Fic: "Substitute" Chapter 7

[dracomaleficium]

*drops a smokebomb* *runs awayyyyyy*

Title: "Substitute" chapter 7: Not Ready
Word Count: ... 11, 619 (holycrapnoI'mnotevenjoking)
Rating: R
Warnings: Language, underage drinking, VERY objectionable professionalism and sexual themes
Characters/Pairings: Lt.Jee/Zuko, Iroh, Ming
Summary:A 38-year-old former Navy officer currently trying to make a life as a

Comments

[errantknightess]

Late comment is late -__-"
So. For starters, I really like the shifting relationship dynamics in this chapter. Some rollercoaster you served here! One moment the guys are nearly clarifying most of their mess, and the next there's just more mess heading their way. Which is delicious, really; you setting your characters on such a bumpy road is what I like the most about his fic. It's natural, it's interesting, and it just makes one wonder what the hell happens next (not to mention the master-level trolling: with this frequency of Bad Life Decisions, we can never be 100% sure there's going to be a happy ending, regardless of what your, ekhm, intentions may be ;D).

That being said, I'll just repeat what I've told you earlier about the snogging scene: you needn't worry. It was all right. I liked Jee's reasoning throughout the entire chapter, and it somehow 'eased the blow' - I didn't expect such a scene to pop up so early, but it was rushed in a good way - it was rushed in context, hell, it was rushed in-universe! It acknowledged its own untimeliness, and that's what I find particularily interesting about its placement. You clever beast, you!
Let me also asy how much I loved the description of Zuko's room, with the way you splashed his personality all over the walls. You've managed to sum up the entire character in one interior. Whoa. Not to mention there's that specific atmosphere of poking about a stranger's private space, exploring his unknown sides, discomfort mingling with curiosity... You showed that very well, too.

Also, Ming. One hell of a woman! :D

[dracomaleficium]

GIRL! *glomps* Thank you so much for taking the time to comment after all! You must already know it means a whole lot, especially given my paranoid stressing over this chapter. I feel a bit guilty, though, I don't want you to feel like commenting on this thing is a chore :)

As always, your insight makes me extremely happy because you picked up on exactly the things I wanted people to pick up on - the conscious untimeliness was exactly what I wanted to emphasize, even with the title of the chapter (which may be disappointing to some people, but which is necessary). As I mentioned, I felt this scene to be essential in further character and plot development and hopefully the later chapters will establish that. Things will go on more smoothly now that both Jee and Zuko acknowledged and released some of that tension (while creating more of it at the same time) and realized a few important things.

And yay for Ming and Zuko's room! So glad you liked both those elements. I loved Ming in the series, she was one of those minor characters that popped up for a few seconds of screen time and already had wonderfully fleshed-out personalities (much like Jee himself, though he was lucky and got a few minutes instead of a few seconds) and somehow writing her is very easy and enjoyable.

What you said about the emotional rollercoaster, too, was really encouraging and just everything, and man, I just feel hyper-pumped and ready to work all over again and reassured in my creative choices, so once more, THANK YOU.