6.3.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! XD
don't say i never get you anything >.> loooool! PREVIOUSLY: the Doyles had to move from France to Appaloosa Plains because EA hates me, their bb's grew up, the Doyles got a dog named Lola, aaaaaand... that's about it. now, on with the show!
ever since Jordan's birthday, this is all that he ever does. yes, ladies and gentleman, he has retreated to the world of the internets.
Taylor: Hello Isis, I am going to feed you today, okay?
true to his word, Jordan not only shares his pet snake with his little sister -
- but his computer, too. well... when he's not using it, that is.
last time i forgot to show everyone a shot of the master bathroom, which is fairly standard. the property also came with that giant shop at the back of the yard, which you could park an enormous Winnebago in if you so chose. but, Conchord - being the loving husband that he is - converted part of it into a painting studio for Lily.
Lola: My human is so talented.
as you can see, she gets pretty good use out of the space. but the best part?
plenty of places for Lola to park her furry rear-end.
also, they cleared up a spot for a rather huge garden.
one particularly sunny weekend, Con took the kids to the grocery to pick up some stuff for Taylor's upcoming birthday party.
Taylor: Wait for me, Jordan! Wait for me!
Jordan: Hurry up, shorty.
jfc: best. brother. EVER.
while Con had the kids busy, Lily went to the crazy vampire-cat-hoarder's house to pick out a kitten for Taylor's birthday present. that bitch is super creepy, i mean she was weird before, but with the vampire fangs it's even worse.
immediately Lily zeroed in on this special looking fella. my lawd, look at that half-squint and those cocked front legs. yikes.
Lily: I'll take him!
of course you will. can't have a normal animal in the Doyle household, that's just not acceptable.
Lily: Now, how am I going to keep a cat hidden from my daughter for the next few days?
i have no idea, that's all on you, girlfriend.
meanwhile, the garden is starting to grow very nicely indeed.
and the day of Taylor's party dawns awesome and full of win.
Grandma Katie: Hey special birthday girl!
Taylor: Hi grandma!
Katie: Let me get a good look at you. Yep! Still cute as the day you were born.
Itsy: Hey there kiddo!
Taylor: Grandpa, can I ask you something?
Itsy: Sure thing, pumpkin.
Taylor: Where do babies come from?
Itsy: ...!
Itsy: I have no idea.
you are such a liar.
and the blowing out of the birthday cake commenced!
Taylor: I want a pony. And then I want more ponies. And maybe a kitten.
Taylor: Hells yeah!
*le poof*
i love how excited Lily is right now.
BAZINGA.
you're adorable, and you know it.
and Taylor finally meets her birthday present: Fuzzball.
Taylor: AWWW! It's a cute wittle kitty cat! I am gonna carry you around with me everywhere, yes I am!
Fuzzball: Hell yes, I will never have to walk again! *HALLELUJAH*
i see obesity in this cat's future >.>
*smoochie smoochie smooch*
he is really cute, i ain't gonna lie, even if he does look like someone slammed a door in his face.
fine ass bitch, unf.
Taylor still enjoys the shit out of that trampoline, even as a teenager lol
also as a birthday present from Grandpa Itsy and Grandma Katie, Taylor got to go sign up for riding lessons, which she does faithfuly everyday after school, and has become horse-obsessed.
Fuzzball is a lazy sum-bitch and rarely comes out of his cat tree.
meanwhile, Taylor and her lesson horse, Sugar, are becoming BFF's.
she is becoming so horse crazed, her family is about ready to shoot themselves so they don't have to hear about how awesome Sugar is anymore. Conchord has threatened to kill Itsy and Katie both for this fuckery.
Lily: Taylor, we need to have a discussion about this horse business.
Taylor: What? It's not like I am using drugs or anything, at least I am not getting pregnant and partying all the time.
Lily: Don't get all defensive, I just want to talk.
Taylor: You must think I am royally stupid, I know what you guys say behind my back, that all I ever do is talk about Sugar, and that I won't shut up about horses, and it drives you all crazy.
Lily: Taylor, honey-
Lily: -I've been trying to tell you that your father and I talked it over, and we decided it would be cheaper if you stopped taking lessons.
Taylor: This is unbelievable. I can't even.
Lily: You won't be needing them anyways when Sugar is right outside in the paddock at the side of the house.
Taylor: This is such bull-
Taylor: Wait a minute. Are you messing with me right now? Am I being punked? Did you just say that Sugar was right outside OH MY GOD EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
punk'd she was not.
yuuuup. Sugar officially joined the family. d'awwww.
and Taylor was never seen indoors fromt hat day hence lol
it could be worse, she could be out smoking weed or something, i say let the kid do her thang.
and she so did, trust me. *eyeroll*
Lily: So am I the world's coolest mom now?
Taylor: Like there was every any doubt!
Lily: WHEE!
meanwhile, Jordan has began casually dating Lauren Moss, the daughter of Raleigh Tidball and Archer Moss. she looks like a Tidball, like whoa. and is very adorable i might add.
Jordan: Before you enter my room for the first time, I just want to say a few words.
Lauren: O... kay.
Jordan: I cannot be held accountable for neither the sights nor smells that you are about to encounter, and therefore must be held exempt from any and all negative feelings you might incurr forthwith.
Lauren: This is not very encouraging.
Taylor: Ready to go for a ride?
Taylor: I bet you are, my good girl! Yes you are!
baby talking the horse, jeez lol
Sugar: Dis some good apple, yo.
Conchord: *whistles nonchalantly* Morning sweetheart!
Taylor: OMG! Cannot. Unsee.
unfortunately from all the horsie-tiemz, Taylor's grades were slipping, so her parents made a deal with her. get a B+ in math, and you can get another horse to keep Sugar company. so, to help things along, Taylor went to the smartest guy in her high school:
Leighton Bravo, the son of Johnny Bravo and some random sim from my bin. Taylor went by his house over the weekend to see if he'd be willing to help her out.
Leighton: If I am going to be tutoring you, then I need to lay down some ground rules.
Taylor: Sure, sure. So long as I get a B+ and my new horse.
Leighton: ... riiight. When you're here at my house, you are here to study, not to text your friends, or to let me do all of your work for you. No. Not how this works. You do the work yourself, and I will help you learn it.
Taylor: Okie doke.
Leighton: Yeah. We'll start on Monday.
that Monday Taylor patiently waited for Leighton outside of school so they could walk to his house and hit the books, making her one step closer to that new pony.
however, Leighton regretted his decision almost as soon as they had sat down to work.
Taylor: Did you know that an Arabian horse has one less rib, one less lumbar bone, and one or two fewer tail vertebrae than other horses?
Leighton: *sigh* Fascinating.
Taylor: Or did you know that a horse's heart weighs nine pounds? Isn't that amazing?
Leighton: We are here to study, and so far I am the only one doing that.
Taylor: All right, all right. Jeez. You're so uptight.
Taylor: There, I have my homework out, are you happy now?
Leighton: Not even remotely, now, you just do the problems, and I'll be able to estimate where your weak spots are by reviewing the answers.
Taylor: Pssh. I got this.
10 minutes later:
Taylor: I don't got this.
by that fond smile, i'd say that she's growing on you, Leighton.
with Leighton's help, she was able to get another horse, this time a male horse named Magic.
Taylor decided to ride him over to Leighton's house that evening, and show him what he helped her get witht hat B+ grade. not that he was going to appreciate it that much, being the, ah, scientific type. which is just a polite way of saying nerd.
Leighton: Yep. It's a horse. Okay, I am going back inside now-
Taylor: No way, you get to ride him a little bit, as a thank you from me to you. Go ahead, get on.
Leighton: You must be joking. How am I even suppose to get up there?
Taylor: Put your foot in the stirrup, the loop thingy hanging by his stomach.
Leighton: Hnngh. This is a lot harder than it looks.
Taylor: Now pull yourself up!
Leighton: HRRRGGHHHH!
Leighton: Now what?
Taylor: Now touch his sides with your feet. Go on.
Magic: I hate you for this.
Leighton: Am I doing it right? *is terrified out of his mind*
Taylor: *gigglesnort* Yeah. *gigglggiggle* Close enough.
<3
and then they hauled ass home juuuust before curfew.
Jordan continued to get lost on the interwebs, as well as in his online chess club and trolling science forums with his badass logic skills. he's something of a dork, ya'll, but he's a good looking one.
Prom reared it's ugly head, and unfortunately Taylor had no potential prospects, since she always had her heads in the clouds, dreaming about ponies, and neglecting her friends who were not of the four legged variety. Jordan, of course, was going with Lauren.
Taylor: Crap. I guess I could always ask Leighton if he wants to go. I mean, just as friends.
Taylor: Yeah. Just friends. People do it all the time.
*deep breath*
Taylor: Shit, it's ringing.
Taylor: Leighton! Heeeey. Funny story, actually.
Taylor: I was just standing here - I mean, sitting here, relaxed, you know, doing my thang... ahahaha... aha... yeah.
*pace*
Taylor: Anyhoo, I was just thinking to myself, "Self, you know what would be kind of... cool? Going to the prom with Leighton, you know, just as friends and whatnot, no pressure."
Taylor: You will? Awesome. Cool. Come to my house around seven, we'll carpool with my brother.
Taylor: In my head, that went a lot smoother.
Taylor: This should be fun.
unfortunately, the night of the prom Jordan was working at his part time job, so he was a half hour late, and dressed like a douche. but, that's all right, at least he made it at all.
Lily: Picture time!
Taylor: Moooom. Hurry up, he'll be here any minute.
Taylor: How's my hair? Why am I nervous?
and Leighton showed up, looking all James Bond.
i had the night's events written down on a pad of paper, but i seem to have lost it. suffice to say, from what i remember, nothing embarassing happened, but Jordan and Taylor shared the crown of King and Queen of the prom, which is just creepy.
poor Conchord had to celebrate his birthday alone out in the horse pasture with Magic.
Magic: Mazeltov!
DILF.
prom pictures!
awkward.
Fuzzball also had a birthday, and he actually turned out more normal than i thought he would. he's still a lazy bastard, though, and quite fat.
also, a sidenote i forgot to mention in the grand scheme of things, Magic and Sugar bow-chica-bow-wow'd, and they're expecting a bb horse. exciting!
and our Jr. astronomer got down with some serious star searching.
i think Jordan is going to end up in the Science career, i mean, it just fits the kid.
congrats, Magic! you're a daddy now!
yep, that's right, Magic and Sugar had a bb named Jubilee, and she's a cutie patootie.
the entire family loves Jubilee, mostly they love feeding her. spam to follow:
i love how Taylor is like, professional and shit. she really looks like she knows what she is doing lol!
/FIN
Con: Hey hon, can we talk?
Taylor: Sure daddy.
this is his SRS BSNS face.
Taylor: What do you want to talk about?
Con: Well, honey, it's about your future.
Taylor: My future? What are you talking about?
Taylor: I've got a future!
asdfghjkl;! so. cute.
Con: You do?
Taylor: Yep. Horses.
Con: That's not exactly the answer I was looking for, honey. Your brother has his science, and more than likely going to college, and you've got... horses?
Con: I don't mean to be a dick, but, what in the hell are you smoking?
Taylor: I can make money off of my horses, just you watch and see. If I work really hard, I could be a jockey, or even a cross-country jumper. I can even breed horses and sell them, it's not like I haven't thought about this.
Taylor: I have even thought about running my own horse rescue, for abused and neglected horses. I have options, dad.
Taylor: No problem.
Taylor: I've got it covered.
Con: Just promise me you'll go to college, at least for a year? That way you have something to fall back on.
Con: Not that I think you will fail, just, please, put my mind at ease.
Con: The world can be a realy crap-storm sometimes, I just want you to be prepared for whatever life hands you.
Con: What do you say?
Taylor: All right, one year, but after that, I am going to dedicate fully to my horses.
Con: Deal.
aaaaand that's the end! WHEW. that was a long one. i figured that i owed to to you guys for being gone for so long. hope you enjoyed! and for those of you who think that i am spending too much time on Taylor, don't fret, Jordan gets plenty of face time in the next update! <3 MERRY CHRISTMAS!