Entertaining Dreams #1
Thursday.
Andrea and I were on a beautiful partially secluded beach. The sand was flat, and fine with no shells or coral to stick through our beach towel which we were lying on under a large umbrella speared into the sand. The sky was placid, the ocean before us was blue and equally flat and calm with a light sea breeze blowing. It convinced Andrea to take a nap and it was a good time to read a book rather guiltless and carefree. In fact, we cared little at all for the lilly pads on the surface of the water sprawling out to the horizon some large and some fairly small. I remembered that they weren't there the day before, but then I had never been here during this time of year and maybe this is what happens when the water wasn't so choppy. Every time I bothered to look up from my book though it seemed some of the smaller lilly pads with their green color contrasting with the pale blue ocean had gotten slightly larger, while those larger ones were starting to sprout white flowers. In the shallows, near the shore bobbed the upper body of a family of white, flabby, Midwesterners playing in the water next to one of the larger lilly pads. The red headed boy would dive under the pad to get a better look, and then come up across it to scare his older red headed sister. The fat ruddy-faced mother would scorn them both while their flabby red-headed father would offer his assistance in the scorn.
I put down my book and approached the water's edge to get a better look at the curious lilly pads. At ankle depth I saw half buried in the sand and evenly spaced apart, frogs about the size of my first, starring up at me through the clear water. I called for Andrea to come and look, but she as on her back mouth open and sound asleep. Like a child I tried to startle one of the frogs into movement and though he was intimidated by my size and frightening people feet this wasn't enough to counteract his instinct to stay put. I realized it was cruel what I was doing and left it alone. I waded out to a larger lilly pad. The flowers had changed to shoots of what looked like bamboo growing through the middle of it. I pulled myself out of the water and onto the rubbery green pad which supported my weight nicely. Two feet into the middle of the pad was a tiny but impossibly thick bamboo forest maybe twenty feet in diameter. Try as I might I couldn't push through the bamboo shoots that felt water logged and more like rubbery banana trees in texture. I thought to myself, if only I had a machete. Why I wanted to get to the middle of the thing I can't say. Instead I walked around the cylinder of forest and on the other side of it was a cove hollowed out and small Television studio was built inside. Two news casters were in the middle of reporting five o'clock local news and they both paused for a moment and blinked at me dumbfounded for a beat but then quickly continued with their report. I was a little let down to be honest. I'm not sure what I was expecting to find but it certainly wasn't the five o'clock news. Like a child starving for attention I started to climb one of the bamboo trees and the racket and motion of doing this was clearly interrupting their broadcast but I didn't care. I was on vacation and they were fucker for ruining it and even being on this lilly pad. I found a coconut at the top of the tree and brought it down landing with a thud. I quietly apologized to both of them and then swam back to shore with my coconut.
When I got back Andrea was still unconscious on her back like a K.O'd boxer. I started to open the coconut's husk when I saw in the distance one of the larger Lilly pads bob on the water causing ripples that disturbed the other lilly pads. I also noticed the Midwesterners had gone and assumed they returned to their cabana. This time a closer lilly pad bobbed as the face of a large frog peered out towards the shore from under it. Interesting I thought, I wonder if this is going to screw up the evening news report? Suddenly a fountain of water erupted from the ocean and that frog bounded to the shore giving me no time to think before its tongue grappled both me and Andrea into its mouth with a loud slurp.
Somehow I held on and didn't slip to it's stomach but I couldn't find Andrea. She wasn't in its mouth and there was only room for me. She must have gone down and that was not good. The frogs powerful muscles were moving, trying to force this blockage down but I was clinging on for dear life and seeking air. Any air I could get. I pulled myself across it's slimy tongue and punch toward it's mouth. I could feel the less humid outside air on my fist. A tiny pin light of sunshine caught my eyes and waft of air came through enough to give me a breath. The frog was hopping wildly causing the world to spin and gyrate. Somehow my torso popped out, the sun nearly blinding me through goo covered eyes but I slipped back down to only my had as the frogs powerful mouth started constricting my neck to the point was afraid my head might hop off. I managed to get my hands through and began counteracting the pressure and slowly prying its mouth open but the frog threw it's head back as it bounded into the air and with one large gulp aided by gravity forced me right back where I started. This time I tried to claw at the inside of it's throat but it was too slick and I'm a clawless animal. I kicked and punched but nothing happened. I could use that Umbrella but it was no where to be found. How much time does Andrea have down there, I wondered. Oh God, I need to do something quick! I needed a stronger reaction from this stupid creature and sting it where it hurts. My fingers clawed it by the flat of it's tongue and held tight despite how slippery it was. Using the only sharp object I could think to use, I took a mouth full of it's giant frog tongue and bit down with all the pressure I could manage. I got a taste of blood which poured out in pints but I kept taking large chunks of raw flesh despite the taste and pulling with my fingers whatever parts they could manage to dislodge. The frog thrashed madly. Fuck you animal! I thought, You ruined a perfectly good afternoon with your appetite!
Then those throat muscles did something different and with one violent eruption vomited me, Andrea and the contents of our beach stuff onto the sand into a pool of stomach acid. I could feel my skin burning in the heat but I was on my legs and willing to stare down this behemoth. This stupid animal needed to learn quick that if it wanted us as food it was going to pay for every bit of it. I grabbed the umbrella and stabbed wildly at whatever looked sensitive. The sight of this caused The Frog to really panic and it hopped away from the beach, past the cabanas and off into the wild world somewhere.
Once it left and I was sure it wasn't likely to return I let exhaustion wash over me and I flopped down on the sand like a sack. Andrea was somehow still unconscious but breathing. She was covered in stomach acid though. I didn't know what to do or if it would help but I rushed her to the shore and placed her body into the salty ocean. It was shallow enough to let her lay there. I lied across from her letting the salt water pour over me. I was nauseous and painfully exhausted as I starred up at the sky feeling like the world had done me and her some kind of injustice. Little by little the smaller frogs from the shallows hopped over to me, and began to burrow in the sand under my body lifting me out of the water. I looked over to Andrea and they were doing the same. The water had a irredescent glow and though I was really confused and frightened I got the feeling the smaller frogs were trying help somehow.
I woke up after that.
Andrea and I were on a beautiful partially secluded beach. The sand was flat, and fine with no shells or coral to stick through our beach towel which we were lying on under a large umbrella speared into the sand. The sky was placid, the ocean before us was blue and equally flat and calm with a light sea breeze blowing. It convinced Andrea to take a nap and it was a good time to read a book rather guiltless and carefree. In fact, we cared little at all for the lilly pads on the surface of the water sprawling out to the horizon some large and some fairly small. I remembered that they weren't there the day before, but then I had never been here during this time of year and maybe this is what happens when the water wasn't so choppy. Every time I bothered to look up from my book though it seemed some of the smaller lilly pads with their green color contrasting with the pale blue ocean had gotten slightly larger, while those larger ones were starting to sprout white flowers. In the shallows, near the shore bobbed the upper body of a family of white, flabby, Midwesterners playing in the water next to one of the larger lilly pads. The red headed boy would dive under the pad to get a better look, and then come up across it to scare his older red headed sister. The fat ruddy-faced mother would scorn them both while their flabby red-headed father would offer his assistance in the scorn.
I put down my book and approached the water's edge to get a better look at the curious lilly pads. At ankle depth I saw half buried in the sand and evenly spaced apart, frogs about the size of my first, starring up at me through the clear water. I called for Andrea to come and look, but she as on her back mouth open and sound asleep. Like a child I tried to startle one of the frogs into movement and though he was intimidated by my size and frightening people feet this wasn't enough to counteract his instinct to stay put. I realized it was cruel what I was doing and left it alone. I waded out to a larger lilly pad. The flowers had changed to shoots of what looked like bamboo growing through the middle of it. I pulled myself out of the water and onto the rubbery green pad which supported my weight nicely. Two feet into the middle of the pad was a tiny but impossibly thick bamboo forest maybe twenty feet in diameter. Try as I might I couldn't push through the bamboo shoots that felt water logged and more like rubbery banana trees in texture. I thought to myself, if only I had a machete. Why I wanted to get to the middle of the thing I can't say. Instead I walked around the cylinder of forest and on the other side of it was a cove hollowed out and small Television studio was built inside. Two news casters were in the middle of reporting five o'clock local news and they both paused for a moment and blinked at me dumbfounded for a beat but then quickly continued with their report. I was a little let down to be honest. I'm not sure what I was expecting to find but it certainly wasn't the five o'clock news. Like a child starving for attention I started to climb one of the bamboo trees and the racket and motion of doing this was clearly interrupting their broadcast but I didn't care. I was on vacation and they were fucker for ruining it and even being on this lilly pad. I found a coconut at the top of the tree and brought it down landing with a thud. I quietly apologized to both of them and then swam back to shore with my coconut.
When I got back Andrea was still unconscious on her back like a K.O'd boxer. I started to open the coconut's husk when I saw in the distance one of the larger Lilly pads bob on the water causing ripples that disturbed the other lilly pads. I also noticed the Midwesterners had gone and assumed they returned to their cabana. This time a closer lilly pad bobbed as the face of a large frog peered out towards the shore from under it. Interesting I thought, I wonder if this is going to screw up the evening news report? Suddenly a fountain of water erupted from the ocean and that frog bounded to the shore giving me no time to think before its tongue grappled both me and Andrea into its mouth with a loud slurp.
Somehow I held on and didn't slip to it's stomach but I couldn't find Andrea. She wasn't in its mouth and there was only room for me. She must have gone down and that was not good. The frogs powerful muscles were moving, trying to force this blockage down but I was clinging on for dear life and seeking air. Any air I could get. I pulled myself across it's slimy tongue and punch toward it's mouth. I could feel the less humid outside air on my fist. A tiny pin light of sunshine caught my eyes and waft of air came through enough to give me a breath. The frog was hopping wildly causing the world to spin and gyrate. Somehow my torso popped out, the sun nearly blinding me through goo covered eyes but I slipped back down to only my had as the frogs powerful mouth started constricting my neck to the point was afraid my head might hop off. I managed to get my hands through and began counteracting the pressure and slowly prying its mouth open but the frog threw it's head back as it bounded into the air and with one large gulp aided by gravity forced me right back where I started. This time I tried to claw at the inside of it's throat but it was too slick and I'm a clawless animal. I kicked and punched but nothing happened. I could use that Umbrella but it was no where to be found. How much time does Andrea have down there, I wondered. Oh God, I need to do something quick! I needed a stronger reaction from this stupid creature and sting it where it hurts. My fingers clawed it by the flat of it's tongue and held tight despite how slippery it was. Using the only sharp object I could think to use, I took a mouth full of it's giant frog tongue and bit down with all the pressure I could manage. I got a taste of blood which poured out in pints but I kept taking large chunks of raw flesh despite the taste and pulling with my fingers whatever parts they could manage to dislodge. The frog thrashed madly. Fuck you animal! I thought, You ruined a perfectly good afternoon with your appetite!
Then those throat muscles did something different and with one violent eruption vomited me, Andrea and the contents of our beach stuff onto the sand into a pool of stomach acid. I could feel my skin burning in the heat but I was on my legs and willing to stare down this behemoth. This stupid animal needed to learn quick that if it wanted us as food it was going to pay for every bit of it. I grabbed the umbrella and stabbed wildly at whatever looked sensitive. The sight of this caused The Frog to really panic and it hopped away from the beach, past the cabanas and off into the wild world somewhere.
Once it left and I was sure it wasn't likely to return I let exhaustion wash over me and I flopped down on the sand like a sack. Andrea was somehow still unconscious but breathing. She was covered in stomach acid though. I didn't know what to do or if it would help but I rushed her to the shore and placed her body into the salty ocean. It was shallow enough to let her lay there. I lied across from her letting the salt water pour over me. I was nauseous and painfully exhausted as I starred up at the sky feeling like the world had done me and her some kind of injustice. Little by little the smaller frogs from the shallows hopped over to me, and began to burrow in the sand under my body lifting me out of the water. I looked over to Andrea and they were doing the same. The water had a irredescent glow and though I was really confused and frightened I got the feeling the smaller frogs were trying help somehow.
I woke up after that.