, only there are rules to follow. It protects everyone involved.”
“And it's romantic,” Sunstreaker says and then his optics widen and his faceplates heat, as though he hadn't meant to let so much slip.
“Yes,” Tracks agrees, choosing not to tease Sunstreaker for the slip. After all, Sideswipe would snark back. Sunstreaker likes to respond with a fist to the face. “It's considered very romantic. You two are lucky.”
They exchange glances. Sunstreaker drags his datapad a little closer as though it contains the secrets of the universe.
Good. Tracks hopes they understand now.
He pushes to his pedes. “If you have any questions about the courtship process, I'll be happy to answer them. At least better than Ironhide will.” The Prime's bodyguard is getting far too much entertainment out of the whole process.
Pah. Ironhide and Optimus never courted. While Ultra Magnus had reveled in the courtship process, Optimus hadn't bothered with Ironhide. They'd fallen into berth together and never climbed back out. They aren't even spark bound! The indecency!
Tracks leaves them to their energon and their datapad and judging by the looks between them, their internal conversation. No doubt they'll be seeking him out in the future, for clarification if nothing else. They've passed the first, casual stages of courtship. It only gets more complicated from here. But also? Lots and lots more fun.
Tracks smiles to himself, thinking of his own courtship. It had been the stuff romance vids were born from. He'd met Ultra Magnus - then Dion - while slumming it on the docks and some uncouth slagger had knocked Dion into him, spilling high grade everywhere, including on Tracks' recently polished frame. Numerous apologies and flustered attempts at cleaning later and Tracks had been utterly charmed. He hadn't even intended to insist on courtship procedure but Dion wanted it and the clear-cut guidelines.
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Tracks touches a hand to his chestplate, the pulse of his spark beneath and the distant fuzz of Ultra Magnus within. He hasn't spoken to his sparkmate since before the Ark crashed - Soundwave makes such personal communication unwise - but they are aware of each other. There will come a day when they can reunite.
Tracks looks forward to it. But until then, he supposes he can help Ratchet find his own touch of happiness, even if it means snagging the Twins.
***
a/n: Crack pairing is crack. But then, this series is full of 'em. :D As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated. I've got one more chapter of this written and waiting to be edited and then I have to get back on the ball and get to writing.
Thanks for reading!
This entry was originally posted at http://dracoqueen22.dreamwidth.org/294633.html. Feel free to comment wherever you find most convenient.