My RarePair Short Fic: Sirius/Draco
Reveals posted at rarepair_shorts. This was my entry:
Title: The Storm
Recipient: deathlydragon
Pairing: Sirius/Draco
Rating: G
Word Count: 1,724
Warnings: Obviously not Harry/Draco, angst
Summary: The storm rages, reminding him of all he’s lost but Sirius finds something worth saving,
Author's Notes: Beta-ed by the lovely slashedsilver. Prompts used: weather, unwilling saviour and hurt/comfort.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. This was written for fun, not profit.
The storms get worse every night. Sirius winces as a flash of lightning brightens his bedroom in a disturbing parody of daylight. The deafening clap of thunder is expected but makes him wince nonetheless. He muffles a curse and bunches up the covers again, trying to ignore the howling wind and the rattling windows. It doesn’t work. The storm comes anyway, taking away any chance of peace and quiet tonight.
In the flashes of lightning, he’s able to pick out the details of the room. His old Gryffindor banners are still holding strong under the Sticking Charms he cast oh, about a thousand years ago. He can still make out the fading scorch marks from Mother’s countless Incendios. Sirius can’t help but smirk. He’s been through two wars and Azkaban but memories of Walburga’s impotent shrieks of rage still send a vicious, petty thrill through him.
Sometimes, he almost misses those long gone days of his youth. No, really. It was so easy being the black sheep of the Noble House of Black, wasn’t it? It was all there in black and white, pun intended. No shades of gray, no messed up priorities- just a flying motorcycle he could ride off on, laughing as Walburga’s angry screeches faded away in the distance.
And now, here he is after all these years- stuck in Grimmauld Place again and this time, he can’t run away. There’s nothing to run from anymore. Walburga is gone. There’s nowhere to run to either. James, Remus and Lily are gone. But the war is still here and Sirius is still here, and sometimes he can’t help but wonder why he’s the last one left. Not brave James or steady Remus or kind, thoughtful Lily. No, it’s Sirius who’s been left behind to settle the score. Reckless, thoughtless Sirius Black who just wants to run off again and leave all of this behind- because really, that’s what he does best- and he can’t.
And as if that’s not bad enough, there’s the storm.
The thunder rolls in as if on cue and Sirius curses out loud this time. Because damn it, he doesn’t need more memories right now, and that’s all the blasted storms bring. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to think about the rain and the thunder and the skinny, grey eyed boy standing in his doorway twenty years ago.
Regulus.
It’s barely a whisper but Sirius can swear it echoes in the silence. And maybe names do have power because now the shadows are shifting and Regulus is there. Sirius can see him hovering uncertainly in the same doorway, five years old and scared of all the noise and wanting his older brother- the brother who would soon become a traitor and a failure and a scorch-mark on the family tapestry. But this Regulus is a child and he doesn’t know that Sirius is going to turn his back on him yet. All he knows is that Sirius is his big brother and he’ll protect him from the thunder and if he can just stay here for the night, it will all be better.
It all just comes flooding back with the storm. Regulus doesn’t leave him alone on nights like this. He keeps coming back, scared and lost in the storm, reminding Sirius of everything he didn’t do because he was too busy running away. His annoying, needy little brother grew up into a bitter, marked man and died alone on a night like this one because Sirius wasn’t there.
Was he afraid? Did he ask for Sirius when he was dying, wanting his brother to protect him just one more time? It’s the questions that won’t leave him be. He could have done something; he should have done something for Regulus. And now, twenty years later Sirius knows just when his world went from black and white to grey.
I shouldn’t have left you. I should have done something. I’m sorry.
But it’s too late for that now. Regulus is gone too. He’s been gone for years just like everyone else and now it’s Sirius, alone and afraid in the storm and he can’t help but admit he deserves it.
With a muttered curse, Sirius gets out of bed. He’s not going to get any sleep tonight. The floorboards creak under his feet as he creeps through the house. He makes his way down the hall, the only sounds of rain and quiet breathing of the rest of the residents. It’s a little odd having the house all to himself for once. Normally, Sirius can’t even walk down the stairs without tripping over a teenager, what with Harry and all the Weasleys and…well, others. The point is, Grimmauld Place hosts a motley crew these days- the likes of which would probably give his mother another heart attack. But in the dead of the night, there’s a rare silence in the old house. Sirius is alone with his ghosts again.
It’s not until he’s all the way downstairs that he realizes he’s not that alone after all.
Sirius staggers to a halt as he spots a flash of blond hair in the corner.
Draco is on the floor, leaning against a couch. He makes a slender silhouette, all long limbs and angles. Sirius nearly stumbles, he’s that surprised. But he collects himself. Draco hasn’t noticed him at all. He’s staring blankly into the storm, watching the rain with unfocused, grey eyes. His shoulders are slumped and his legs are splayed awkwardly. He looks exhausted.
“Draco?”
Almost immediately, Sirius regrets saying anything. He hadn’t intended to announce his presence. He doesn’t know why he did it. He could have just kept on walking. He bites back a curse as Draco turns to him. Now, he can see the dark circles under Draco’s eyes. Grey eyes, sharp features, pale skin. He thinks about how much Draco looks like another boy he knew once and suddenly he’s exhausted by all of it.
Why won’t Regulus just leave him alone? Why won’t they both leave him alone?
It’s not that he hates Draco. He doesn’t know the boy well enough to hate him. And what he knows, he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why Draco joined the Order, for instance. Or why he’s passing decent to Harry nowadays. And there are…other things. Like the fact that Sirius watches Draco almost constantly these days, and it’s not just because he wants to keep an eye on their newest Order Member. No, there’s just something…about the boy Sirius hasn’t quite figured out yet. Whatever it is, it’s making him restless and edgy. Sometimes he wishes Draco would just go away so he won’t have to find out.
Right now at least, Draco isn’t going anywhere. He looks up at Sirius, blinking slowly and rubbing his eyes. “Not doing anything,” he mumbles sullenly.
Sirius blinks, a bit taken aback at the sudden defensiveness. “I…didn’t say you were.” He wasn’t going to, either. But he still feels guilty somehow. Is he that obvious?
“You were thinking it.” Draco confirms his suspicions and curls against the couch again. He flinches at a loud clap of thunder and rubs his eyes viciously, scowling at Sirius again. “Can’t sleep in the stupid storm,” he explains sulkily- as if it’s Sirius’ fault somehow.
“Oh.” Sirius isn’t really sure what to say. Draco is never this forthcoming. Frankly, this is the longest conversation they’ve ever had. “Aren’t you a little old to be afraid of thunder?” he asks finally.
“I’m not afraid,” Draco snaps. He sighs and rests his head on his knees. It makes him look…younger somehow. More vulnerable. “Just…tired.”
“But you don’t want to sleep?”
“Go away, Black. I told you I’m not doing anything. I’m just…”
“I know that.” He means it too, because Draco is clearly not doing anything. He just can’t sleep. Sirius knows what that’s like. He knows it all too well. He takes a chance and slips to the floor to sit beside him. Draco stiffens but says nothing. He just stares at Sirius, eyes narrowed and body tensed- a study in defensiveness. In fact, no one is more surprised than Sirius when he speaks up again.
“It’s just hard,” he says quietly. “Being alone on nights like… this.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t.”
But Sirius does. He knows exactly how it is on nights like this. He knows what it’s like when the storm brings back all the shades of grey. He knows how it feels to go over every little last detail, wondering if it could have been any different if he had just said or done any of the things he didn’t say or do.
He knows what it is to be haunted. He wonders if it’s like that for Draco.
That, he doesn’t know. What he knows is that he’s tired, and there’s nowhere to run anymore. There’s just the storm and the rain and now, there’s Draco…tired and lost. Another boy with grey eyes standing in his doorway.
“Come on.”
Draco blinks at him with sleepy eyes. “Can’t sleep alone,” he murmurs, shaking his head and pulling away stubbornly. “I can’t.”
“You’re not going to be alone, Draco.”
Draco stops and blinks at him, looking confused and small and sleepy. Sirius hauls him up as gently as he can. Draco yawns and slumps against his shoulder, nuzzling in comfortably. “Where are we going?”
“To get some sleep,” Sirius replies, steering him up the stairs. He heaves a sigh of relief as Draco goes willingly.
Draco is half asleep by the time they get to Sirius’ room. He doesn’t move as Sirius hauls him on the bed. He doesn’t make a sound as Sirius tucks the blankets around him. And he doesn’t even stir when Sirius slips in beside him.
But sometime in the night, Sirius finds that Draco’s head is on his shoulder and a slim, pale arm is around his waist. The boy beside him sleeps like the dead, his breathing even and his body relaxed. The storm still rages outside, but for Sirius it’s a peaceful night. Draco’s head is a warm weight against his chest and it calms him somehow.
He wraps an arm around Draco and finally closes his eyes.
Regulus doesn’t come back that night, and Sirius sleeps through the storm.
**Cross-posted at rarepair_shorts here**