oh, ok!
Here is some nonsense from my OKcupid journal.
for the record, OKC is currently batting 0/0 as far as it's intended function goes.
however, i do have some raps and rants on there that i have decided must come over here.
these are the morbidly verbose and unrefined word collections that can be found in that location.
ATTN heather, these may or may not be useful as angry rants for you know what.
oh wait... looks like there's only two... and i think one had a clone LJ entry anyway..
but fuck it =D
i could maybe refine/finish the rap in the first one. i bet it would be awesome.
etc ->
Feb 12
My, my, my... a second journal post?
POST SCRIPT EDIT:
i fully endorse the reading of both this, and the first journal entry i have created for their value as *literary compositions*
as far as indicators of my mental stability, they are clearly worthless. you will find no such value to them. and if you do, then that makes you crazy, just like me.
That said, please enjoy this *literature*
-love and hugs,
Doctor X
------------------------------------------------------------
Never thought I'd live to see the day when I, Derick, in all my pride and serious awesometude, would stoop so low as to fill out *not one* but *two* journal entries on OK cupid.com
Warning flags are flying.
I guess I really have some kind of uncanny ineptitude as far as getting a girl to come into my life. But really, I still have my doubts as to whether this is my fault, or if I am the victim of a sick, circumstantial redundancy, ever present in my life.
Would you like an explanation?
Perhaps an elaboration, as to my condemnation?
Part of me says that it's my will that isn't free,
and decidedly I must take responsibility,
so that if I'm to receive any reprieve,
I must believe in me more than i do currently.
The other half,
having completed this experiment in self betterment,
has concluded the presence of some irritant.
The essence of irreverence,
the product of some lame intent, backwards bent;
as if it were no accident that I've been left here to repent, pennant, in the place of a pestilence,
with ill persistence, twisted and concerned,
for bridges I burned,
which I must have, clearly, because it still ain't my turn.
So the question remains, am I sane,
or is the pain the product of my own game?
the river from my own rain?
to change, or stay the same; a decision must be made,
cause my sand's slipping down the drain,
pulling me closer to a time when i'll refrain to remain,
but I need answers, or i will just have to take chances,
with other people's hearts,
i could break a few, to fix my own point of view,
but i'd rather leave an innocent heart far from the...
oh fuck it, this rhyme isn't fun anymore.
hope you all enjoyed it while it lasted.
basically, the problem I experience is this:
My, lovelessness, if you will, seems to be the product of constant and insurmountable circumstantial occurrence to which i am subject.
the question arises in me that, what it, i am perhaps to blame?
the answer to that is simple, i must take responsibility and adopt a new take on the matter, learn something, or change something, etc.
but i don't have a knack for false hunches, and assuming i am right, and i take responsibility for and change accordingly to something that is incorrect, will that not adversely affect the constitution of who i am?
i mean, god fucking damnit, who am i to even be asking these questions? why can't i just shut the fuck up and work my way up from banging fat chicks and moving on to something better like others i know?
why can't i be intimate with girls who i do not have feelings for?
*grumble grumble*
what a headfuck. Two days until i trap cupid and strip him of his powers.
and one week since you looked at me.
rolled your eyes to the side, etc.
---------------------------------------------------------------
this next part is the cloned one. it's also probably a useless
piece of garbage as far as our literary needs are concerned,
but i want it in my lj for posterity.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Feb 6
ok, cupid.
i admit defeat. i don't know what the hell you're plotting, with your heart shaped arrows, and your wee little faggoty wings, but it clearly does not involve me.
or the people at table 6.
is this my own doing? i kind of doubt it. maybe. maybe i just never learned how, and something just fell out of the sky, and that's why i had love before at all.
but i'm blaming you, cupid. and me and Morpheus, see, we're gonna team up and get you.
mm'yeah, see. yeah.
and after that, well. i'm going to steal *all* your arrows, and we'll see who gets the last laugh.
maybe i should bring Loki with me instead... that sounds more like his bag of chips.
for the record, OKC is currently batting 0/0 as far as it's intended function goes.
however, i do have some raps and rants on there that i have decided must come over here.
these are the morbidly verbose and unrefined word collections that can be found in that location.
ATTN heather, these may or may not be useful as angry rants for you know what.
oh wait... looks like there's only two... and i think one had a clone LJ entry anyway..
but fuck it =D
i could maybe refine/finish the rap in the first one. i bet it would be awesome.
etc ->
Feb 12
My, my, my... a second journal post?
POST SCRIPT EDIT:
i fully endorse the reading of both this, and the first journal entry i have created for their value as *literary compositions*
as far as indicators of my mental stability, they are clearly worthless. you will find no such value to them. and if you do, then that makes you crazy, just like me.
That said, please enjoy this *literature*
-love and hugs,
Doctor X
------------------------------------------------------------
Never thought I'd live to see the day when I, Derick, in all my pride and serious awesometude, would stoop so low as to fill out *not one* but *two* journal entries on OK cupid.com
Warning flags are flying.
I guess I really have some kind of uncanny ineptitude as far as getting a girl to come into my life. But really, I still have my doubts as to whether this is my fault, or if I am the victim of a sick, circumstantial redundancy, ever present in my life.
Would you like an explanation?
Perhaps an elaboration, as to my condemnation?
Part of me says that it's my will that isn't free,
and decidedly I must take responsibility,
so that if I'm to receive any reprieve,
I must believe in me more than i do currently.
The other half,
having completed this experiment in self betterment,
has concluded the presence of some irritant.
The essence of irreverence,
the product of some lame intent, backwards bent;
as if it were no accident that I've been left here to repent, pennant, in the place of a pestilence,
with ill persistence, twisted and concerned,
for bridges I burned,
which I must have, clearly, because it still ain't my turn.
So the question remains, am I sane,
or is the pain the product of my own game?
the river from my own rain?
to change, or stay the same; a decision must be made,
cause my sand's slipping down the drain,
pulling me closer to a time when i'll refrain to remain,
but I need answers, or i will just have to take chances,
with other people's hearts,
i could break a few, to fix my own point of view,
but i'd rather leave an innocent heart far from the...
oh fuck it, this rhyme isn't fun anymore.
hope you all enjoyed it while it lasted.
basically, the problem I experience is this:
My, lovelessness, if you will, seems to be the product of constant and insurmountable circumstantial occurrence to which i am subject.
the question arises in me that, what it, i am perhaps to blame?
the answer to that is simple, i must take responsibility and adopt a new take on the matter, learn something, or change something, etc.
but i don't have a knack for false hunches, and assuming i am right, and i take responsibility for and change accordingly to something that is incorrect, will that not adversely affect the constitution of who i am?
i mean, god fucking damnit, who am i to even be asking these questions? why can't i just shut the fuck up and work my way up from banging fat chicks and moving on to something better like others i know?
why can't i be intimate with girls who i do not have feelings for?
*grumble grumble*
what a headfuck. Two days until i trap cupid and strip him of his powers.
and one week since you looked at me.
rolled your eyes to the side, etc.
---------------------------------------------------------------
this next part is the cloned one. it's also probably a useless
piece of garbage as far as our literary needs are concerned,
but i want it in my lj for posterity.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Feb 6
ok, cupid.
i admit defeat. i don't know what the hell you're plotting, with your heart shaped arrows, and your wee little faggoty wings, but it clearly does not involve me.
or the people at table 6.
is this my own doing? i kind of doubt it. maybe. maybe i just never learned how, and something just fell out of the sky, and that's why i had love before at all.
but i'm blaming you, cupid. and me and Morpheus, see, we're gonna team up and get you.
mm'yeah, see. yeah.
and after that, well. i'm going to steal *all* your arrows, and we'll see who gets the last laugh.
maybe i should bring Loki with me instead... that sounds more like his bag of chips.