Why does the past have to be so sad?

[dpetty21]

I got off work at like 1:40am and decided to drive around listening to Angels & Airwaves (Tom Delonge's new band) and it made me sad. I was just thinking about random ass things and getting sad. I miss my old friends alot. Some more than others. I miss being with them all the time. I extremely miss Joe, Dave, and all of that group of friends. I was thinking how much I didn't take advantage of hanging out with them when I could have because I didn't drive and hung out with people who did. I always loved that group of friends the most. Joe is the best friend I could ever have and now he is down in Cincinnati( I always fuck that word up). Dave, well I haven't hung out with him in over a year and it sucks. Everybody else is doing their own thing via Cinci, Army, whatever it is they're doing. Everyone is seperate. I miss being a fuck up. I'm happy I'm not and I'm happy I have a wonderful girlfriend to be with all the time and I love my newer friends. I just wish sometimes things would go back to how they were before. I wish I didn't have the responsibility of a car and all that. I mean I wouldn't change anything because I love Sarah to death but still.. I wish I could just have more free time to call up people and hang out with them. I wish I was in Cinci or I wish Joe and Rachel could just move to Cleveland Heights when I do in the fall. I'm nervous about moving. I'm happy about it too. I hate knowing that I'm going to be twenty-one in December. I wish I was 17 again. I think sometimes I just get sad for the sole purpose of being sad. I think about stupid small things and get sad thinking about them. The past in general makes me sad. I wish I could stop time right now. Bring some friends back together first but freeze time after I make everything how I want it to be. It's nice out and I want to walk somewhere. Where is Joe when I need him? Sometimes I just want to go do a bunch of stupid things and get really fucked up for no reason. I don't know why. I still think Sarah is too good to be true. Why she is still with me I'll never know.

Sarahs grad party is Saturday. I'm looking forward to it especially since Monday thru Friday is going to blow a big fucking elephant dick.

I may be getting a job at the Gas Dock at Mentor Harbor Yacht Club. That will be awesome. I will actually have money this summer. If all works out as planned the latest I will work at either job is 9 pm. I will be off Saturdays and Mondays will be the only day I can't do shit. Hooray for summer!

It is way to fucking hot and I'm going to end this now.