Ruminations
Alright, so now I'm single again. And I don't know what to think of that yet.
I have no idea how this happened, well, rather I do, but I refuse to believe that this is entirely my fault. I don't want to believe that this is my fault.
It's not that I don't love him. I love him with all my heart, but...I feel, I don't know, trapped. And I don't think it's Jack. I think that had I pursued a relationship with anyone else, Vanden or Simonetta, even, this would be a problem, I don't know! I just don't know what I want...
Except that I know that he doesn't deserve this. He shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who feels that a mixture of adoration and captivity. captivity and trapped are terrible words to use, but...
I should have thought this through more carefully! I should have thought it out before I said yes. Good going, not even 26 and already two failed engagements. I'm pathetic.
But I love him, I do, I really, really, do. And I miss him. Not that it matters anymore--
He won't take me back after this.
I have no idea how this happened, well, rather I do, but I refuse to believe that this is entirely my fault. I don't want to believe that this is my fault.
It's not that I don't love him. I love him with all my heart, but...I feel, I don't know, trapped. And I don't think it's Jack. I think that had I pursued a relationship with anyone else, Vanden or Simonetta, even, this would be a problem, I don't know! I just don't know what I want...
Except that I know that he doesn't deserve this. He shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who feels that a mixture of adoration and captivity. captivity and trapped are terrible words to use, but...
I should have thought this through more carefully! I should have thought it out before I said yes. Good going, not even 26 and already two failed engagements. I'm pathetic.
But I love him, I do, I really, really, do. And I miss him. Not that it matters anymore--
He won't take me back after this.