(no subject)
Maybe when it comes to you I am a bad friend...I dunno. I try to make things work but then there ALWAYS has to be something wrong. Why can't there be one day that we get to hang out without there being awkwardness at one point or how bout after a good day i don't receive a message of some sort telling me that while we were out i did something wrong. It would just be nice to think that you had a little bit more faith in our friendship. guess i'm going to end up like all the others cuz you refuse to let things be. I always thought of myself as a good friend; i listen and i gave the best advice i could. I'd sit there while you cried and tried to make you feel better, i always took care of you when you couldn't take care of yourself. Besides that one time, this ONE TIME, i always ask if you are ok when you look like that. It just insults me when you think that i don't care.
Then there is you...who I never know if you are serious or not...i don't know if i should say something cuz everytime I do you get upset...thinking about that it sounds a bit hypocritical, but in this case i just want to know if you are serious and not talk crap..
and you...worst of all...I still feel like i'm not good enough. I want to say this to your face, buuuuut i don't want to feel bad like i do everytime b/c i get why it is the way it is, but damnit...its not what i want at all and i'm not content with it in the least bit.
School is almost done and i'll be out of this area and back at home. I've needed this for a long time. I misss home. I miss my friends from home. I miss my family, my bed, my cats. I miss the randomness that could occur at 3 in the morning with someone who is interested in going to the diner cuz we're bored. Or random drunkness just cuz we can do it. I just need to see them and get away from here for just a little....bu i'll be working.and therefore i'll be at work on the days they are all freee..which means i don't get to see them...maybe i need a new job? hmmmm
I just need change
Then there is you...who I never know if you are serious or not...i don't know if i should say something cuz everytime I do you get upset...thinking about that it sounds a bit hypocritical, but in this case i just want to know if you are serious and not talk crap..
and you...worst of all...I still feel like i'm not good enough. I want to say this to your face, buuuuut i don't want to feel bad like i do everytime b/c i get why it is the way it is, but damnit...its not what i want at all and i'm not content with it in the least bit.
School is almost done and i'll be out of this area and back at home. I've needed this for a long time. I misss home. I miss my friends from home. I miss my family, my bed, my cats. I miss the randomness that could occur at 3 in the morning with someone who is interested in going to the diner cuz we're bored. Or random drunkness just cuz we can do it. I just need to see them and get away from here for just a little....bu i'll be working.and therefore i'll be at work on the days they are all freee..which means i don't get to see them...maybe i need a new job? hmmmm
I just need change