And I Come All Undone.
2017 was a hell of a year. Productive, but just a little bit crazy. 2018 started out that way as well. A great many happy things happened in that time, but it ate up most of my time and energy. Now that I can breathe (forgive the pun), again, I thought I might come back to a few things.
So,
Part I, Leave Me Be, is here:
http://dr-roslin.livejournal.com/1905.html
Part two, I Don't Wanna Love You, is here:
http://dr-roslin.livejournal.com/2942.html
Part three, I Just Get Confused, is here:
https://dr-roslin.livejournal.com/5323.html
Standard disclaimers apply, as Battlestar Galactica belongs to Ronald D. Moore et al. In regards to spoilers, issues below relate to events that occur through season four. Do not read until you have completed the series.
I've posted part four - I Come All Undone - below. Enjoy!
He hated going to Colonial One.
He had always hated it. It wasn't so much the occupant, (although…there had been a time). He simply disliked this particular ship. He simply found it…blah. And landing... He often felt awkward as a passenger in someone else’s ship, often wished he could take the controls. He never had that urge in regards to Colonial One. Ok, he was just an old Viper pilot who had never taken to flying Raptors, but he knew he wasn't the only one who hated landing on this ship.
He knew some people referred to the Galactica as the Bucket, (though never around him), but he had always felt there was a beauty about her, her deadly competence lethal and powerful. She would always get you where you needed to go, always keep you safe. Although she might be worn along the edges, cold and grey and utilitarian, she was, well, cozy.
Frak. He must be tired if he was coming up with bad poetry.
He tried to keep his distaste from showing as he walked through the corridors of the President's ship. At least he didn’t have to live here. It was supposed to look sleek and elegant, this luxury liner turned presidential residence, but all he could think of was how bland it seemed.
No wonder Laura preferred to curl up in his quarters.
He hadn't thought of it before, but she mostly came to him, shuttling back and forth to the Galactica. Maybe it was because she needed to get out, what with living and working jammed into a couple hundred square feet. With the curtain open, you could see into her living quarters from the doorway of her office. Still. He hadn’t realized until now how much he appreciated how often she came to him.
He automatically stood at attention after stepping into her office. She wasn’t alone.
‘Any help you can give me, Tom.’ She smiled at her Vice President.
‘Not at all, Laura.’
Hmmm. Here he was, so careful to maintain the public façade of professional distance, while frakkin’ Tom Zarek could treat her like they were the oldest of friends.
Which they weren’t.
Zarek nodded as he passed him on the way out. ‘Admiral.’
‘Mr. Vice President.’
‘Admiral.’ Laura looked up and beamed at him.
‘Madame President.’
Her aide Tory had scheduled him for the last meeting of the day, so they could take whatever time they needed. Still, he reminded himself not to stay too long. There were already circles under her eyes; the diloxan was taking its toll. He made sure the shades were up before he took his seat next to her; looking at the stars always soothed her.
‘There isn’t anything wrong is there? Not that I don’t enjoy seeing you, but I thought we’d taken care of everything when we spoke earlier.’
He wasn’t going to tell her that he’d worried about the weariness in her voice when they'd spoke over the wireless.
She snorted. ‘Hopefully it’s not about Baltar. I’d had enough of Gaius Baltar to last a lifetime.’
Frak it. She’d see through his excuses anyway.
‘I wanted to see you. I was worried.’
He was relieved when she relaxed, tucking her feet underneath her, snuggling further into her chair.
‘Mmm. I’m sorry, I’m just tired. And nauseous. I’m not sure the frakking diloxan is worth it.’
Whoa. ‘Laura - ’
‘It’s okay, relax. I know I need it. It’s just it seems so pointless. I mean, I know I said that if it came back I was going to be open about it, and I was going to fight it, but it just seems useless. Some days I think I should just enjoy the time I have left.’
Frak. He knew her mother had died from breast cancer, he knew the memory of those last days haunted her. He winced. He knew she blamed the diloxan.
He let her vent.
‘I mean, I know I have to do this. I know. Today was just harder than usual, and I’m tired of going twenty rounds with Cottle.’
Okay, Husker, focus. She was just feeling crappy. He’d just make sure that he went with her for the appointments. Made sure she got through them okay. Make sure she went. He could live with many things, but a universe without Laura Roslin?
Not one of them.
‘When’s your next appointment?’
She made a face as she rested her head against the headrest and closed her eyes.
‘Three days.’
Ok. He had some time. Noting she was shivering, he got up and covered her with her favourite throw. He knew it wouldn’t be enough. He’d prefer warming her himself, but the seats weren’t big enough. Plush but not functional. Not meant for two. Plus, the window seals were faulty so it was always cold. Another reason to hate this frakking ship.
He’d been after her for weeks to have the seals replaced. Well, you have to have them replaced for her, Adama. Ship maintenance was ultimately his responsibility in any case. He’d talk to the Captain of the Colonial One. Meanwhile, he needed to get better at managing her. He smiled wryly. Good luck with that. He’d been trying for three years.
‘You should stay overnight on Galactica when you have to see Cottle.’
She opened one eye cautiously. ‘Stay overnight.’
‘No reason we can’t arrange our meetings to coincide with the treatments.’
Talk fast, Adama.
‘You can rest in my quarters, use the wardroom for meetings.’
‘Mmmm. Maybe.’
Good.
He should go. She needed her rest and it couldn’t be good for her, sleeping in a chair. Though that cot of hers wasn’t much better.
He was sure she’d sleep better in one of his beds.
He watched over her while she slept, and made his plans.