What is GOOD NEWS, anyway????
The Good News and the Good News leads to Somewhat Good News and Bad News…
Did you get that?? Let me explain…
From about 7 pm to 8:30 pm last night we were ecstatic-we did get two offers on the house. The people who came for the second showing yesterday put in their bid, and it was even better than the first offer we received.
The second offer gave us $100 more than our asking price, a signed waiver for an inspection, no FHA loan, 20% down and $2,000 in earnest money. The only problem? They are FIRM on closing April 24th. So…we thought it over, making a list of both offers, and the second offer won out. Now we have to figure out how we are going to move in a month!!! Holy SHITballs.
The thrill of the moment subsided when I talked to MB, who informed me of the “good news and good news” - there’s an undergrad in our department who lives catty-corner from the church house. The other good news? Dubiously, to be sure, the other good news is that the METH LAB across the street was shut down/confiscated/whateverthefucktheydo. My heart sank, but I tried to stay positive: Yay! The neighborhood is improving and we haven’t even got there yet! YAY! I said, YAYYYY! (fuckity-fuck-fuck)
I told Tim about it. He got really upset. He started thinking we’d made a big mistake. I could see the distress on his face. He talked about our children and how no house is worth jeopardizing his family’s safety. Personally, just between you, me and the lamppost, I was wondering if maybe I should have kept that tidbit to myself.
We talked about it, and with much effort on my part, we steeled our confidence with hope because we had just essentially sold our house-oh, sure it doesn’t close for a month and four days, but it’s a done deal. We put our pens to the contract and signed on the not-so-dotted line, just to find out we are purchasing our “dream home” in a checkered neighborhood. We reasoned that we can help make changes, you know? We can come in and clean up that town.
I slept terribly. I tossed and turned and smacked/gouged Tim in the face with a flailing arm/hand/fingernail. At which point, he delivered a surprised, “What the fuck?” (The f-bombs are flying today) and mentioned something about the possibility of him bleeding. Just before I wounded Tim, I was dreaming Baby Jack was about to fall, slipping down into a cavernous gape between two perpendicular surfaces. What the fuck, indeed.
So this morning, I get up, reassuring myself that everything IS AS IT SHOULD BE. And to double-check the status of the “good news” I went to the local newspaper. There was one story that told me nothing specific about the house/trailer/methlab whatever it was from my future neighborhood. Of course, it’s a small town, so you have to get your news from the source-local residents.
For whatever reason, I decided to look on realtor.com for another house, somewhere in Charleston. And, flipping between windows, I left the newspaper’s website and Googled Lerna IL. One of those generic City Guides popped up - I’ve looked at it before -but for whatever freaking reason, I never saw the big, bold red link about 4 registered sex offenders living in Lerna. That’s a ratio of 79:1, instead of Joliet which is 994:1. I was about to hyperventilate…
When I clicked the link, I was full of hope. After I read the page, my heart started breaking…
OUR FREAKING NEIGHBOR IS A SEXUAL PREDATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the hell did I overlook this?????
Why??????
OMFG.
And how/when do I tell Tim?
I’m wondering, though, if our address being 800, and his being 801-if he was part of the people that got busted in the across-the-street meth lab production. Maybe he’s gone. Maybe he preys on children. I’m so close to tears right now…
We JUST SOLD OUR HOUSE! I’m supposed to be HAPPY! Instead, I’m scared and devastated…
You know…you think you’re moving to a small town and it’s going to be like some freaking Ward-and-June-Cleaver-ish kinda life.
Now I just don’t know….
…and yup…
now I’m crying.
And Tim’s up.
I gotta go. :(