Faith (as in confidence or trust...not Luke's sister)

[dpracket]

"I'm sorry about your patient," Gretchen offered quietly as another nurse walked away from the nurses' station.  Reid looked up from his paperwork briefly, his brow furrowed.  He stared at Gretchen for a moment, nodded, and returned his eyes to the chart.  "Are you okay?" Gretchen asked.

Reid sighed.  "I'm great," he said sarcastically, his tone flat, as he closed the chart and started to walk away.  After a few steps, he stopped and looked up at the ceiling.  Shit.  He turned back around and returned to the desk.  "What I meant to say was:  'I'm fine.  Thank you for asking.'"

Gretchen smiled.  "You're getting better at this, Dr. O.," she teased.  "That was downright polite."

Reid raised his eyebrows, smirked, and looked off to the side as he tapped the chart against his thigh.  "Yeah, ok.  I'll have my pager if you need me."

"Sure thing, Dr. Oliver," Gretchen said sincerely as Reid walked away.

Twenty mintues later, Luke Snyder approached the nurses' station.  "Hi, Gretchen.  Have you seen Dr. Oliver?"

"He's not available at the moment; is there something I can help you with?"

"I have something I need to show him," Luke answered, holding up a file folder.  "It will just take a minute.  Is he on rounds?  Do you know where I can find him.?"

Gretchen looked at Luke and sighed.  "He's probably in the chapel."

"The chapel?" Luke asked.  Certainly Gretchen was mistaken.

Gretchen nodded.   "He goes there sometimes."

Luke huffed out a chuckle.  "We are talking about Dr. Oliver here.  I doubt he's in the chapel..."  Gretchen shrugged her shoulders.  Luke's brow furrowed.  "The chapel?  Dr. Oliver?"

Gretchen nodded.  "Please, don't disturb him.  I expect he'll be back in a few minutes.  I can take the file and give it to him when he returns if you would like."

"No," Luke said, looking down at the folder.  "That's okay.  I'll catch up with him later."

"Okay.  Have a great day, Mr. Snyder," Gretchen said cheerily as she reached for the phone that was ringing on the desk. "Sixth floor Neuro.  This is Gretchen..."

Luke turned around and leaned against the counter.  The chapel?

Luke walked to the elevator.  When the car arrived, he pushed the button for the first floor.  A mintue later, he exited the elevator, walked past admitting, and turned down the side hall.  He slowed down as he approached the chapel.  Maybe this isn't a good idea.  Gretchen had asked him not to disturb Dr. Oliver, but curiosity was getting the better of him.  And in reality, he really did need to get the forms he was holding to Dr. Oliver today.  Luke pulled open the heavy chapel door and found Reid in the second to last row of the small, empty room, midway down the pew.  His head was down, his forehead resting on his upstretched fingertips. Luke made sure the door closed silently and then entered the back row, sitting behind Reid at an angle.  Luke watched Reid sitting motionless in front of him until Reid suddenly raised his head and leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers together.  Luke watched him stare at the flickering candles at the front of the room, feeling like he had trespassed on something personal.  "Can I help you with something, Mr. Snyder?" he said after a few moments. How did he know Luke was there?

Luke startled.  "I'm sorry.  Oh my God, I'm really sorry Doctor Oliver; I mean, Jesus, what was I thinking?"  He let out a small gasp.  "Not Jesus!  Crap...I mean, shoot," Luke reprimanded himself, waiting for lightening to strike and get him out of this awkward moment.  ".....I'm sorry...really...  I shouldn't be here," he stammered, standing up.

Reid turned around.  "Mr. Snyder.......it's okay...what do you need?"

"Oh, um....I have some forms for you to sign," Luke said, holding up the file folder. "But I'll just find you later."

Reid rolled his eyes.  "Come up here; let me see them."

Luke walked to the end of the pew and then walked down the aisle that Reid was in.  Reid had a hand over his eyes and was stretching.  He sat up straight and looked at Luke.  "Hey..."

"Hi," Luke said, sitting down.  Dr. Oliver looked tired.  "Are you okay?" Luke asked.

Reid nodded wearily.  "Yeah..." and looked at the candles again.  They sat in silence.  Reid glanced briefly down at his hands and closed his eyes.  Against his better judgement, Luke put his hand tentatively on the back of Reid's neck.  Reid didn't shrug it off, so Luke rubbed his thumb gently over the skin there.  Luke was surprised when Reid's head dropped forward a bit, inviting the contact.  He massaged Reid's neck while looking forward.  The whole thing was alarmingly and strangely intimate, but for some reason it seemed right.  Luke could feel the knots of tension under Reid's skin, and  the room suddenly felt warm.  After a few moments, Reid lifted his head and sat up straighter.  Luke let his hand fall away.  They sat in silence until Reid spoke, startling Luke slightly again.  "My mother was Catholic," he said softly.  Luke didn't respond and waited for Reid to continue.  "She always prayed for the dead...something about helping them get into heaven...or whatever..."  Reid looked down at his hands and shook his head.  "I don't know how to pray....shit, I don't even know what I believe, so I just............I don't know........I find a quiet place and think about them.  It doesn't mean anything, but....I guess it's the least I can do when they go out of this world on my table..."

"Of course it means something," Luke said reassuringly, somewhat stunned that the normally stoic and sarcastic doctor was sharing something so personal.

Reid watched the candles throw shadows on the walls at the front of the chapel.  Luke turned and looked at Reid.  He could see the sadness in his eyes and realized he never considered the toll patient deaths took on Dr. Oliver.  He actually felt bad for him in that moment, but he couldn't think of anything to say, so he returned his gaze to the candles too.

"She took me to all of these old churches in Boston when I was a kid...they had stained glass windows that seemed ten stories tall," Reid said as he stared ahead.  "...she'd tell me the stories that were depicted in the stained glass.  I always got bored during Mass and looked around at the windows.  Some of them were scary."  Reid rubbed a hand over his face.  "I don't know why I'm telling you this.  It's stupid..."

"It's not stupid," Luke said, looking at Reid's profile.  "It's a great memory.  What was your favorite story?"

Reid thought for a moment.  "The one about the guy who goes away and blows all his money, and then his father welcomes him back."

"The Prodigal Son?"

"Yeah."

"That's a good one," Luke said, smiling.

Reid shrugged.  "Yeah, but  I always thought it sucked for the good son, who did everything right but then missed out on the big party that his slacker brother got.  I don't know...didn't seem exactly fair."

Luke nodded.  "But the message is that just because you're lost, it doesn't mean you can't be found."

Reid sighed.  "Maybe."  They sat in silence for a few moments until Reid spoke.  "What do you think happens?"

"Happens?" Luke asked.

"Yeah...when people die....what do you think happens to them?"  Luke was silent.  "This guy...just awhile ago.  He went into cardiac arrest while I was inside his gray matter.  I know his body died, but...he was a funny guy. He was a high school basketball coach, volunteered at the Y.   I have a hard time reconciling science with the fact that people are all different.  They're not robots. I really  can't believe that it all gets distinguished in an instant."  Reid sighed.

"I'd like to think they go to Heaven, or somewhere different out there..........but I don't know........I used to go to church, but ...........I guess I got a little disillusioned along the way.....there are a lot of churches that think guys like us are going to hell."

Reid nodded.  "I never get used to it.......death winning."  He looked down at his hands.  "One minute they're here, and the next, they're gone.  In a matter of seconds........Just gone."

"It's not your fault," Luke said softly.

"How do you know?"

Luke bumped Reid's shoulder with his.  "Because word has it, you're the best at what you do."

Reid smiled briefly.  "Where'd you hear that?"

Luke chuckled.  "You."

"You need a better source than THAT guy," Reid tried to joke, but it fell flat with the weight of the moment, and he breathed out a sigh.

"I'm sorry," Luke said, resisting the urge to reach out and touch Reid's arm.

"It's not your fault either," Reid said, trying to lighten things.

"No...I mean, I'm sorry I misjudged you."  Reid shook his head.  "No, I mean it, Dr. Oliver...I think I've been shortsighted about you...look, it takes a lot of courage to get up every morning and put yourself on the line, to risk feeling the way you do right now."

Reid shifted in the pew, obviously uncomfortable with Luke complimenting him or feeling sorry for him or whatever it was.  "Let me see those forms," Reid said, putting his hand out toward the file folder in Luke's hand.

Reid opened the file.

Luke watched the doctor reading through the forms.  "Do you have plans for dinner?"

"No, why?" Reid answered, his eyes on the papers in front of him.

"Do you want to come out to the farm for dinner?  My grandmother is cooking.  I'm staying out there now.  It's just the two of us tonight; dad is out of town.  She loves to cook for people, and she always makes way too much food, so I'm sure she wouldn't mind one more for dinner. She's making fried chicken.  She's funny.  At the end of one meal, she always tells you her plans for the next meal."

Reid looked at Luke, his brow furrowed.  "You're inviting me to dinner at your house?"

"Yeah.  I mean, if you want..."

"My car's in the shop.  Katie is supposed to pick me up after work."

"That's okay.  I can drive you home afterwards.  What do you say?"

Reid considered it briefly before answering half-heartedly.  "Yeah, sure.  Okay.  Thanks.  Maybe you should ask your grandmother, first?"

"It'll be fine.  So can you be out of here by 4:30?"

Reid looked at his watch.  "Yeah, I think so."

"Okay," Luke said smiling.  "Meet me by the ER.  I'm parked out back.  Bring those forms, signed, okay?"

Reid nodded as Luke stood up.  "Okay, see you then, Dr. Oliver."

Reid stood up as Luke exited the pew.  "Luke..."

Luke turned to the sound of his first name and chuckled.  Reid looked uncomfortable.  "Maybe we should drop the last name bullshit.  We're working together now, and..."

Luke smiled.  "Okay.....Reid." He curled his lips in, feeling oddly embarrassed to say the doctor's first name. "I don't know if I can call you that...it feels weird....but I'll try."

****************************************

Reid chuckled as they drove up the long, tree-lined, dirt driveway that led to the farm.  "You didn't tell me you lived on Tara Plantation," he joked.

"Shut up; it's not a plantation, it is a farm."

"And what exactly do you farm?  Do you drive a tractor?"

"My father breeds, trains, and sells horses.  We have twelve of them on the property right now.  Two of them are pregnant."

"Wow..."

"We also have some cattle, and in the spring we plant a few acres of corn, which we sell at the farmer's market in the summer.  We have some chickens for eggs, and yes, I do drive a tractor.  I also muck stalls, and I've helped birth colts and calves.  I can herd cattle, and I ride horses."  Luke followed the drive to the back of the house and parked.  "We have a few farm hands who work for us daily, but my dad does a lot of the work himself."  Luke opened his door and hopped down from the truck.  "C'mon, you can meet my grandmother."

As they walked into the house, Reid smelled something sweet.  Emma turned around from the the oven, where she had just pulled out a pan of brownies.  "Well, hello," she said, wiping her hands on a towel and reaching to hug Luke.

"Hi, grandma.  It smells great in here."  He stepped back from Emma's embrace and Emma nodded toward Reid.  "I see you've brought a friend for dinner.  That's wonderful!"

Luke smiled.  "Um, yeah.....Grandma, this is my friend, Dr. Reid Oliver.  Reid, this is my grandmother, Emma Snyder."

"Dr. Oliver!" Emma exclaimed, moving foward and extending her arms.  "I know that name.  You're the man who fixed our Noah, aren't you?"

"Yes, Ma'am.  It's nice to meet you," Reid answered, extending his hand.

"Oh, don't be silly.  Come here." Emma laughed, tugging on Reid's arm and pulling him into a hug.

Reid hugged her awkwardly, and Luke smiled.

Emma held Reid at arm's length to get a good look at him..  "I'm so glad you're here, Dr. Oliver.  What you did for Noah was nothing short of a miracle.  And now he's off making magic in Hollywood.  We are just so proud of him.  Please, take off your jacket and tie, and I'll fetch you boys some lemonade."  She squeezed his arms and then turned toward the fridge.

Luke smiled at Reid, and Reid nodded, tugging at the knot of his tie.

Emma placed two glasses of lemonade on the table.  "Dinner will be ready in an hour and a half; why don't you show Dr. Oliver around the property, Luke? Raymond was using the Polaris earlier, and I think it's on the side of the house.  The weather is beautiful today, and there's bound to be a heavenly sunset out there in about forty five minutes."

Luke looked at Reid questioningly.  Reid took off his suit coat and rolled the sleeves up on his dress shirt before taking a sip of lemonade. "Lead the way, Farmer Ted..."

***************************************************

Luke paused halfway down the dock and turned around.  "Are you coming?" he asked Reid.  Luke already had his shoes and socks off and his jeans rolled up.

"Yeah, no.  I'm not putting my feet in that swamp."

Luke walked back to Reid and tugged on his arm.  "C'mon, Reid...it's refreshing.  Look, I called you by your first name..."  He chuckled.

Reid sighed and followed Luke to the end of the dock.  Luke sat down and dangled his legs over the edge, the water coming up  to just over his ankles.  He looked up at Reid who remained standing.  "I didn't know you were such a wimp, doc..."

Reid rolled his eyes and toed off his shoes.  He pulled off his socks and rolled up his suit pants.  "I'm not dressed for this," he grumbled. He sat down next to Luke and held his feet out in front of him.  "This water doesn't look very clean.  I don't have time to get a bacterial infection."

"It's clean," Luke said.  "The pond is spring-fed...look, you can see the bottom."

"But there's all those green things...seaweed and algea, and..."

"It's a natural lake; not a swimming pool.........I've been swimming here since I was a little boy.  Trust me; it's clean.  You're not drinking it, just putting your FEET in it."

Reid lowered his feet and winced a little when they hit the water.  "It's cold."

"It's not that bad..."

They sat in silence, Reid's feet getting used to the water.  Luke looked over at Reid who was staring at the trees on the other side of the pond, his head cocked.

"What is it?" Luke asked.

Reid shook his head.  "It's quiet out here."

"I know, isn't it great?"

Reid continued to concentrate on the sounds around them.  "I can't hear a single car engine..." He could hear the wind rustling the leaves in the trees and the ducks on the other side of the pond.

Luke smiled.  "I love it here, especially this time of year, when Summer's ending and we're heading into Fall.  The ducks will be leaving soon and a lot of the birds, heading south.  This pond is my home base; if I'm having a bad day or a bad week...MONTH..." He chuckled.  "I come here, and it makes me feel better.  It clears my head.  I can meditate, think things through.  Sometimes, I just close my eyes and listen.  It's relaxing."

Reid watched the sun setting behind the trees, the sky pink and orange.  He closed his eyes a moment.  He heard an owl and the water lapping against the dock pillars.  He took a deep breath, smelling pine and jasmine.  He opened his eyes and looked over at Luke who had his eyes on the setting sun.  He sort of got why Luke liked it here. He felt the day sliding off his shoulders.  The sun was almost touching the horizon.  Reid found himself wishing he could hit the "pause" button and just sit here for a couple more hours.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, until Luke stood up and put his hand down to Reid.  "Thanks," Reid said, taking Luke's hand and letting Luke help him up.  He picked up his shoes and they walked back to the Polaris.  Luke turned it on, along with the light.  "We better get back, so I can feed the dog, wash up, and set the table for Grandma."

"Dog?  I didn't see a dog."

"Leroy.  Ya know, like Bad, Bad Leroy Brown?  Grandma used to always sing that song to Ethan, so he named him.  He's a yellow lab, about five years old.  He runs around the property all day and comes back at night for dinner."

"I had a black lab when I was a kid, but he must have been a mutt because he had a white stripe down his chest.  His name was Oreo."

Luke laughed.  "Did you name him?"

"No...my little sister did."

"A sister, huh?  What's her name?"

"Riley."

"Does she live in Boston?"

"No."

"Do you have any other siblings?"

"No."

Luke saw Reid visibly tense up and look off to the side, so he changed the subject.  "I hope you're hungry.  My grandmother cooks for an army, even when it's only the two of us."

"I'm always hungry."

*****************************************************

Luke pulled dishes down from the cupboard.  "It smells great, Grandma."

Reid nodded his agreement and picked a tennis ball up off the counter.  "Is it okay if I take Leroy outside and throw the ball for him for a few mintues?"

"Of course," Emma answered.  "He would love that."  The dog looked at the tennis ball in Reid's hand and wagged his tail vigorously.

After Reid and the dog walked outside, Emma said, "I'm glad you brought Dr. Oliver home for dinner.  He seems like a nice boy."

Luke chuckled.  "Grandma, he's a man...he's gotta be like forty or something..."

"He's younger than that," Emma hummed.

"And he's not nice.  Well, not usually anyway..."  Luke went to the fridge and got out salad dressing and some sodas.  "He had a rotten day today, lost a patient.  Normally, Dr. Oliver is all gruff and bristled, but today, I don't know...he seemed defeated.  We don't get along..."  Luke shrugged.  "But...today........he seemed like he needed a friend, or maybe a distraction, something to take his mind off of things.  He loves to eat..........and you're the world's best cook, so...I invited him for dinner, and he didn't even insult me before saying yes."

Emma walked over and kissed Luke on the cheek.  "God gave you a heart of gold, my beautiful grandson.  You are such a kind-hearted boy."

"Grandma, I'm a man too."

"Oh, goodness, yes, technically you're a man, but you'll always be a young boy in my eyes..."

"Grandma?  Don't say anything to Reid about what I just told you, okay?"

"Of course not, sweetheart."

*****************************************************

"Mrs. Snyder, that was the best meal I've had in a long time," Reid said, rubbing his stomach.  "I know you weren't expecting company for dinner.  Thank you."

"You're very welcome, Dr. Oliver.  I'm delighted that Luke invited you to dinner this evening.  Any friend of my grandson's is a friend of mine.  It's been nice getting to know you."  She stood up and started to clear the table, but Reid stood up and gently took the plates out of her hands.

"We'll clean up, right, Luke?" he said, looking at Luke.

"Of course.  Grandma.  You cooked; we'll clean."

"Very well, then.  I am a bit tired, and I've got an early morning tomorrow.  I think I'll read in my room and then go to bed."  She kissed Reid on the cheek.  "Goodnight."

"Oh!" Reid said, surprised.  "Goodnight, Mrs. Snyder.  Thank you again."

"There are brownies on the stove if you want dessert before you leave."

Reid nodded and took the plates to the sink.

Emma leaned down and whispered against Luke's ear.  "Remember my rule about sleepovers, please."

Luke laughed.  "Grandma," he said, his voice low, "That's not what this is."

"Okay, love, whatever you say."  She kissed Luke on the cheek.  "You boys enjoy the rest of your evening."

*****************************************************************************
A couple of hours later, the movie they were watching ended.  Reid stretched and yawned.  "Ready for me to take you home?" Luke asked.

"Not really...but yeah, okay."

Their eyes locked for a few moments before Luke stood up nervously.  "Isn't there a full moon tonight?" he asked, as he went to the window and looked outside.

"Not sure," Reid answered.  "Maybe."

Luke looked at his watch.  "9:20...yeah, it might work......it's a clear night......want to see something cool?"

"Sure," Reid answered, his eyebrows going up, glad that Luke wasn't taking him home immediately.

"Okay, c'mon," Luke said, grabbing a blanket and two throw pillows off the couch and a flashlight off the counter.

A few minutes later, they entered the barn, and Luke slid the door closed behind them.

Reid wrinkled his nose at the smell of animals.  "You showed me your beasts of burden earlier, and really,  I don't need to see them again.  And I wouldn't describe them as cool."

Luke shook his head.  He turned off the lights by a switch on the pole near the ladder and turned on the flashlight.   "C'mon, follow me..."  He handed Reid the blanket.

Reid watched Luke climb the ladder up to the hay loft in the dim light and couldn't say he minded the view.  Once in the hayloft, Luke spread the blanket over the hay.  "Lay down," he instructed Reid, nodding toward the pillows.  Reid complied, even though he really didn't relish the idea of lying in dead field grass, because he had a brief notion that maybe he was about to have an actual roll in the hay.  Maybe.  Probably not, but he could dream, right?

"Okay, are you ready?  I hope it's not too early..."

"For what?"

"Watch," Luke said, sliding a window covering open, close to the ceiling.  "The timing has to be perfect. And it's different at different times of the year."  As Luke slid the rustic cover away from the window, moonlight filled the hay loft.  Luke smiled, seeing the moon framed almost perfectly within the window opening.

Reid smiled, all dirty thoughts leaving his mind.  "Wow."

"I know, huh?" Luke asked, lying down next to him.

"It's beautiful," Reid said, mesmerized by the clarity of the moon.

They lay in silence for a number of minutes, before Reid reached over and put his hand over Luke's, both of them looking at the moon.  Their fingers tangled together.  A few moments later, Reid turned his head and looked at Luke.  "You look good covered in moonlight, Mr. Snyder."

The way Reid said his name, deep and gravelly, made something flutter in Luke's chest.  He turned on his side, and Reid rolled onto his side to face him too.  Luke reached out and cupped Reid's cheek before running the back of his knuckles over Reid's stubbled chin.  "I'm sorry you had such a crappy day."

"You made it better," Reid said, unable to hold Luke's gaze.

Luke smiled.  "I didn't do anything, really."

"You distracted me," Reid responded, returning his eyes to Luke.

"With food?" Luke chuckled.

"Inviting me out here.  Showing me around."  Reid rolled over onto his back and looked up at the rafters.  "You didn't have to do it..."

"You were hurting."

Reid rolled his eyes.  "Don't make me sound weak."

"Caring doesn't make you weak."  Reid breathed out a sigh and looked at the moon, the top of which was now outside of the window frame.  "Does it ever make you cry?  Patients dying?"

Reid pshawed.

"Lair," Luke said, but not in a teasing way.

Reid turned onto his side, facing Luke again, and Luke could see the truth in his eyes.  Reid thumbed Luke's chin and nodded just slightly. "I want to kiss you."  "

Then kiss me," Luke replied, putting his hand on the back of Reid's neck and pulling his mouth to his.  They kissed softly, but Reid soon deepend the kiss, rolling over so that he was above Luke.

When the kiss broke, Reid said, "I've wanted to do that for a long time."

Luke smiled.  "Me too."