Baileys-crack!ficlet ~ 410 words
I blame roxy_palace... and the Baileys because I woke up with that crack-fic in my head and had to type it down. Last night I tweeted something with Baileys in it of course the Baileys' Bot RT:ed it. Then Roxy was discussing space ships and... stuff ;) Actually I don't blame her, I haven't written anything in a while so I'm happy this happened. Thank you, bb :D
Disclaimer: This is fiction! (Wait, what else should these things include?) Don't own, don't sue? Esp. not Mary Sue *nods* So maybe I put baileys in my coffee today... but don't worry I am not drunk, I am always like this. Still remember that time in High School when guy said to me & friends, you behave like normal people do when they are drunk. Wow, so how's that for a disclaimer? :P
Oh, and check out shiningartifact's fabulous icon-posts :D
Scene: Way’s Basement, Drunk!Gerard meets Baileys’ Bot.
“This Baileys tastes like crap when it’s warm. Why did I even drink it?” Gerard stares up blearily at the ceiling, as he is speaking. Of course, he knows why he did it, it was the only thing he had found he had left in his stash, and he doesn’t even remember where he got it. But it was there, so he drank it.
Suddenly there is a flash and soft thumping noise... something just appeared next to him in his basement. He blinks blearily, wondering if he is hallucinating (again). In the faint light, all he can see is the faint shine of metal. That's weird he thinks, but then he thinks: what if it’s not a hallucination? So, he decides it’s best to try and speak to it.
“Who are you? And why are you here?"
"I'm the Baileys’ Bot", the incarnation informs him solemnly, “and I’ve come because you summoned me.”
"The what?" then he shakes his head, his drunken hallucinations are always kind of weird, but this is something else, "Nevermind." His brain shifting gears in an instant, he can never focus on one thing for long when he is this drunk besides, the thing looks kind of hot, if you’re into that sort of a thing and he always wanted to know what it was like to… *
He sits up and looks at the Bot and before deciding on what his next line is he blurts out, "Do you come here often?" his hands flailing around a bit and his voice all earnest.
Fuck, no wonder his life sucks, he is chatting up a hallucination in his basement on a Friday evening and he just used THAT line.
"I come wherever and whenever I am summoned," The Bot intones.
Gerard blinks and seems to sober up a bit, "So you have no choice? At all?"
"No."
"That's awful man," Gerard gets up and hugs the bot. Who cares about flirting now, there’s someone whose life is so much worse than his is, he pets the bot’s back, "I'm so sorry you have an awful life."
"But I have no life; I have been programmed." The Bot speaks in monotone.
"Don't say that... that sounds even worse", Gerard sniffles into the Bot's neck.
"My statement was true and logical", the Bot murmurs sounding a bit confused.
Gerard pulls back and stares the Bot straigh in the eye,
"Fuck logic, come and have a drink with me."
****
*yes, what has Gerard always wondered about? ;) I leave that to your imagination.
… somehow I ended up adding 100 more words to it when I was editing it…okay, actually it was more like 200…
Disclaimer: This is fiction! (Wait, what else should these things include?) Don't own, don't sue? Esp. not Mary Sue *nods* So maybe I put baileys in my coffee today... but don't worry I am not drunk, I am always like this. Still remember that time in High School when guy said to me & friends, you behave like normal people do when they are drunk. Wow, so how's that for a disclaimer? :P
Oh, and check out shiningartifact's fabulous icon-posts :D
Scene: Way’s Basement, Drunk!Gerard meets Baileys’ Bot.
“This Baileys tastes like crap when it’s warm. Why did I even drink it?” Gerard stares up blearily at the ceiling, as he is speaking. Of course, he knows why he did it, it was the only thing he had found he had left in his stash, and he doesn’t even remember where he got it. But it was there, so he drank it.
Suddenly there is a flash and soft thumping noise... something just appeared next to him in his basement. He blinks blearily, wondering if he is hallucinating (again). In the faint light, all he can see is the faint shine of metal. That's weird he thinks, but then he thinks: what if it’s not a hallucination? So, he decides it’s best to try and speak to it.
“Who are you? And why are you here?"
"I'm the Baileys’ Bot", the incarnation informs him solemnly, “and I’ve come because you summoned me.”
"The what?" then he shakes his head, his drunken hallucinations are always kind of weird, but this is something else, "Nevermind." His brain shifting gears in an instant, he can never focus on one thing for long when he is this drunk besides, the thing looks kind of hot, if you’re into that sort of a thing and he always wanted to know what it was like to… *
He sits up and looks at the Bot and before deciding on what his next line is he blurts out, "Do you come here often?" his hands flailing around a bit and his voice all earnest.
Fuck, no wonder his life sucks, he is chatting up a hallucination in his basement on a Friday evening and he just used THAT line.
"I come wherever and whenever I am summoned," The Bot intones.
Gerard blinks and seems to sober up a bit, "So you have no choice? At all?"
"No."
"That's awful man," Gerard gets up and hugs the bot. Who cares about flirting now, there’s someone whose life is so much worse than his is, he pets the bot’s back, "I'm so sorry you have an awful life."
"But I have no life; I have been programmed." The Bot speaks in monotone.
"Don't say that... that sounds even worse", Gerard sniffles into the Bot's neck.
"My statement was true and logical", the Bot murmurs sounding a bit confused.
Gerard pulls back and stares the Bot straigh in the eye,
"Fuck logic, come and have a drink with me."
****
*yes, what has Gerard always wondered about? ;) I leave that to your imagination.
… somehow I ended up adding 100 more words to it when I was editing it…okay, actually it was more like 200…