Something I can be...
Occasionally I have a strange insight into my projected persona... Often I describe myself as a void-filler; whatever is lacking in the emotional climate of a room, I can supply. It's why I can be silly, solemn, bubbly & outgoing and quiet & insightful, all within the same minute in some cases. I shine most when the people around me are tired and lacking energy; that's when a switch is turned, and I step up and take care of everything. (Anie & Kim will testify to this, re: Front Gate at GARF? :)
And though it doesn't happen often, if someone looks to me for advice or comfort -- if someone makes me feel as if that is what they expect of me, if I feel their confidence in me as that person -- the silliness fades away, and I find another facet of my persona: articulate and gentle, loving and accepting and almost maternal. This persona has no room for pettiness, and has a unique grasp of the Big Picture, and small problems and past slights pale in the light of understanding and reassurance.
I describe myself as highly influenced by the people around me -- I pick up on their mannerisms, turns of phrase, and occasionally negativity (I work very hard to overcome this, but it still happens on occasion)... but at the center of it, I pick up on their beliefs regarding me. If someone looks at me and expects to see silly and inconsequential, then nothing I do can persuade them otherwise, and that's who I am. I, more than anything, need positivity and confidence in me to really make me shine.
Simply put: expect me to succeed, and I will. I still have a fighting chance even if you expect me to fail, but your belief in me, your faith that I am good and intelligent and essential, will earn you a Me that's just that.
So let's have some positivity, people!
All my love,
--Cat
And though it doesn't happen often, if someone looks to me for advice or comfort -- if someone makes me feel as if that is what they expect of me, if I feel their confidence in me as that person -- the silliness fades away, and I find another facet of my persona: articulate and gentle, loving and accepting and almost maternal. This persona has no room for pettiness, and has a unique grasp of the Big Picture, and small problems and past slights pale in the light of understanding and reassurance.
I describe myself as highly influenced by the people around me -- I pick up on their mannerisms, turns of phrase, and occasionally negativity (I work very hard to overcome this, but it still happens on occasion)... but at the center of it, I pick up on their beliefs regarding me. If someone looks at me and expects to see silly and inconsequential, then nothing I do can persuade them otherwise, and that's who I am. I, more than anything, need positivity and confidence in me to really make me shine.
Simply put: expect me to succeed, and I will. I still have a fighting chance even if you expect me to fail, but your belief in me, your faith that I am good and intelligent and essential, will earn you a Me that's just that.
So let's have some positivity, people!
All my love,
--Cat