(no subject)
Why now, out of all the times in my life. does living to see tomorrow look like the hardest thing to do? I know i'll be over it if i just go upstairs and go to sleep. but it's hard, i can no longer motivate myself to pick up and se tomorrow. I dont know why. It's disturbing and it seems stupid, but i believe it.Empathy sucks when all you can feel is the pain of other people because it's the strongest emotion next to true love. I care, and the only way i can see to find myself in these emotions isn't the way i want to go. and the path i'll end up traveling if i dont go that way will be the end of me. either mentally, or physically. I don't think i've mentioned it to anyone lately. i dont want them worrying about me. but they will, they're my friends, and i care about them all so much, i may no tshow it. but they kno wmore about who i am than my family does. I wish i could make all their pain and troubles go away just by solving my problem. i wish that i didnt have to feel their pain. i'm on the verge of crying for the first time in a while. i can no longer differentiate between my emotions and those of those close to me. It's disturbing. It truly is. and some of you may thing i'm just crazy. but so be it. I just want to say that i truly regret about talking about some of you behind your back. my guilt is finally coming back. i wish that you all remember who i was, Cebrian, Sparkles, Glinda, Satan Boy, Bohebrian, Strawberry Fairy. That was me, the caring little goth boy with a self image problem. who would never force his problems upont some one else. I just wish i knew what people said about me behind my back. but i need to go find out if i can still separate myown emotions from those of others and if i can't... Those of you who are my friends, you are truly important to me.
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