Spam that made me really think...
"Make your mechanism work"
I had to stare at it for a while... wondering if I had some mechanism somewhere that I had neglected, some wondrous machine running down that only I could make right...
Then I figured out they were talking about my wang.
Wordspew
"Turn it on it's head and it's still a turtle? See?"
Robert pointed proudly at the turtle that he had in fact turn on it's head. I stared at him in the mix of horror and amusement I reserved for really crazy people and made sure the couch was between me and him, just in case he lunged. "Right Rob, right, it sure is!" I tried to keep my voice light and nonthreatening as I moved towards the fireplace and the black iron poker that might be the only thing between me and being turned on my head.
Robert wasn't a bad man, don't get me wrong, he just liked things upside down... a lot. He had flipped just about everything in the house that wasn't bolted to something, and a few things that had been. The kitchen sink was interesting looking like that but his downstairs neighbors were getting pretty sick of the flooding that was happening every time he tried to wash his dishes. It was getting so that none of his friends or family would come visit him any more. I didn't blame them, this was probably the last time I would either.
"Hold on... check this out!" Robert ran out of the room like a kid on christmas morning getting a new toy to show everyone. Having turned everything he owned upside down he had been making forays into the outside world. First he started buying things he could flip, but now his credit card was maxed out and he had turned to just grabbing things and running. This was the reason for my visit. "Check it out, see?" He returned holding the Henderson's kid upside down by the ankle. The poor little guy was bawling his head off and his face was red as a beet. "Yeah" I said, edging closer to the poker "Look Rob, I'm going to have to give that kid back or things are going to get pretty ugly."
I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't like that one bit. It was him or me now. I dove for the poker.
I had to stare at it for a while... wondering if I had some mechanism somewhere that I had neglected, some wondrous machine running down that only I could make right...
Then I figured out they were talking about my wang.
Wordspew
"Turn it on it's head and it's still a turtle? See?"
Robert pointed proudly at the turtle that he had in fact turn on it's head. I stared at him in the mix of horror and amusement I reserved for really crazy people and made sure the couch was between me and him, just in case he lunged. "Right Rob, right, it sure is!" I tried to keep my voice light and nonthreatening as I moved towards the fireplace and the black iron poker that might be the only thing between me and being turned on my head.
Robert wasn't a bad man, don't get me wrong, he just liked things upside down... a lot. He had flipped just about everything in the house that wasn't bolted to something, and a few things that had been. The kitchen sink was interesting looking like that but his downstairs neighbors were getting pretty sick of the flooding that was happening every time he tried to wash his dishes. It was getting so that none of his friends or family would come visit him any more. I didn't blame them, this was probably the last time I would either.
"Hold on... check this out!" Robert ran out of the room like a kid on christmas morning getting a new toy to show everyone. Having turned everything he owned upside down he had been making forays into the outside world. First he started buying things he could flip, but now his credit card was maxed out and he had turned to just grabbing things and running. This was the reason for my visit. "Check it out, see?" He returned holding the Henderson's kid upside down by the ankle. The poor little guy was bawling his head off and his face was red as a beet. "Yeah" I said, edging closer to the poker "Look Rob, I'm going to have to give that kid back or things are going to get pretty ugly."
I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn't like that one bit. It was him or me now. I dove for the poker.