Oh, the disreputable sources of inspiration...
So, after it's been... several months... since I last posted ANYTHING AT ALL, I've recently had a supreme rush of inspiration for all my in-progress writing pursuits--and several previously-unheard-of ones, as you can see. SO, in honor of the new season of Merlin (or something), I bring you Merlin/Arthur drabble! (And I'm putting off my AP World reading for this, AREN'T YOU HAPPY??? 8O)
Title: The Penultimate Good
Words: ~570
Rating: G
Warnings/Spoilers: Uhm, slight blink-and-you'll-miss-it spoiler for 2x04, and general spoilers for the beginning of season 2.
Summary: Arthur can never know the true nature of Merlin's devotion.
Author's Notes: A short, unbeta'd AU piece whose inspiration was spawned from the Taylor Swift song "You Belong With Me." Which is ironic, since I don't listen to or even like Taylor Swift. But my sister was listening to it in the car, and--well--she was driving, it wasn't like I could shut it off. And then this line came up, and despite the fact that the music doesn't appeal to me, I immediately thought of our favorite boys, and became enamored with the idea of this random drabble: "Walking the streets with you in your worn-out jeans, I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be." So then, questionable sources of inspiration aside, I hope you enjoy my procrastination-inducing drabble.
The Penultimate Good
We met up outside your house late one Saturday morning. The air was crisp and clean, the leaves on the trees bloomed in a thousand different colors, and your skin shimmered in the watery autumn sun. When you emerged from your dark home, you turned slowly, catching sight of me. Your smile grabbed hold of time itself and wrenched it back to the height of summer-warm and lazy and happy. I found my breath stolen away by the gleam in your sapphire eyes.
It was one of those perfect days, the ones that were suddenly so hard to come by. You were free from football practice, I was off work, Gwen was away for some competition or other; the sky was blue, the grass was green, and you were wearing those pathetically worn-out jeans that I always begged you to throw away even though I secretly loved them. I did the same now, whining as you approached, and your laughing reply cast the world in gold. Never mind that you had just taken a crack at my ears again.
We turned together and began walking with no particular direction in mind. Striding along beside you, I was reminded of all that was right with the world. We bickered and bantered just like we had in the old days, and the more you insulted me, the harder I had to bite back my grin. You kept flipping your golden hair out of your eyes, a habit I’d always found irritatingly adorable. Your cocky saunter was just like it had been before you spent all your time with Gwen.
And, like every other time I’d managed to get you to myself-and most of the times I hadn’t-I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to tell you that Gwen was an amazing woman, but that she didn’t love you the way you loved her. I wanted to tell you that being with her only made you more resigned, too conscious of her judgment and disapproval. I wanted to tell you that she wasn’t right for you, never would be. And most of all, I wanted to tell you how very brilliant you were, how brave and bold and kind, and that I loved you more than you would ever know.
But that was just it-you would never know. I would never say any of it, because it would hurt you-hurt me, hurt us-too much. I would let you stay with her, let you believe in your happiness, even as I watched her fall for someone else. I would keep bottling up all my love and heartache, only revealing the smallest sliver of devotion when you needed a friend. I would be what you needed me to be.
You kept blathering on about how clumsy and useless I was, and I watched your lips form the words, tilted up just so in a barely-recognizable smirk. I watched your eyes shine bright in the sun, so very, very blue. We wandered off together beneath the dying leaves, tossing conversation back and forth, and I reminded myself that I only had so much time to revel in this, in you; I set aside my sadness, and my pain, and allowed myself to enjoy this one day of you and me, in this little world that was almost, but not quite, perfect.