(no subject)
I WANT TO CATCH UP WITH DOUUUUUGGGGGGG. i do not like that we have become irrelevant to eachother's lives.
days and days and maybe weeks of discomfort with life. NOT the good kind during which i'm unsatisfied and still learning things, but the dumb kind. The kind of discomfort i can't remember experiencing. the kind where i feel like a fucking worthless drone 97% of the time and am unable to form a worthwhile thought or even a tiny worthwhile sentance.
that's all over now and my self has returned. Intelligent conversation. what? Visiting bryce helped. how is it that one of the least retarded people in my life is barely in my life? I want to send him a carepackage. maybe just a giant box with a letter in the bottom. he'd never get it though the people in the jail would probably think i'm sending anthrax or something. not at all yo. not at all. i can't even find a stable pot dealer...let alone someone who would have access to that kind of thing.
Anyway...yea. slump. pretty much disappeared. car wreck. stupid thing. everyone gets in one. but this one was just the kick in the ass that i needed. an added motivation for remaining aware.
no insurance = i could have been fucked beyond my own ability to undo. These people are being really fucking cool though and i'm going to take care of them. In order to take care of them, as well as myself and the enormous amount of debt that i've collected, it was neccessary to quit school and get a second job. So i did. I start at the coffee joint on tuesday. Red lobster is not happy. they're being dicks so as backup, i think i'll put in applications at other places as well. I'm not going to be able to have even a week where i'm not working 2 places, so it seems like a good idea. anyway...i have about 5000 in debt to pay off - which i plan to pay off in the next 6-7 months. Add to that: taking care of Romel and Jackie's car. yikes. i'm screwed. I'M FUCKING EXCITED.
days and days and maybe weeks of discomfort with life. NOT the good kind during which i'm unsatisfied and still learning things, but the dumb kind. The kind of discomfort i can't remember experiencing. the kind where i feel like a fucking worthless drone 97% of the time and am unable to form a worthwhile thought or even a tiny worthwhile sentance.
that's all over now and my self has returned. Intelligent conversation. what? Visiting bryce helped. how is it that one of the least retarded people in my life is barely in my life? I want to send him a carepackage. maybe just a giant box with a letter in the bottom. he'd never get it though the people in the jail would probably think i'm sending anthrax or something. not at all yo. not at all. i can't even find a stable pot dealer...let alone someone who would have access to that kind of thing.
Anyway...yea. slump. pretty much disappeared. car wreck. stupid thing. everyone gets in one. but this one was just the kick in the ass that i needed. an added motivation for remaining aware.
no insurance = i could have been fucked beyond my own ability to undo. These people are being really fucking cool though and i'm going to take care of them. In order to take care of them, as well as myself and the enormous amount of debt that i've collected, it was neccessary to quit school and get a second job. So i did. I start at the coffee joint on tuesday. Red lobster is not happy. they're being dicks so as backup, i think i'll put in applications at other places as well. I'm not going to be able to have even a week where i'm not working 2 places, so it seems like a good idea. anyway...i have about 5000 in debt to pay off - which i plan to pay off in the next 6-7 months. Add to that: taking care of Romel and Jackie's car. yikes. i'm screwed. I'M FUCKING EXCITED.