Family Meeting take 2

[dr_rodneymckay]

Rodney leaned against the living room wall nearest the front door, arms crossed and looking decidedly Not Happy. When everyone--even the cats, to his private amusement--had settled, he studied them intently; meeting each spouse in the eye before moving on

Comments

[lt_col_sheppard]

This is hurting them all far too much--maybe it's a bad idea--or maybe they just need time to process it. Rae's eyes vie with Carson's for "most sadness held in two orbs ever"..and Radek looks positively sick from what must be a serious overload of upsetting emotion. He can't do anything about that...all he can do is hold tightly to Carson's clammy hand and join them in the soul-baring.

"..I" he begins, almost ashamed of how soft his voice is...he clears his throat and begins again, eyes focused on Dora's twitching tailtip.

"I got a black mark in Afghanistan for "conduct unbecoming an officer". A man under my command was in the middle of raping a local woman when I caught him. She was screaming and clutching at her veil and he was just laughing....he'd always been unbalanced, bottom of the barrel, just enlisted so he could legally bomb cities, as far as I could tell. He was mine, though, and my responsibility. I pulled him off, and he punched me, hard in the face. I gave him one chance to stop, but he didn't. That woman watched me beat a man under my command senseless. They didn't ask why he had to be carried straight to the infirmary when we got home--I admitted it, and that's how I ended up at McMurdo."

John caresses the knuckles of his right hand, fingertips tracing the ridge of scar tissue there from the busted knuckles he'd suffered against Reed's nose. The retelling doesn't bring any pain he doesn't carry around anyway, and John hopes Radek doesn't really feel anything new.

[engineer_radek]

Radek tries to block it all out, if only for Rae's sake. Soon he's calm-faced again and sitting straight, though he keeps petting Dora for fear of losing a few fingers should he stop.

He smiles serenely at Rae. //Is nothing, my heart. Worry not.// Then he turns to John and nods. [You did the right thing. I'm not sure I would have even left him alive, were he in my command.]

[lt_col_sheppard]

[there were times, after] John whispers, settling himself between Carson's spread knees, their hands still linked [when I wished I had just finished it--I'm not sure that's a good thing, how easily I could have killed him.]

Something dark flits across the bluegrey of Radek's eyes, and John settles back, waiting for the last of them to speak-for the pain Radek will reveal to them.

[engineer_radek]

Radek nodded slightly. [I understand, my love. Only too well...]

[dr_rodneymckay]

Rodney watched it fall apart in front of him. Even he could feel the pain in the room, but this was good. Even he knew you must hurt before you heal. Like he'd told Carson: he'd started out taking medical classes in university. He'd only stopped because he seemed to have every known illness in the books--even ones that he knew to be extinct except in the most remort third world countries.

He hated doing this to everyone, but it had to be done. He should have told something more serious, like how his first time was video taped then shown as Saturday night entertainment to the entire hockey team. Or how his second boyfriend--third, if you count Jeremy as his first, which he doesn't--took great delight in fucking him with whatever vaguely phallic item was on hand. Candles, broomsticks, even a bottle of beer, once.

But no, he had to share something innocent like his acting career. Rodney hopes on of them asks him something painful, just so he can share their pain.