Implosion, part 1

Jun 11, 2010 21:11

Artie's Office
Warehouse 13
South Dakota

The replica sword, Artie thinks, is one of his finest works to date. Oh, certainly it doesn't compare to a proper katana, but for a week and a half's work it's pretty damn good. He's quite proud of it.

And of course, no sooner does he bring it to the Warehouse than Pete Lattimer decides to start playing ninja with the sword as a prop.

"Ah-ah-ah-ah!" Artie yelps at the younger agent as he walks into the room. "Lift the point! Off the floor!"

"Ah, sorry--" Pete stops leaning on the sword and lifts it up.

"Put it down. Put it down. Gently. Blade up, blade up, blade up--" Artie grabs the sword away the instant Pete lays it in the cradle, wiping it down with a polishing cloth.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry, Artie. It's, uh... that is really cool."

"Oh, thank you. I try."

Myka, who's been watching quietly, looks surprised. "You--you made this?"

"In record time, too. With the help of--things." Artie gestures vaguely in the direction of the Warehouse proper, then goes back to polishing. "This is a copy of the finest samurai sword ever forged. The Honjo Masamune, owned by the ruling family in Japan for centuries, before it disappeared. The real one was unearthed a few weeks ago at a dig site in Okinawa." He slides the sword into its scabbard, picks up a set of photographs from the table and hands them to Pete.

"The real one," echoes Myka. "Which does what?"

"Which will arrive in DC first thing in the morning in order to be presented as a gift to the President," replies Artie. "But that's not gonna happen, because you two? Are gonna intercept it at the Japanese embassy."

"That wasn't what I meant--"

"No, I know what you meant, but you've gotta pack and you've gotta catch a plane and it really doesn't matter, does it, what the real sword does? Because, remember, 'snag it, bag it, tag it'? Well--" he pulls the door open-- "Get snagging, bagging, and tagging. You're off to swap a Masamune for an Artie Nielsen."

Myka gives Artie a weird look, but heads out the door anyway. Pete takes the sheathed sword with an exaggerated bow. "Arigatou."

"Bitte schön," replies Artie.

"What?"

"Get out."

"Okay." And they're gone.

[Dialogue from Warehouse 13 episode 1x08, "Implosion."

canon, season 1

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