waiter? this isn't the life I ordered....

[dr_demonic]

This whole not sleeping thing? It's not working out too well. I keep forgetting things.. .I'm falling asleep at awkward times during the day. And it feels like I'm chipping away at a stone with a toothpick. Or trying to climb out of a quicksand pit with shovels for hands. I'm not even stressed out or mad anymore... all that's left is the tirednes... the insane, persisting tiredness that consumes me. I feel the floor move when I stand still. I have so much work and yet no matter how much I do, it's like there's no stopping it. I so many projects, and when I try to get them done all they do is get more difficult to finish. It's insanity. True, godforesaken insanity.

I want to write something really uplifting and happy... upbeat and full of life... but I took the words, laid them out and beat them to death with a hammer.

I'm going out now to buy some guache, smoke a cigar left over from the weekend, and pretend that everything is going to be ok....

I promise these entries will get better. Just not too soon....