come down now.
i am making myself sick.
i had a huge breakdown today.
everything is just coming down on me. and it felt good.
because i felt something today. i haven't felt real feelings
in a while. i've been walking around like a zombie for
the past few weeks.
and i've decided this is foolish.
pretending and wondering.
i'm not going to do this to myself anymore. so instead
of keeping it hidden or making this friends only i'm just
going to say what is on my mind...
-my heart hurts really bad.
-i've been having a hard time functioning lately.
-i'm a daydreamer.
-i hate how molly and emily don't get alone.
-i aslo wish i stood up for molly more.
-hey yeah. i'm failing math. literally failing. i'm getting a 55 i think.
-i'm afraid to fail. i've never done it before.
-college scares the crap out of me.
-i have a mouth like a sailor. oh man do i swear.
-pirate day is going to be stupid. because i don't know how to dress.
-i wish i talked to matt rogers more i miss him.
-also i want to talk/hang out with emily c and michelle more cause they always seemed super cool. and i feel like i never gave them a chance.
-i haven't really cried for my grandfather yet. i'm not sure if i even miss him.
-jordan kissed me. a bunch of times.
-my job blows.
-i don't like neal touching me.
-brant is gone. and it hurts. really bad.
-i took everything down in my room that reminds me of him. i'm beginning to erase him.
-i'm not handling this situation like a child.
-i am really fake.
-blink 182 used to be my favorite band.
-my biggest fear is the dark.
-i think my parents deserve a better child than me.
-saturday i hope to hang out with rou.
-i plan on piercing my lip over the summer. for real.
-basketball makes me upset.
-i really want to get coffee with mike cap.
-i lost almost ten pounds because i didn't eat a month ago.
-my neighbors are weird.
-i still have nail polish on my toes from last summer.
-people who bite their nails creep me out.
-scooters are stupid.
-i plan to go all out for spirit week. watch out mercy.
-i stole my highlighters from my mom's work.
-if there is one thing i want to say to everyone...it's sorry.
-i did over 80 hours for community service.
-pea soup is one of my favorite foods.
-if i could be anything i'd be really punk.
-it makes me sad to think ashley lost her grandmother.
-my grandmother made me sad on easter.
-scary movies cheer me up.
-i have really good friends. and i don't treat them that well.
-guilt is something i feel everyday.
-i really look up to my father.
-andy is one of my best friends.
-i've told him i loved him before and really meant it.
-i hate not driving.
-mullets need to die.
-all i listen to is the postal service and saves the day.
-i pray for my enemies at night.
-sometimes i rather just be in the car than home.
-i want to go to church more. but by myself.
-kayleigh deserves a better car.
-sometimes when i am in public i feel like i don't belong.
-i once had a crush on dscout. like everyone else.
-wow yeah i like anime.
-pride and prejudice is my favorite book but i don't own it.
-i am very vain even though i think i'm fat.
-i listen to the oldies when i'm in the car with my dad.
-middle school almost killed me.
-at night i cry a lot.
-i don't like being home alone.
-my hair is naturally curly even though i straighten it almost everyday.
-i'm playing softball this year with 7th graders.
-sometimes i find it hard to talk.
-according to everyone i say dpaps wrong.
-i didn't hold andy's hand.
-domestic violence projects for psychology make me sad.
-my favorite class is ceramics.
-i miss being really little.
-i tend to watch disney movies when i'm sick.
-ear infections and pink eye makes me want to die.
-english is hard for me this year.
-this list felt really good.
i'm done for now. thank you for putting
up with me. i really do love you all.
♥
i had a huge breakdown today.
everything is just coming down on me. and it felt good.
because i felt something today. i haven't felt real feelings
in a while. i've been walking around like a zombie for
the past few weeks.
and i've decided this is foolish.
pretending and wondering.
i'm not going to do this to myself anymore. so instead
of keeping it hidden or making this friends only i'm just
going to say what is on my mind...
-my heart hurts really bad.
-i've been having a hard time functioning lately.
-i'm a daydreamer.
-i hate how molly and emily don't get alone.
-i aslo wish i stood up for molly more.
-hey yeah. i'm failing math. literally failing. i'm getting a 55 i think.
-i'm afraid to fail. i've never done it before.
-college scares the crap out of me.
-i have a mouth like a sailor. oh man do i swear.
-pirate day is going to be stupid. because i don't know how to dress.
-i wish i talked to matt rogers more i miss him.
-also i want to talk/hang out with emily c and michelle more cause they always seemed super cool. and i feel like i never gave them a chance.
-i haven't really cried for my grandfather yet. i'm not sure if i even miss him.
-jordan kissed me. a bunch of times.
-my job blows.
-i don't like neal touching me.
-brant is gone. and it hurts. really bad.
-i took everything down in my room that reminds me of him. i'm beginning to erase him.
-i'm not handling this situation like a child.
-i am really fake.
-blink 182 used to be my favorite band.
-my biggest fear is the dark.
-i think my parents deserve a better child than me.
-saturday i hope to hang out with rou.
-i plan on piercing my lip over the summer. for real.
-basketball makes me upset.
-i really want to get coffee with mike cap.
-i lost almost ten pounds because i didn't eat a month ago.
-my neighbors are weird.
-i still have nail polish on my toes from last summer.
-people who bite their nails creep me out.
-scooters are stupid.
-i plan to go all out for spirit week. watch out mercy.
-i stole my highlighters from my mom's work.
-if there is one thing i want to say to everyone...it's sorry.
-i did over 80 hours for community service.
-pea soup is one of my favorite foods.
-if i could be anything i'd be really punk.
-it makes me sad to think ashley lost her grandmother.
-my grandmother made me sad on easter.
-scary movies cheer me up.
-i have really good friends. and i don't treat them that well.
-guilt is something i feel everyday.
-i really look up to my father.
-andy is one of my best friends.
-i've told him i loved him before and really meant it.
-i hate not driving.
-mullets need to die.
-all i listen to is the postal service and saves the day.
-i pray for my enemies at night.
-sometimes i rather just be in the car than home.
-i want to go to church more. but by myself.
-kayleigh deserves a better car.
-sometimes when i am in public i feel like i don't belong.
-i once had a crush on dscout. like everyone else.
-wow yeah i like anime.
-pride and prejudice is my favorite book but i don't own it.
-i am very vain even though i think i'm fat.
-i listen to the oldies when i'm in the car with my dad.
-middle school almost killed me.
-at night i cry a lot.
-i don't like being home alone.
-my hair is naturally curly even though i straighten it almost everyday.
-i'm playing softball this year with 7th graders.
-sometimes i find it hard to talk.
-according to everyone i say dpaps wrong.
-i didn't hold andy's hand.
-domestic violence projects for psychology make me sad.
-my favorite class is ceramics.
-i miss being really little.
-i tend to watch disney movies when i'm sick.
-ear infections and pink eye makes me want to die.
-english is hard for me this year.
-this list felt really good.
i'm done for now. thank you for putting
up with me. i really do love you all.
♥