Erised
http://therithere.comicgenesis.com/d/20060717.html
this is the most striking image i have seen online...period. no other image has spoken so deeply to me, though some have come close. and so i wanted to strike up a discussion, one im sure everyone has seen already or if not has experienced first hand.
im talking about that wanting desire that im sure almost everyone feels, or at least most of the older kin who have been more aware for a while. heck, im sure people who havent even started to awaken have felt it and just not known why. its that desire to feel what you remember feeling, first hand.
now i know the most obvious response, its not possible and one shouldnt let themself be lost to the desire, or something along the lines of the picture. and they would prolly be right...right? well...i for one have never really wanted a 'normal' life...i have always felt out of place, i remember telling my mother i thought i was born in the wrong era. maybe i should have been born in the middle ages with knights and such, or perhaps in some other age where dragons were alive or the years of the dinosaurs. this was way back before i ever even made my way online. before i found out about Otherkin.
maybe its what everyone wants, a life without worrying about money, jobs, society and all that stuff. to live in the wild and truly be free. free from one's "responsibilities". we arent free...not even in America, the "Free Nation". i try to live my life as best i can, as freely as i can but i know im not free at all. i have just the right amount of leeway on my leash so that i dont notice it, but its there all the same. if i was truly free, i could leave my job and go...just go. i wouldnt need to go to school. i wouldnt NEED money, for anything. and maybe thats why i want to shift...so i can be free. truly free. like a wild animal. and just fly...fly away...
so does that mean that im just being immature? that i just dont want to work hard to make a living? should i work towards maintaining something that i will never really have anyway? just an illusion of my desire, never really attaining the freedom i so deeply desire...what difference would it make twenty years down the road whether i worked hard to make somewhat more money just to realise it was all for nothing, or just drift along waiting for it to happen when i know it wont happen anyway? what would be the point? i dunno... maybe im just rambling :/ who knows.
i guess what im getting at is why should i worry that im wasting my life away pining for something everyone says is impossible, when the "normal" hollow life i would otherwise lead isnt what i want anyway? sure, i could get a job, get an education, and actually get the Psychiatrist job i am going to college to get...but i would still feel inside that its all for nothing...sure its great and all but its not what i want...not what i so deeply desire...to be who i am on the inside and fly...free...
this is the most striking image i have seen online...period. no other image has spoken so deeply to me, though some have come close. and so i wanted to strike up a discussion, one im sure everyone has seen already or if not has experienced first hand.
im talking about that wanting desire that im sure almost everyone feels, or at least most of the older kin who have been more aware for a while. heck, im sure people who havent even started to awaken have felt it and just not known why. its that desire to feel what you remember feeling, first hand.
now i know the most obvious response, its not possible and one shouldnt let themself be lost to the desire, or something along the lines of the picture. and they would prolly be right...right? well...i for one have never really wanted a 'normal' life...i have always felt out of place, i remember telling my mother i thought i was born in the wrong era. maybe i should have been born in the middle ages with knights and such, or perhaps in some other age where dragons were alive or the years of the dinosaurs. this was way back before i ever even made my way online. before i found out about Otherkin.
maybe its what everyone wants, a life without worrying about money, jobs, society and all that stuff. to live in the wild and truly be free. free from one's "responsibilities". we arent free...not even in America, the "Free Nation". i try to live my life as best i can, as freely as i can but i know im not free at all. i have just the right amount of leeway on my leash so that i dont notice it, but its there all the same. if i was truly free, i could leave my job and go...just go. i wouldnt need to go to school. i wouldnt NEED money, for anything. and maybe thats why i want to shift...so i can be free. truly free. like a wild animal. and just fly...fly away...
so does that mean that im just being immature? that i just dont want to work hard to make a living? should i work towards maintaining something that i will never really have anyway? just an illusion of my desire, never really attaining the freedom i so deeply desire...what difference would it make twenty years down the road whether i worked hard to make somewhat more money just to realise it was all for nothing, or just drift along waiting for it to happen when i know it wont happen anyway? what would be the point? i dunno... maybe im just rambling :/ who knows.
i guess what im getting at is why should i worry that im wasting my life away pining for something everyone says is impossible, when the "normal" hollow life i would otherwise lead isnt what i want anyway? sure, i could get a job, get an education, and actually get the Psychiatrist job i am going to college to get...but i would still feel inside that its all for nothing...sure its great and all but its not what i want...not what i so deeply desire...to be who i am on the inside and fly...free...