Bickering with Books
Title: Bickering with Books
Rating: R
Warning(s): Suggestions of bondage
Word Count: 1,030
Author’s notes: Written for dove_drabbles' January Prompt: Take Yourself and a Book To Lunch.
Summary: Draco and Harry bicker via books.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. This was written for fun, not profit.
“And what will we be having today, Monsieur?”
“That man’s head on a platter.”
“Pardonnez-moi?”
“I said surprise me.”
Draco dismissed the waiter with a terse gesture and went back to glaring daggers at the table dead ahead. Potter grinned cheekily and waggled his eyebrows, looking atrociously out of place at the high end café. He was sipping at his cappuccino- not unlike Draco. He had a book carelessly propped in one hand and he was making quite the show of reading it.
Ha! As if.
Draco scowled and went back to glaring at his own book. Granted, no Muggle author could ever match the likes of Goshawk or Whisp, but he couldn’t frequent a non magical establishment with Most Potente Potions tucked under his arm, could he? Of course, he could always spell the book to look different but lately, Draco tired of the effort. It was much easier to just read Muggle books instead. They were quaint, but oddly charming. And the lack of moving pictures helped him focus, something magical texts rarely afforded. All in all, Draco rather enjoyed these quiet afternoons when he could just take a book and himself out to lunch.
Or at least, he was until Potter butted in.
Draco raised his head and stole another look. Potter was staring intently at his book, seemingly caught up in his reading. As Draco watched, he nodded thoughtfully and turned the page.
That bare faced liar.
He was just waiting for the right moment, Draco was sure of it. His hands tightened around his copy of Flirting with Disaster - a kitschy, paperback romance he had only picked up to confirm his theory (and not at all because of the fit dark haired bloke on the cover).
Sure enough, he was right. Potter moved his book just a fraction and Draco skimmed the title.
Flirting with Potter ;)
Draco slammed his coffee cup on the table. Hard. A few patrons jumped but Potter didn’t even bother looking up. His lips twitched though, and Draco just knew the bastard was howling with laughter on the inside.
This was the ninth or tenth time he’d pulled this stunt.
The first time it happened, Draco assumed it was just a very unfortunate accident. What were the odds that Potter would walk into his café with a book? For that matter, what were the odds that Potter could read? No, it just had to be a coincidence. Therefore, Draco had done the sensible thing. He ignored the prat and went back to reading ‘Something Wicked This Way Comes’.
Potter responded by pulling out his own book and setting it on the table in full view of Draco.
And Damn, If It Doesn’t Have One Fine Arse.
Draco nearly choked on his coffee.
Surely, that didn’t...but how could he...wait, what?!
And so, it started.
Since that fateful day, Potter had made it his mission to challenge every one of Draco’s books with a ridiculous counterpart of his own making.
Draco read To Kill a Mockingbird. Potter read To Snag a Slytherin.
What Colour is Your Parachute? What Colour is Your Underwear?
Gone with the Wind. Wait, Are We Still Talking About Your Underwear?
This was the point where Draco started entertaining some very graphic murder fantasies. Nevertheless, he persevered, determined not to let Potter’s absurd antics scare him off.
Moby Dick. Ooh, Now We’re Talking!
Journey to the End of the Night. Okay, But You Have to Buy Me Dinner First.
And of course, there was the one that got the dubious distinction of first place in Potter’s one-sided War against the Classics. Draco would never be able to finish Crime and Punishment after seeing Potter snickering through A How to Guide for the Exciting World of Bondage.
But those days were over because Draco was drawing the line. Enough was enough. Potter had ruined books Draco didn’t even know existed and it ended here and now. He was going to confront the prat and figure out his end game.
So, Draco squared his shoulders, marched over to Potter’s table and slammed his fist down on it, demanding an immediate response.
“Afternoon, Malfoy,” Potter greeted. “I didn’t see you there.”
Draco’s eye twitched. “What are you doing?” he hissed. “More importantly, why are you doing it?”
Potter’s brow furrowed and he batted his lashes all too innocently. “What? Can’t a bloke just take a book out to lunch without getting accosted?”
The eye twitch returned with a vengeance. Draco’s was starting to see red at the edges of his vision. “You,” he managed to sputter. “I don’t know what you think you’re playing at, Potter but I am telling you right now...”
“But since you’re here,” Potter cut in, glibly sliding a chair out. “Care to join me?”
Draco trailed off and gaped soundlessly, somewhat thrown by Potter’s confident grin. “Come on,” he cajoled, patting the seat. “We can read together.”
“What makes you...I don’t want to...why would you even think that...”
Potter cut him off with an exaggerated sigh. “You’re the one who marched up here to bother me, Malfoy. Remember?”
“You...I...no, wait...”
“Exactly,” Potter declared firmly. “So sit down. I’m on Chapter Six of Flirting with Potter. It’s a real page turner.”
Draco blinked, but finally he took a seat next to Potter. This wasn’t exactly familiar territory. “That’s not a real book,” he argued weakly.
It couldn’t be.
Right?
Potter grinned and leaned closer. “If you like,” he whispered, “we can always read A How to Guide for the Exciting World of Bondage together.”
Draco flushed furiously. Colour flew to his cheeks and Potter’s eyes flashed with appreciation. The sight was both arousing and annoying and Draco straightened his shoulders again, determined to beat Potter at his own stupid game.
“Okay,” he replied coolly. “But you have to buy me dinner first.”
And if Potter’s resulting grin made it seem like this was what he’d planned all along, it meant nothing. Draco was the victor this time. He had called Potter out on his game and therefore, he had won- proving once and for all that there was nothing Potter could do to get one up on him.
Right?
Rating: R
Warning(s): Suggestions of bondage
Word Count: 1,030
Author’s notes: Written for dove_drabbles' January Prompt: Take Yourself and a Book To Lunch.
Summary: Draco and Harry bicker via books.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. This was written for fun, not profit.
“And what will we be having today, Monsieur?”
“That man’s head on a platter.”
“Pardonnez-moi?”
“I said surprise me.”
Draco dismissed the waiter with a terse gesture and went back to glaring daggers at the table dead ahead. Potter grinned cheekily and waggled his eyebrows, looking atrociously out of place at the high end café. He was sipping at his cappuccino- not unlike Draco. He had a book carelessly propped in one hand and he was making quite the show of reading it.
Ha! As if.
Draco scowled and went back to glaring at his own book. Granted, no Muggle author could ever match the likes of Goshawk or Whisp, but he couldn’t frequent a non magical establishment with Most Potente Potions tucked under his arm, could he? Of course, he could always spell the book to look different but lately, Draco tired of the effort. It was much easier to just read Muggle books instead. They were quaint, but oddly charming. And the lack of moving pictures helped him focus, something magical texts rarely afforded. All in all, Draco rather enjoyed these quiet afternoons when he could just take a book and himself out to lunch.
Or at least, he was until Potter butted in.
Draco raised his head and stole another look. Potter was staring intently at his book, seemingly caught up in his reading. As Draco watched, he nodded thoughtfully and turned the page.
That bare faced liar.
He was just waiting for the right moment, Draco was sure of it. His hands tightened around his copy of Flirting with Disaster - a kitschy, paperback romance he had only picked up to confirm his theory (and not at all because of the fit dark haired bloke on the cover).
Sure enough, he was right. Potter moved his book just a fraction and Draco skimmed the title.
Flirting with Potter ;)
Draco slammed his coffee cup on the table. Hard. A few patrons jumped but Potter didn’t even bother looking up. His lips twitched though, and Draco just knew the bastard was howling with laughter on the inside.
This was the ninth or tenth time he’d pulled this stunt.
The first time it happened, Draco assumed it was just a very unfortunate accident. What were the odds that Potter would walk into his café with a book? For that matter, what were the odds that Potter could read? No, it just had to be a coincidence. Therefore, Draco had done the sensible thing. He ignored the prat and went back to reading ‘Something Wicked This Way Comes’.
Potter responded by pulling out his own book and setting it on the table in full view of Draco.
And Damn, If It Doesn’t Have One Fine Arse.
Draco nearly choked on his coffee.
Surely, that didn’t...but how could he...wait, what?!
And so, it started.
Since that fateful day, Potter had made it his mission to challenge every one of Draco’s books with a ridiculous counterpart of his own making.
Draco read To Kill a Mockingbird. Potter read To Snag a Slytherin.
What Colour is Your Parachute? What Colour is Your Underwear?
Gone with the Wind. Wait, Are We Still Talking About Your Underwear?
This was the point where Draco started entertaining some very graphic murder fantasies. Nevertheless, he persevered, determined not to let Potter’s absurd antics scare him off.
Moby Dick. Ooh, Now We’re Talking!
Journey to the End of the Night. Okay, But You Have to Buy Me Dinner First.
And of course, there was the one that got the dubious distinction of first place in Potter’s one-sided War against the Classics. Draco would never be able to finish Crime and Punishment after seeing Potter snickering through A How to Guide for the Exciting World of Bondage.
But those days were over because Draco was drawing the line. Enough was enough. Potter had ruined books Draco didn’t even know existed and it ended here and now. He was going to confront the prat and figure out his end game.
So, Draco squared his shoulders, marched over to Potter’s table and slammed his fist down on it, demanding an immediate response.
“Afternoon, Malfoy,” Potter greeted. “I didn’t see you there.”
Draco’s eye twitched. “What are you doing?” he hissed. “More importantly, why are you doing it?”
Potter’s brow furrowed and he batted his lashes all too innocently. “What? Can’t a bloke just take a book out to lunch without getting accosted?”
The eye twitch returned with a vengeance. Draco’s was starting to see red at the edges of his vision. “You,” he managed to sputter. “I don’t know what you think you’re playing at, Potter but I am telling you right now...”
“But since you’re here,” Potter cut in, glibly sliding a chair out. “Care to join me?”
Draco trailed off and gaped soundlessly, somewhat thrown by Potter’s confident grin. “Come on,” he cajoled, patting the seat. “We can read together.”
“What makes you...I don’t want to...why would you even think that...”
Potter cut him off with an exaggerated sigh. “You’re the one who marched up here to bother me, Malfoy. Remember?”
“You...I...no, wait...”
“Exactly,” Potter declared firmly. “So sit down. I’m on Chapter Six of Flirting with Potter. It’s a real page turner.”
Draco blinked, but finally he took a seat next to Potter. This wasn’t exactly familiar territory. “That’s not a real book,” he argued weakly.
It couldn’t be.
Right?
Potter grinned and leaned closer. “If you like,” he whispered, “we can always read A How to Guide for the Exciting World of Bondage together.”
Draco flushed furiously. Colour flew to his cheeks and Potter’s eyes flashed with appreciation. The sight was both arousing and annoying and Draco straightened his shoulders again, determined to beat Potter at his own stupid game.
“Okay,” he replied coolly. “But you have to buy me dinner first.”
And if Potter’s resulting grin made it seem like this was what he’d planned all along, it meant nothing. Draco was the victor this time. He had called Potter out on his game and therefore, he had won- proving once and for all that there was nothing Potter could do to get one up on him.
Right?