Cypriate madness
I tell ya, if I get presented with another fucking squid I'll scream...
Anyway, yes, here I am in sunny Cyprus, only it's not very sunny. This keyboard is a real head-wrecker, the seat is too low to type properly and the keys are weird *sigh*.
So far I have visited an aquarium, which had monkeys and a crocodile in it. Also had a parrot. Of course, the parrot was fitted with an aqualung.
I managed to get myself a wonderful shirt, which those of you who know me will be seeing in the not-too-distant future. Those of you who don'tknow me, well, youwill when you see me.
One of the things that really surprised me about this place is the fact that everything is SO expensive! Although it can be misleading because the Cyprus Pound is worth about 2 Euros, therefore everything LOOKS reasonable, but when you double it, it ain't. I'm in the hotel now where it costs 50c for 10mins internet, that is one Euro, and he connection is slower than an 80-year-old nun's sex drive.
It's not all bad though. The bunch of people who blagged themselves along arenice. There's Erin McCaffrey of the Turbine, Charlie Mallon and Eoin Corry, both of the Indo/Herald (although Eoin seems to have his finger in many pies. He actually set up the Liberty - anyone from college reading this should be amused...
Ah, it's mighty craic indeed.
Pah.
I wouldn't come here again. The food is killing me. They do these Meze things, which involve plates and plates of inedible muck being placed in front of you. I am not impressed.
I don't think you truly realise how much you love your home (country or house) until you find yourself in a place you can't wait to escape. Going home tomorrow anyway.
I bought a coffee here, it cost 2.40... That's basically a fiver.
Aghast, I am.
Chad seems to be sucking harder than ever on his fag, so I guess even he's getting stressed out by this place.
Later on I think I might hit the Agia Napa strip, which I missed yesterday thanks to chronic squid poisoning. Some of the bars here are really something else...
There's this place called Titanic, which has a huge boat sticking out the front. Of course, this is the Titanic we're talking about, so there's also a gigantic plastic iceberg sticking out of the boat. This isn't the weirdest place either, there are all sorts of themed bars, which make the strip look something like EuroDisney.
The Pirates Bar, which also has a large boat instead of a front awning; The Castle Inn, which is elaborately decked out as a castle; Africa bar; Senior Frog's, (yes, Senior Frog, not Senor Frog) which has a number of large plastic frogs outside - and a frog-mobile, I kid you not...; Bedrock, where the staff are dressed as Flintstones...
I could go on and on, but I won't. Though I believe The Rat And Parrot deserves an honourary mention. As does the Blue Tulip.
So, I'm not sure how to go about writing the article. I think people would enjoy this place, but they're the kind of people I don't want to be around. They're the kind of people who think an Only Fools And Horses theme pub is a good idea ("Watch Your Favourite Episodes All Day Long!" No joke, they also have Friends and some other show). They're the kind of people who come on holiday and can think of nothing better to do than go to the pub for 2100 so they can catch "Live" Emmerdale.
Not my environ.
Anyway, enough whinging. I'm off to waste some of this island's precious water and have a bath or something.
Toodle-oo
Anyway, yes, here I am in sunny Cyprus, only it's not very sunny. This keyboard is a real head-wrecker, the seat is too low to type properly and the keys are weird *sigh*.
So far I have visited an aquarium, which had monkeys and a crocodile in it. Also had a parrot. Of course, the parrot was fitted with an aqualung.
I managed to get myself a wonderful shirt, which those of you who know me will be seeing in the not-too-distant future. Those of you who don'tknow me, well, youwill when you see me.
One of the things that really surprised me about this place is the fact that everything is SO expensive! Although it can be misleading because the Cyprus Pound is worth about 2 Euros, therefore everything LOOKS reasonable, but when you double it, it ain't. I'm in the hotel now where it costs 50c for 10mins internet, that is one Euro, and he connection is slower than an 80-year-old nun's sex drive.
It's not all bad though. The bunch of people who blagged themselves along arenice. There's Erin McCaffrey of the Turbine, Charlie Mallon and Eoin Corry, both of the Indo/Herald (although Eoin seems to have his finger in many pies. He actually set up the Liberty - anyone from college reading this should be amused...
Ah, it's mighty craic indeed.
Pah.
I wouldn't come here again. The food is killing me. They do these Meze things, which involve plates and plates of inedible muck being placed in front of you. I am not impressed.
I don't think you truly realise how much you love your home (country or house) until you find yourself in a place you can't wait to escape. Going home tomorrow anyway.
I bought a coffee here, it cost 2.40... That's basically a fiver.
Aghast, I am.
Chad seems to be sucking harder than ever on his fag, so I guess even he's getting stressed out by this place.
Later on I think I might hit the Agia Napa strip, which I missed yesterday thanks to chronic squid poisoning. Some of the bars here are really something else...
There's this place called Titanic, which has a huge boat sticking out the front. Of course, this is the Titanic we're talking about, so there's also a gigantic plastic iceberg sticking out of the boat. This isn't the weirdest place either, there are all sorts of themed bars, which make the strip look something like EuroDisney.
The Pirates Bar, which also has a large boat instead of a front awning; The Castle Inn, which is elaborately decked out as a castle; Africa bar; Senior Frog's, (yes, Senior Frog, not Senor Frog) which has a number of large plastic frogs outside - and a frog-mobile, I kid you not...; Bedrock, where the staff are dressed as Flintstones...
I could go on and on, but I won't. Though I believe The Rat And Parrot deserves an honourary mention. As does the Blue Tulip.
So, I'm not sure how to go about writing the article. I think people would enjoy this place, but they're the kind of people I don't want to be around. They're the kind of people who think an Only Fools And Horses theme pub is a good idea ("Watch Your Favourite Episodes All Day Long!" No joke, they also have Friends and some other show). They're the kind of people who come on holiday and can think of nothing better to do than go to the pub for 2100 so they can catch "Live" Emmerdale.
Not my environ.
Anyway, enough whinging. I'm off to waste some of this island's precious water and have a bath or something.
Toodle-oo