The tale of how Drac got her WR printed.
The tale of how Drac got her WR printed.
(Or: How many aprostrophes can one insert in a piece of writing.)
(Or: How many spelling liberties can be taken at 2am in the morning.)
T'was a cool night in Septyber...
Drac finished her thirty-eight, yes, THIRTY-EIGHT page written report in the wee haw'ers o the morn'in, ta, t'was around one am or thereabouts. Then, as her had moved haus not two weeks afore, she'd misplace, ta, MISPLACED her import cy'n inkjet cartrdige. And lo, her brand noo printer flat awut refused t'work, so sh'd had to journey to her wee brothar's room to get her report printed.
And lo, her brother's computer fair died, aye, DIED on her the first time sh'd tried t'open it in mikrosoft werd. And see, the poor lass had to wait while her bruther natty c'mputer rebooted. And lo, she sat there on the cauld floor whilst the printer printed out her thirty-eight, yea, THIRTY-EIGHT page writt'n r'port. And she sat there for twenty minutes, yes, TWENTY MINUTES while the bairn of a printer laybered out her writt'n r'port.
Then LO, the evil speck of her twee wee brother booted her out of his room. True, t'was nigh one thirty am, buut these thing H'PPEN, yes? True, t'was in the wee hours of the night, buut that ain't no reason t'boot some bairn outta yer room where she needs yer printer.
Yet, the fair Drac was e'r so silver tongue, and sh'd persuayed, yea, PERSUAYDED her evil brother to let her print her colour pages, for yea, no writt'n r'port sheed be wi'oot it's c'laar payges. So yea, she spent another FIFTEEN, yea, FIFTEEN minootes way'ting fer that danged prin'er to prin'.
Then the fair lass traveled up yet again, to seek aut her father's spankin' noo lay-sah prin'er. Now, this prin'er been fair considered a mistake, yea, a MISTAKE, the sorta mistake tha' okkers when yer let yer menfolk go to ComEx wi'oot the supervision of the wimmenfolk. And LO, her father's e'il c'mputer refused to read the poor bairn's thumbdrive.
Ooh, lack a day!
Yet, the bairn had a sudden, yea, SUDDEN flash of insp'ration, and she remembered her pr'jekt werks gmail account. And lo, she downloaded her evil two-bit nat o' a writt'n r'port, and lo, she could finally print it! Yea, then sh'd suddenly noticed that that ner-do-well of a sheep o' a pr'ject work teacher n'er asked her t' put the serial numbers of her group mates on! T'cher, PAH!
So w' a greayt di'play o' initiative, yea, INITIATIVE, she added the serial noo'bers on. And lo, the pa's magic, wee, MAGIC printer fair spat aut pages at the crack'ing rayte o' nigh a page per five second, yea, FIVE SECONDS. And Drac was fair o'er awed by this display o' teknical prowness. And yea, t' prin'ing fair finished in noo time at all, and the bairn could arrnge her e'ill r'port and try to get some sleep, for it was nigh 2.10 am by then, yea, TWO TEN AM.
Buut then sh'd though, ta, this woo'd make a great, yea, GREAT st'ry to tell on Ell Jay, and so he're y' have the tale o' how Drac got h'r e'ill writt'n r'port prin'ed.
The end.
--------------------
The above is clear proof that green tea is detrimental to one's mental health. XD Mine has fumes. Hoho.
(Or: How many aprostrophes can one insert in a piece of writing.)
(Or: How many spelling liberties can be taken at 2am in the morning.)
T'was a cool night in Septyber...
Drac finished her thirty-eight, yes, THIRTY-EIGHT page written report in the wee haw'ers o the morn'in, ta, t'was around one am or thereabouts. Then, as her had moved haus not two weeks afore, she'd misplace, ta, MISPLACED her import cy'n inkjet cartrdige. And lo, her brand noo printer flat awut refused t'work, so sh'd had to journey to her wee brothar's room to get her report printed.
And lo, her brother's computer fair died, aye, DIED on her the first time sh'd tried t'open it in mikrosoft werd. And see, the poor lass had to wait while her bruther natty c'mputer rebooted. And lo, she sat there on the cauld floor whilst the printer printed out her thirty-eight, yea, THIRTY-EIGHT page writt'n r'port. And she sat there for twenty minutes, yes, TWENTY MINUTES while the bairn of a printer laybered out her writt'n r'port.
Then LO, the evil speck of her twee wee brother booted her out of his room. True, t'was nigh one thirty am, buut these thing H'PPEN, yes? True, t'was in the wee hours of the night, buut that ain't no reason t'boot some bairn outta yer room where she needs yer printer.
Yet, the fair Drac was e'r so silver tongue, and sh'd persuayed, yea, PERSUAYDED her evil brother to let her print her colour pages, for yea, no writt'n r'port sheed be wi'oot it's c'laar payges. So yea, she spent another FIFTEEN, yea, FIFTEEN minootes way'ting fer that danged prin'er to prin'.
Then the fair lass traveled up yet again, to seek aut her father's spankin' noo lay-sah prin'er. Now, this prin'er been fair considered a mistake, yea, a MISTAKE, the sorta mistake tha' okkers when yer let yer menfolk go to ComEx wi'oot the supervision of the wimmenfolk. And LO, her father's e'il c'mputer refused to read the poor bairn's thumbdrive.
Ooh, lack a day!
Yet, the bairn had a sudden, yea, SUDDEN flash of insp'ration, and she remembered her pr'jekt werks gmail account. And lo, she downloaded her evil two-bit nat o' a writt'n r'port, and lo, she could finally print it! Yea, then sh'd suddenly noticed that that ner-do-well of a sheep o' a pr'ject work teacher n'er asked her t' put the serial numbers of her group mates on! T'cher, PAH!
So w' a greayt di'play o' initiative, yea, INITIATIVE, she added the serial noo'bers on. And lo, the pa's magic, wee, MAGIC printer fair spat aut pages at the crack'ing rayte o' nigh a page per five second, yea, FIVE SECONDS. And Drac was fair o'er awed by this display o' teknical prowness. And yea, t' prin'ing fair finished in noo time at all, and the bairn could arrnge her e'ill r'port and try to get some sleep, for it was nigh 2.10 am by then, yea, TWO TEN AM.
Buut then sh'd though, ta, this woo'd make a great, yea, GREAT st'ry to tell on Ell Jay, and so he're y' have the tale o' how Drac got h'r e'ill writt'n r'port prin'ed.
The end.
--------------------
The above is clear proof that green tea is detrimental to one's mental health. XD Mine has fumes. Hoho.