One of those inbetween times...
It's been a week since I found out and nothing has been fundamentally changed.
I think it's time to breathe a sigh of relief.
I hate these inbetween times when you aren't really doing anything, but you know you HAVE to do something pretty soon or else something bad will happen. That's cryptic, I know, but I can't really explain it any better. It's kinda how my life is at the moment. Take right now for instance. I have like 50 minutes until my Japanese Oral exam but I can't really fully pay attention to anything else until it's done...but I still feel like I'm wasting time just doing nothing....hence the LJ update. Or, in a broader sense...I know I need to go home and get a summer job. However I've already applied to all the places I can at the moment, and there's nothing for it but to wait until I'm back in GR. Still I feel like I'm wasting time. Bleh.
All that aside, recently a friend of mine has been telling me that I am "awesome" and "have amazing perception." Is this true? I suppose that people do come to me for advice fairly often, but I guess I never really thought twice about it and just tried to help them solve their problems with common sense and rational reflection. Man, I sound like a psychologist. Maybe that's good, considering it's what I want in life....or at least what I think I want. What I've realized recently is that I've been able to find happiness, at least in small doses, all throughout my life no matter what kind of shit was going on. So the way I see it, it doesn't matter so much what I end up doing, so long as I can either deal with it or change it. Nothing's ever set in stone as far as the path we choose. I'm having this moment of clarity now, but later I know I'll go back to feeling lonely, unproductive and indescisive, haha!
Ah, what the hell. As I was telling Brandon the other day, I have never really tried to shape the relationships I have with the people I know now, at least not consciously, and we're still friends. We found each other somehow, mostly by coincidence. We maintain each other's company somehow, even though some of us don't really even try a lot of the time, so it's cool. I guess I have faith in people I know and faith left over for people I have't even met yet. If that sounds weird coming from "faithless" Megan then I'm sorry. But oh well. As cliche as this might sound, as long as I cherish the good times with the good people around me, things really will "all work out somehow," as I'm so fond of saying.
And so, I am content.
I never really feel quite right, and I don't know why,
All I know is somethin's wrong.
Everytime I look at you, you seem so alive.
Tell me how do you do it?
Walk me through it!
I'll follow in every footstep...
Maybe on your own you'd take a cautious step,
Do you wanna give that up?
'Cause all I want is for you to
Shine! Shine down on me!
Shine on this life that's burning out.
I say a lot of things sometimes that don't come out right,
And I act like I don't know why.
Guess a reaction's all I was lookin' for.
You looked through me,
You really knew me
Like no one has ever looked before...
Maybe on your own you'd take a cautious step,
Do you wanna give that up?
'Cause all I want is for you to
Shine! Shine down on me!
Shine on this life that's burning out.
I think it's time to breathe a sigh of relief.
I hate these inbetween times when you aren't really doing anything, but you know you HAVE to do something pretty soon or else something bad will happen. That's cryptic, I know, but I can't really explain it any better. It's kinda how my life is at the moment. Take right now for instance. I have like 50 minutes until my Japanese Oral exam but I can't really fully pay attention to anything else until it's done...but I still feel like I'm wasting time just doing nothing....hence the LJ update. Or, in a broader sense...I know I need to go home and get a summer job. However I've already applied to all the places I can at the moment, and there's nothing for it but to wait until I'm back in GR. Still I feel like I'm wasting time. Bleh.
All that aside, recently a friend of mine has been telling me that I am "awesome" and "have amazing perception." Is this true? I suppose that people do come to me for advice fairly often, but I guess I never really thought twice about it and just tried to help them solve their problems with common sense and rational reflection. Man, I sound like a psychologist. Maybe that's good, considering it's what I want in life....or at least what I think I want. What I've realized recently is that I've been able to find happiness, at least in small doses, all throughout my life no matter what kind of shit was going on. So the way I see it, it doesn't matter so much what I end up doing, so long as I can either deal with it or change it. Nothing's ever set in stone as far as the path we choose. I'm having this moment of clarity now, but later I know I'll go back to feeling lonely, unproductive and indescisive, haha!
Ah, what the hell. As I was telling Brandon the other day, I have never really tried to shape the relationships I have with the people I know now, at least not consciously, and we're still friends. We found each other somehow, mostly by coincidence. We maintain each other's company somehow, even though some of us don't really even try a lot of the time, so it's cool. I guess I have faith in people I know and faith left over for people I have't even met yet. If that sounds weird coming from "faithless" Megan then I'm sorry. But oh well. As cliche as this might sound, as long as I cherish the good times with the good people around me, things really will "all work out somehow," as I'm so fond of saying.
And so, I am content.
I never really feel quite right, and I don't know why,
All I know is somethin's wrong.
Everytime I look at you, you seem so alive.
Tell me how do you do it?
Walk me through it!
I'll follow in every footstep...
Maybe on your own you'd take a cautious step,
Do you wanna give that up?
'Cause all I want is for you to
Shine! Shine down on me!
Shine on this life that's burning out.
I say a lot of things sometimes that don't come out right,
And I act like I don't know why.
Guess a reaction's all I was lookin' for.
You looked through me,
You really knew me
Like no one has ever looked before...
Maybe on your own you'd take a cautious step,
Do you wanna give that up?
'Cause all I want is for you to
Shine! Shine down on me!
Shine on this life that's burning out.