(no subject)
Damn it's been a long time. I don't even think anyone uses live journal anymore. Been kinda wanting to write in here for a while; I just don't know about what. Finally found out what my thesis is going to be; it's pretty cool.
Jon is finally fixin' to move the fuck out. Good damn he's stupid. I can't even explain how dumb he is.
Smash Bros. Brawl is pretty amazing; i can't wait to get it in Engrish.
I'm tryin to decide if I should date anyone. I haven't been single for that long, not even a month really. Of course that doesn't bother some people. See, I could be all bitter about it and resent Kari, but I just think it's here way of finalizing the end to our on/off relationship.
She sure is being cold about it though. not like her at all.
It would/does bother me if they are already having sex. I know they have once before like a year ago and she regretted it immediately, but I know how she is and how it is right after you break up with someone - being used to that intimacy. Not gonna lie, it makes one feel replaceable. But we all know I'd fool around with someone now if everyone I knew wasn't not single.
But yeah, I know some girls I'd like to ask out, but I don't want to. but i do. It's just a lot of work and time to have a girl, and i don't think I really care that much right now. I'm content on my own; I'm just afraid that I'm gonna become overly cynical and reclusive and end up a dark hermit. Can I find someone crazy hot without asking out all the crazy hot girls i know of right now? Probably.
Hopefully gonna live with Nathan and Josh when summer comes. Need a job. Don't really want one too difficult right now. I've still got my thesis work to do in the fall. once that's done I think I'll find a higher class job somewhere, but I really won't need one if I go to grad school that next fall. It'll be fun making some money and playing games for a couple months. Of course I'll have to score high on the gre, but if i get a job at Kaplan....
Don't know what else. I hate living with idiot and dumb woman.
I've started running again. I don't ride my bike so much anymore and I don't want to get fat. and my God Jon is so stupid. Stupid diet, can't clean after himself, his towel smells like cat piss cause he leaves it hanging up double layered after every shower. at least he's paying all the utilities.
Damn I would like to date Erica's sister, or at least have a drunk night with her. Jon keeps talking, he thinks he knows how to diet. His diet is so stupid. Tobi's probably gonna lose his car, it does seem like he's spending tons-o-money.
So, I'm gonna see Ben at Aaron's wedding. Don't think I'm gonna crack his head open. I wouldn't mind being friends again. Sometimes I miss him. But it's so easy for me to not care about people. Really. It worries me sometimes.
If I could just get one good punch it the gut. Knock the wind out of him, watch him crumple. I think I'd be satisfied. Still be jealous. I want a hot girlfriend.
I wonder how much I've changed over the past two years. Pretty sure I've become much more cynical. Much less caring. I feel bad Kari had to fall for me as her first love. I really did put her through hell; my stupid guy jealousy has no importance. She deserves more than that system in her car. If only i didn't have this stupid idealist notion of what a girlfriend should be. That's why it never worked. I want a girl that in all likelihood doesn't exist, and I'm so stubborn that I won't not believe it's possible. I should probably pull my head out of there, I'm not that amazing that I deserve this ideal, perfect girlfriend I've dreamed up. I could have been happy with Kari. I think. I think I'm always going to wonder what if no matter who I'm with. It's too easy to find anything to dislike.
Maybe I'm just so awesome nobody will ever be good enough. That sounds good. I don't need anyone. ever.
That's not true, cause after a week or two of just playing games I get to feeling down, and I have to go spend time with people.
I want a kitty. And my family is really annoying.
My motorcycle is awesome. But seriously, starting a new relationship sounds so...demanding. I'd have to do stuff and spend time and care...about someone else, but it would be fun once it began and I'd love it. But...my time might be better spent this semester on my schoolwork for once. I wonder how successful and intelligent I could be if I put all my energy and focus into my academics and my career stuff.
Wii
How great would it be if I stole Jessica from Ben. I'd laugh so hard. Or if they broke up and I swooped in. I'm all mature and stuff. I'm gonna laugh my ass off anyway if they break up. Hell, I'd drive down to Conway and wait for Ben to get home and just laugh at his door until I passed out. Much like Cartman and the midget.
Oh well, I'm hungry. Maybe I'll write here some more. It's something to do with all my free time. Not that I could study or anything. I really could be like, a prodigal student if I would just utilize my time. But I enjoy watching shows I've downloaded and playing games. Gotta download ATHF and ST-NG.
Jon is finally fixin' to move the fuck out. Good damn he's stupid. I can't even explain how dumb he is.
Smash Bros. Brawl is pretty amazing; i can't wait to get it in Engrish.
I'm tryin to decide if I should date anyone. I haven't been single for that long, not even a month really. Of course that doesn't bother some people. See, I could be all bitter about it and resent Kari, but I just think it's here way of finalizing the end to our on/off relationship.
She sure is being cold about it though. not like her at all.
It would/does bother me if they are already having sex. I know they have once before like a year ago and she regretted it immediately, but I know how she is and how it is right after you break up with someone - being used to that intimacy. Not gonna lie, it makes one feel replaceable. But we all know I'd fool around with someone now if everyone I knew wasn't not single.
But yeah, I know some girls I'd like to ask out, but I don't want to. but i do. It's just a lot of work and time to have a girl, and i don't think I really care that much right now. I'm content on my own; I'm just afraid that I'm gonna become overly cynical and reclusive and end up a dark hermit. Can I find someone crazy hot without asking out all the crazy hot girls i know of right now? Probably.
Hopefully gonna live with Nathan and Josh when summer comes. Need a job. Don't really want one too difficult right now. I've still got my thesis work to do in the fall. once that's done I think I'll find a higher class job somewhere, but I really won't need one if I go to grad school that next fall. It'll be fun making some money and playing games for a couple months. Of course I'll have to score high on the gre, but if i get a job at Kaplan....
Don't know what else. I hate living with idiot and dumb woman.
I've started running again. I don't ride my bike so much anymore and I don't want to get fat. and my God Jon is so stupid. Stupid diet, can't clean after himself, his towel smells like cat piss cause he leaves it hanging up double layered after every shower. at least he's paying all the utilities.
Damn I would like to date Erica's sister, or at least have a drunk night with her. Jon keeps talking, he thinks he knows how to diet. His diet is so stupid. Tobi's probably gonna lose his car, it does seem like he's spending tons-o-money.
So, I'm gonna see Ben at Aaron's wedding. Don't think I'm gonna crack his head open. I wouldn't mind being friends again. Sometimes I miss him. But it's so easy for me to not care about people. Really. It worries me sometimes.
If I could just get one good punch it the gut. Knock the wind out of him, watch him crumple. I think I'd be satisfied. Still be jealous. I want a hot girlfriend.
I wonder how much I've changed over the past two years. Pretty sure I've become much more cynical. Much less caring. I feel bad Kari had to fall for me as her first love. I really did put her through hell; my stupid guy jealousy has no importance. She deserves more than that system in her car. If only i didn't have this stupid idealist notion of what a girlfriend should be. That's why it never worked. I want a girl that in all likelihood doesn't exist, and I'm so stubborn that I won't not believe it's possible. I should probably pull my head out of there, I'm not that amazing that I deserve this ideal, perfect girlfriend I've dreamed up. I could have been happy with Kari. I think. I think I'm always going to wonder what if no matter who I'm with. It's too easy to find anything to dislike.
Maybe I'm just so awesome nobody will ever be good enough. That sounds good. I don't need anyone. ever.
That's not true, cause after a week or two of just playing games I get to feeling down, and I have to go spend time with people.
I want a kitty. And my family is really annoying.
My motorcycle is awesome. But seriously, starting a new relationship sounds so...demanding. I'd have to do stuff and spend time and care...about someone else, but it would be fun once it began and I'd love it. But...my time might be better spent this semester on my schoolwork for once. I wonder how successful and intelligent I could be if I put all my energy and focus into my academics and my career stuff.
Wii
How great would it be if I stole Jessica from Ben. I'd laugh so hard. Or if they broke up and I swooped in. I'm all mature and stuff. I'm gonna laugh my ass off anyway if they break up. Hell, I'd drive down to Conway and wait for Ben to get home and just laugh at his door until I passed out. Much like Cartman and the midget.
Oh well, I'm hungry. Maybe I'll write here some more. It's something to do with all my free time. Not that I could study or anything. I really could be like, a prodigal student if I would just utilize my time. But I enjoy watching shows I've downloaded and playing games. Gotta download ATHF and ST-NG.