Regrets, part 3

Aug 18, 2010 16:26

Artie's Office
Warehouse 13
South Dakota

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claudia donovan, canon, season 1

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claudiometer September 9 2010, 00:49:38 UTC
The source of said SOS is frankly amazed she managed to bang it out at all (man that is going to smart tomorrow, and probably the next day - assuming she survives this), between all the crap she's attracted and how hard it's gotten to freaking move. Not that she's arguing if it helps Artie find her!
"ARTIE!"
NOT ARGUING AT ALL THIS IS NOT FUN ANYMORE.

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doyousmellfudge September 9 2010, 00:59:43 UTC
The continued banging and Claudia's screaming leads Artie straight to a support girder in Portugal sector. The fully functional Shelby light up above, and the shattered remains of another beneath his feet, tell him most of what he needs to know.

Grabbing the Farnsworth out of midair before it can leap onto that cluster of stuff on the girder next to the light fixture tells him everything else he needs to know.

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claudiometer September 9 2010, 01:02:18 UTC
That's because Artie is Smart like that! But, you know, she'll tell him anyway.
"Oh, hi, Artie! Hi! Funny story." Claudia's trying not to panic, and doing a really, really terrible job of it. "So, um, I kinda tried to fix this light bulb, even though you expressly told me not to, and man, have I ever learned my lesson. You were so right about this place, you just... never know what to expect!"
:D? ...D:

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doyousmellfudge September 9 2010, 01:03:22 UTC
...>_

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claudiometer September 9 2010, 01:05:05 UTC
"Okay, you're pissed." This surprises her not at all. "Can we move past that part for now and get to the part where you get me down from here?"
Before any skyscrapers come flying toward her? THAT WOULD BE NICE.

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doyousmellfudge September 9 2010, 01:10:16 UTC
Artie eyes her wardrobe dubiously. "That wouldn't be Volta's lab coat that you're wearing?"

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claudiometer September 9 2010, 01:12:39 UTC
"Oh, part of the hilarious story that I should really tell you when I'm back on planet Earth."
Translation: Yes.

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doyousmellfudge September 9 2010, 01:15:36 UTC
"The reason, Claudia, that Volta's lab coat is in the Warehouse," says Artie in a voice just shy of a shout, "is because Volta couldn't control its magnetic field. As you may have noticed, each metallic object that it connects to makes the coat stronger and stronger."

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claudiometer September 9 2010, 01:20:51 UTC
"That explains so much. Thank you!"
She's caught on to that part, Artie. It's just that she noticed it when, you know, she got to the top of the girder...

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doyousmellfudge September 9 2010, 01:25:25 UTC
Something is yanked sharply off of Artie's face, and the world goes fuzzy.

"My glasses--!" He reaches out for them futilely, but they're already far out of reach, clinging to Claudia's shoulder. "Those better not be scratched!" he calls up at her.

* * *

Volta's lab coat predates Artie's tenure at the Warehouse, which is a shame. If he'd been there when it was collected, he might have some idea of how to deactivate the thing. But after a quick trip back to the office to collect some notes, and a side trip to Nicaragua Sector for a few supplies, Artie thinks he's got a rig that will siphon off the coat's power. Hopefuly. Maybe.

"Okay, now, I've got these magnets, they're attached to this thing, when I let go they're coming right at you. They'll stick to you and the stuff near you, okay? Here they come--"

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claudiometer September 9 2010, 01:41:41 UTC
"Okay, they're on." Well, one of them's on her head and the other's on... the bucket, she thinks; hopefully that'll do the trick.
"Would it have killed you to put a warning label on this thing?"

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doyousmellfudge September 9 2010, 01:45:19 UTC
"Saying what? 'Only Put On In Case Of Stupid'?!"

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claudiometer September 9 2010, 01:50:25 UTC
It's the same principle as not putting any useful information on the Milliways door. Which means Artie's not gonna give any ground, since he thinks everyone takes DO NOT TOUCH at face value. Besides, Claudia's got better things to argue about right now.
"Just - just bottom-line this for me, Artie."

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doyousmellfudge September 9 2010, 01:52:00 UTC
What part of 'things get put in the Warehouse because they're dangerous' is so hard to comprehend?

"Worst-case scenario?"

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claudiometer September 9 2010, 01:59:07 UTC
"Oh, why not?"

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doyousmellfudge September 9 2010, 02:01:26 UTC
"The entire Warehouse buckles in on itself, crushing us both to death," says Artie in the same tone he might use to talk about the weather.

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