(no subject)
I got an anonymous comment on the post I made the other day about discrimination based on sexual orientation.
"I am the transgendered person who was viciously attacked and ostracised by fandom, by other supposedly gay and transgendered persons, for writing a story about a transgendered person which they felt was offensive."
Why offensive? Because I suggested that a transgendered post-op woman showering in public amidst strange men might be in actual physical danger - and portrayed her brother "ordering" her not to go alone, because he was worried about her safety. Because I stated that this transgendered woman, following her long-awaited bottom surgery, took pleasure in finally feeling like the "real woman" she'd always needed to be - and portrayed her enjoying such traditionally feminine things as pretty clothes and perfume and shoes. Because in the version of "transgenderism" espoused by my critics, i.e. some version that involves no actual facts of any kind, none of these situations or emotions is at all realistic or valid in any way.
Of all the abuse I have experienced in my life, from all sorts of parties and for all kinds of reasons, the most horrific experience of transphobia that I have ever had was with people who were supposedly my own kind.
And most of the perps are very devoutly observing Spirit Day, don't'cha know.
...Repost this if you believe that bullying BY lgbtq people is just as wrong as bullying OF lgbtq people. If you dare.
I won't hold my breath. :P
I have to admit when I read the comment I was thrown for a loop. And I spent a few days thinking about how best to respond to what they said, because they deserved a response. I was disheartened to read what they had to say in response to what I posted, but I couldn't think how best to respond to it without it coming out wrong. This is not a community I am hugely familiar with other than through friends who are, whom I love, respect, and support for who they are. Even then, I tend to stick my foot in my mouth and say something unintentionally wrong. And I didn't want to do that here. So I asked rm for her help. And what she had to say, I felt was a great response, so I want to share it here:
"The queer community is not a monolith, and bullying is always wrong. Many people in oppressed communities have internalized self-hatred and standards of the dominant culture (not saying this is the case with you, trying to describe the larger context), that can make people facing the same oppressions not just have different opinions, but be on truly on different sides of the same issue. That's okay, incivility isn't. No one can speak for everyone, nor is there one true way or one right answer -- that's what we often forget in Internet discourse. But it is unfair to dare someone in this manner, for it also implies this idea of the single correct mode of action, just one that's more to your liking.
Haven't read the story, and am hesitant to speak to a part of the community I am not a direct member of. But bullying is wrong. And people who have harmed you or others supporting a good cause, does not necessarily make that cause less good.
I'm sorry this is hard and complicated shit. I'm even more sorry that people forget that, cruelly."
To whomever left me their message, if you read this, I want you to know that there are those out there who support you. I'm sorry for the treatment you received from others who should have supported you. I don't know all the circumstances behind what happened, but if you want to discuss it more, you are welcome here at my journal. You don't have to identify yourself, you can remain anonymous if you feel more comfortable that way. But you are welcome here even if its just to rant and make your voice heard.
"I am the transgendered person who was viciously attacked and ostracised by fandom, by other supposedly gay and transgendered persons, for writing a story about a transgendered person which they felt was offensive."
Why offensive? Because I suggested that a transgendered post-op woman showering in public amidst strange men might be in actual physical danger - and portrayed her brother "ordering" her not to go alone, because he was worried about her safety. Because I stated that this transgendered woman, following her long-awaited bottom surgery, took pleasure in finally feeling like the "real woman" she'd always needed to be - and portrayed her enjoying such traditionally feminine things as pretty clothes and perfume and shoes. Because in the version of "transgenderism" espoused by my critics, i.e. some version that involves no actual facts of any kind, none of these situations or emotions is at all realistic or valid in any way.
Of all the abuse I have experienced in my life, from all sorts of parties and for all kinds of reasons, the most horrific experience of transphobia that I have ever had was with people who were supposedly my own kind.
And most of the perps are very devoutly observing Spirit Day, don't'cha know.
...Repost this if you believe that bullying BY lgbtq people is just as wrong as bullying OF lgbtq people. If you dare.
I won't hold my breath. :P
I have to admit when I read the comment I was thrown for a loop. And I spent a few days thinking about how best to respond to what they said, because they deserved a response. I was disheartened to read what they had to say in response to what I posted, but I couldn't think how best to respond to it without it coming out wrong. This is not a community I am hugely familiar with other than through friends who are, whom I love, respect, and support for who they are. Even then, I tend to stick my foot in my mouth and say something unintentionally wrong. And I didn't want to do that here. So I asked rm for her help. And what she had to say, I felt was a great response, so I want to share it here:
"The queer community is not a monolith, and bullying is always wrong. Many people in oppressed communities have internalized self-hatred and standards of the dominant culture (not saying this is the case with you, trying to describe the larger context), that can make people facing the same oppressions not just have different opinions, but be on truly on different sides of the same issue. That's okay, incivility isn't. No one can speak for everyone, nor is there one true way or one right answer -- that's what we often forget in Internet discourse. But it is unfair to dare someone in this manner, for it also implies this idea of the single correct mode of action, just one that's more to your liking.
Haven't read the story, and am hesitant to speak to a part of the community I am not a direct member of. But bullying is wrong. And people who have harmed you or others supporting a good cause, does not necessarily make that cause less good.
I'm sorry this is hard and complicated shit. I'm even more sorry that people forget that, cruelly."
To whomever left me their message, if you read this, I want you to know that there are those out there who support you. I'm sorry for the treatment you received from others who should have supported you. I don't know all the circumstances behind what happened, but if you want to discuss it more, you are welcome here at my journal. You don't have to identify yourself, you can remain anonymous if you feel more comfortable that way. But you are welcome here even if its just to rant and make your voice heard.