(no subject)
So, I told Mike I am unhappy. we are going to talk about it tonight but i really just want to be able to be my own age and not like 35... sitting around and acting married. i ahte this. i feel so bad because i do love him, but i am not quite sure if i am still in love with him... i dont feel that spark anymore. i dont get all happy when the phone rings. i dont jump when he gets to my house. and he never really plays with my hair or holds me like he used to ... it feels like we're just together to be together. it's been horrible. I really dislike this feeling. i feel like I am falling and there's nothing here to stop me. i want to be able to go out and party on a moments notice, or take a road trip to nh wihtout havin to tell someone. i want to be able to just play a video game or decide to go to bill's five minutes before the show. i really really want to be able to just be me. i feel SO bad though. i feel like this is wrong and i feel like i am being unfair but its not just me. i know that he feels somehitng of the same otherwise he wouldnt be acting as he is. i am SO SO... somthing.