(no subject)
I've been told repeatedly that it was wrong for me....that i'll get hurt in the end...why didn't i listen?
All i want and have ever wanted was to know what was going on in your mind. I was never allowed that though. I have done that so many times for you, even if it wasn't in the right way. I thought communication was key. It hurts me so much more to not get a response even if I was being a total bitch. I just don't think you realize how scared I was. I didn't want to lose you...so i just threw you away. I don't know if that was the right thing to do. And...i'll probably never hear from you anymore. Thats what bothers me, thats what keeps me awake at night, thats what i think about when i zone out. I don't even know if you care anymore...and I never got reassured. When i come at you with certain topics, you always made me feel like what I was saying was accurate and that reassuring me that everything was ok didn't even cross your mind. Why did I do this to myself? I get so consumed in what could happen that i lose sight of what is going on.
Disappointment is the theme of my life....
All i want and have ever wanted was to know what was going on in your mind. I was never allowed that though. I have done that so many times for you, even if it wasn't in the right way. I thought communication was key. It hurts me so much more to not get a response even if I was being a total bitch. I just don't think you realize how scared I was. I didn't want to lose you...so i just threw you away. I don't know if that was the right thing to do. And...i'll probably never hear from you anymore. Thats what bothers me, thats what keeps me awake at night, thats what i think about when i zone out. I don't even know if you care anymore...and I never got reassured. When i come at you with certain topics, you always made me feel like what I was saying was accurate and that reassuring me that everything was ok didn't even cross your mind. Why did I do this to myself? I get so consumed in what could happen that i lose sight of what is going on.
Disappointment is the theme of my life....