(Untitled)

[dr_girlscout]

Mornings did not smell this way, which was the first thing he noticed when he woke up on Friday morning, and mornings did not snore quite so loud in the Doctor's ear, if mornings were the usual

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[misanthrope_md]

House was not exactly a morning person, and Cameron usually got up ahead of him--but she usually didn't do it so disruptively. However, now that she'd woken him up, he might as well make the best of it.

He heard the sighed word and murmured, "So early? Insatiable, aren't you?" And he slid an arm around her and hauled her back against him. He slid his hand slowly down her stomach and added in a low growl near her ear, "You may turn me into a morning person yet."

One part of him was very definitely awake anyway. Especially now that Cameron's backside was nestled right up against his body.

[dr_girlscout]

Oh, something was very, very wrong. The Doctor could not begin to describe how wrong whatever it was was, because he knew the voice in his ear, knew the other person in bed at least somewhat, and knew he was in deep, deep shit.

Especially seeing as Woman Doctor was deciding this was really damn hot. "What?" he...she...squeaked. "Not like that."

Oh god, he wasn't him, was he. It was a very slow and sinking realization.

[misanthrope_md]

House snorted. "Oh, so you're wanting to call the shots this time, hmm?" He slid his hands onto her waist and rolled over onto his back, pulling her on top of him.

"I can live with that," he said, smirking up at her.

[dr_girlscout]

"You'd better be able to," the Doctor replied, running sheerly on automatic while he tried to figure out what the fucking hell was going on. Maybe it was like those comic books where they were in the alternate universes. Maybe it was all a dream and he'd been in a coma, or delusional, and what kind of symptom was that?

[misanthrope_md]

"Oh, well then, doctor," House said, mocking her sudden authoritativeness. His eyes slipped over to the clothes on the floor, discarded from the night before. "Or should I say nurse?" He smoothed his hands over her thighs while he waited for some clue as to what she had in mind.

[dr_girlscout]

Doctor threw him for a second, and the Doctor said, "Doctor's fine, thanks," before he put it back together and glanced over towards the floor where he spotted several...somethings. Pleather. Dear god.

Several female doctors on the island, long darkish hair, tolerated House, shit, why couldn't he THINK? Probably because House was looking and feeling like he was going to fuck him senseless, and whomever was totally down with that, because he was pretty certain this wasn't himself as a girl.

[misanthrope_md]

"All right, Doctor Cameron," House said, playing along, "it seems like you've got a plan for the morning all worked out. But of course, if you'd rather..." And he sat up a little and slid his arms around her back, pulling her closer so that he could whisper an incredibly filthy suggestion in her ear.

[dr_girlscout]

Which the woman really liked and the Doctor was absorbing doctor cameron before he could NOT hear that. Which was about the point where he screamed and pulled himself away, at the same time half throwing himself out of the bed, landing hard on his ass before he scrabbled to put something, anything on.

"OH MY GOD."

[misanthrope_md]

And House suddenly found himself without a handful of woman, and jerked his head towards the flailing Cameron. "What the fuck, Cameron?" he snapped. He was more than a little annoyed, considering his current state of arousal and the fact that she was apparently getting dressed.

[dr_girlscout]

"I'm not fucking Cameron!" the Doctor snapped back, trying to figure out how the hell this thing went on. "And I can't believe you are! And...oh shit, what the hell is going ON, why can't I talk right?"

[misanthrope_md]

"What the fuck are you babbling about?"

House added something in a grumble under his breath as he reached over to grab his boxers from the floor by the bed.

[dr_girlscout]

"Oh, leave it, I've seen it before," the Doctor snapped, half getting the top on, sticky with sweat. "I. Am. Not. Cameron. Island," he gestured with one hand, the other one grabbing a bathrobe from nearby and tugging it on in a half-assed way. "It did it again, Greg, and this time," he looked up at the ceiling as if addressing god, "it is not bloody fucking funny!"

[misanthrope_md]

At that point, it clicked.

"Oh, fuck me," he groaned. "Great. Another fucking body snatchers weekend and I'm not even in on it. You know, the one bright spot in all this insanity is that once a year or so I get to go for a fucking run?" But not this time, apparently.

"So if you're not Cameron, then who... wait. What do you mean you've seen it before?" He narrowed his eyes. "You just called me Greg."

He groaned again. "Oh, please tell me I just imagined you using British slang."

[dr_girlscout]

"No, I'd rather not," the Doctor said, "and it'd be much better if you were Dr. Cameron and not me." He leaned in and gave House a withering look. "Three guesses, wise guy, and the first two don't count. Thank god you never made us tart up."

[misanthrope_md]

"Okay, first of all, I didn't make her do anything," House snapped, "and from how long it took you to jump out of that bed I'd say you probably don't blame her. And second, you better not breathe a word of this to anyone, especially Rob."

[dr_girlscout]

Oh, and Cameron's body knew it, and the Doctor's look wavered slightly, before he cleared his throat and pulled back. "Or what," he said, "seriously, Greg. This is the island, how long will it be until people figure it out anyway?"

He wouldn't tell Jack, though. He wasn't like that.