New Champs, Greatest Dessert Ever, and more
Well, it is officially official. Trent fucking Jones = NEW NIW TAG TEAM CHAMPION. That’s right my friends, myself along with my partner Dano Tep have climbed the tag team ladder in NIW and we have achieved success. And now I bring to you, the heroic story of how it all went down.. actually more just the story of my weekend. Read on, and enjoy, like always.
Friday - I get picked up around 5 or so by Allison, Weinhagen, and the dog Lucy. We all find out that Lucy looks exactly like our dog Link, but an extremely smaller version. We get back to Allison’s place and try to convince Allison to do a trick on her skateboard, but she won’t do it. I try to get on it, but I almost fall on my face. I suck at skateboarding. The three of us head out for some eats, we are terrible at deciding, end up going to Broadway Pizza, I think.
The food was pretty good. Some dude sat the table by us and he was one of the most metal dudes I have ever seen in my life. We were discussing what genre Killswitch would be considered and the dude butts in and says that they are, “Metal core.. And anything with core sucks.” Metal dude is funny. After food we get the deep dish cookie or whatever, ladies and gentlemen this is the single greatest dessert known to mankind. I am craving one right now.
After food we check out the book store to see if they have the new Kerrang so we can get the Master Of Puppets remastered. Nobody has it, we stay at the bookstore for a while and then head back to Allison’s. Upon arrival, we order the Kerrang off the internet. It should be arriving within 28 days, we are fucking excited! Weinhagen heads off for work, Allison and I dink around before deciding to go check out the Smilin’ Jack thingy at Roselawn Cemetery. She wanted to go to an abandon insane asylum, she’s crazy.
After the cemetery we go to Cub to get some beverage, while there Allison finds a balloon for Matt and then also decides to get cupcakes for no reason at all. We get back to Allison’s and start to play Mario Party for N64. Weiny comes back early and we enjoy cupcakes, yummy. After a game of Mario Party, I reside to the couch for sleep.
Saturday - I wake up to a call from Bobby that he’ll be there to pick me up in aboot 10 minutes. I get ready and after the usual ring gimmicks, we head out to Amery. Today a 4 corner elimination tag team match for the NIW Tag Team Titles is on tap. Our opponents are the reigning champions Corbin & Cruz, Venom & Bret O’Brian (now dubbed 101 Proof), and Vinnie Divine & Malikite.
I put on the new gimmicks, which I’m starting to like more now. Dano and I make our entrance and after all the other yahoos come out, the match starts. After a little miscommunication in the beginning and accidentally arm dragging my own partner, people start jumping out of the ring like mad. Ryan goes to do his patented dive, but I say fuck that and clothesline the shit out of him. While showboating to the sea of wrestling on the outside, Corbin uses this to his advantage and dives right through the ring ropes.
All of a sudden I feel a kick in the rear and I go flying onto Bret and Venom. Before I can even collect myself, I look up and see Mr. Ryan Cruz flying at me. Once again, I am trying to shake the cobwebs, when I look up and what do I see? A 300-pound mad man by the name of Venom flying at me from the second rope. Now is when I bitch and say, he landed mostly on me, that one fucking hurt.
The match gets back inside the ring and before you know it, Venom and O’Brian have eliminated the team of Vinnie and ‘Kite. However, little do they know, Dano and I have something up our sleeves. Ann-Thraxx (now dubbed Thug-Thraxx, in my eyes) runs to the ring and slides us the title belts. Stinky and smelly turn around and.. WHAM! They each get a title belt to the face. Two simultaneous pinfalls later and 101 Proof is out of the picture.
Now it is down to us and the champions. Challenger and champions, once again. Three months ago, to the day, we met in the same exact building. That day, the Northstar Express retained. This day would be a different story. After beating up Darin Corbin for a while, he rolls me up and finally gets the tag. Cruz charges into the ring and cleans house. After beating Dano and I up for a while, Corbin & Cruz hit the Cruz Control onto me and almost score the pin.
However, Thraxx jumps into action and distracts the ref. After Dano almost accidentally hits her, Ryan goes for the Boomshakalaka, Dano counters, Corbin goes for the Shin City, Dano moves, Corbin hits Ryan. Now who is having miscommunications, eh? Dano shit cans Darrin and we make our move. A groggy Ryan turns around and is met with a simultaneous Gore and leaping Yakuza kick. Hrmm, I think we may have a tag team finishing move here folks.. although we don’t know what to call it yet, any ideas?
One three-count later and Dano and I are new NIW Tag Team Champions. Finally, after months of chasing the titles, we are awarded with the belts. After a little celebrating in the ring, we make our way to the back. After the event it was party time, as we stayed at the arena for a couple extra hours and celebrated our win. It was good times.
Sunday - I get up, shower, and call Brian to see what the plan was. Originally we were gonna go to the Neo-Pro show with Austin Aries. But, after almost over-drafting my bank account and Brian not having enough money for three people, we decide to drop Sam off at the door and head to eat. We went to a Asian Buffet in a mall, it was REEEALLLYYYY good! After getting fat, we head back to the arena to pick up Sam and go hangout with all the boys. A long drive home accompanied.
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All-in-all, it was a pretty good weekend. Obviously topped off by winning the titles. Now, we just have to keep them, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Our first defense is against Venom & Bret at the first day of the double-shot. As always, go to NIWwrestling.com for more information. This weekend, I know of nothing going on so far, except for UFC at Brian’s place, I’m excited for that. Hopefully I find something to do on Friday. I hope it’s swimming, because it’s nice enough out and I love swimming! Anyways, thanks for reading, if you read it all, you fucks!
Who?
Trent Jones
Friday - I get picked up around 5 or so by Allison, Weinhagen, and the dog Lucy. We all find out that Lucy looks exactly like our dog Link, but an extremely smaller version. We get back to Allison’s place and try to convince Allison to do a trick on her skateboard, but she won’t do it. I try to get on it, but I almost fall on my face. I suck at skateboarding. The three of us head out for some eats, we are terrible at deciding, end up going to Broadway Pizza, I think.
The food was pretty good. Some dude sat the table by us and he was one of the most metal dudes I have ever seen in my life. We were discussing what genre Killswitch would be considered and the dude butts in and says that they are, “Metal core.. And anything with core sucks.” Metal dude is funny. After food we get the deep dish cookie or whatever, ladies and gentlemen this is the single greatest dessert known to mankind. I am craving one right now.
After food we check out the book store to see if they have the new Kerrang so we can get the Master Of Puppets remastered. Nobody has it, we stay at the bookstore for a while and then head back to Allison’s. Upon arrival, we order the Kerrang off the internet. It should be arriving within 28 days, we are fucking excited! Weinhagen heads off for work, Allison and I dink around before deciding to go check out the Smilin’ Jack thingy at Roselawn Cemetery. She wanted to go to an abandon insane asylum, she’s crazy.
After the cemetery we go to Cub to get some beverage, while there Allison finds a balloon for Matt and then also decides to get cupcakes for no reason at all. We get back to Allison’s and start to play Mario Party for N64. Weiny comes back early and we enjoy cupcakes, yummy. After a game of Mario Party, I reside to the couch for sleep.
Saturday - I wake up to a call from Bobby that he’ll be there to pick me up in aboot 10 minutes. I get ready and after the usual ring gimmicks, we head out to Amery. Today a 4 corner elimination tag team match for the NIW Tag Team Titles is on tap. Our opponents are the reigning champions Corbin & Cruz, Venom & Bret O’Brian (now dubbed 101 Proof), and Vinnie Divine & Malikite.
I put on the new gimmicks, which I’m starting to like more now. Dano and I make our entrance and after all the other yahoos come out, the match starts. After a little miscommunication in the beginning and accidentally arm dragging my own partner, people start jumping out of the ring like mad. Ryan goes to do his patented dive, but I say fuck that and clothesline the shit out of him. While showboating to the sea of wrestling on the outside, Corbin uses this to his advantage and dives right through the ring ropes.
All of a sudden I feel a kick in the rear and I go flying onto Bret and Venom. Before I can even collect myself, I look up and see Mr. Ryan Cruz flying at me. Once again, I am trying to shake the cobwebs, when I look up and what do I see? A 300-pound mad man by the name of Venom flying at me from the second rope. Now is when I bitch and say, he landed mostly on me, that one fucking hurt.
The match gets back inside the ring and before you know it, Venom and O’Brian have eliminated the team of Vinnie and ‘Kite. However, little do they know, Dano and I have something up our sleeves. Ann-Thraxx (now dubbed Thug-Thraxx, in my eyes) runs to the ring and slides us the title belts. Stinky and smelly turn around and.. WHAM! They each get a title belt to the face. Two simultaneous pinfalls later and 101 Proof is out of the picture.
Now it is down to us and the champions. Challenger and champions, once again. Three months ago, to the day, we met in the same exact building. That day, the Northstar Express retained. This day would be a different story. After beating up Darin Corbin for a while, he rolls me up and finally gets the tag. Cruz charges into the ring and cleans house. After beating Dano and I up for a while, Corbin & Cruz hit the Cruz Control onto me and almost score the pin.
However, Thraxx jumps into action and distracts the ref. After Dano almost accidentally hits her, Ryan goes for the Boomshakalaka, Dano counters, Corbin goes for the Shin City, Dano moves, Corbin hits Ryan. Now who is having miscommunications, eh? Dano shit cans Darrin and we make our move. A groggy Ryan turns around and is met with a simultaneous Gore and leaping Yakuza kick. Hrmm, I think we may have a tag team finishing move here folks.. although we don’t know what to call it yet, any ideas?
One three-count later and Dano and I are new NIW Tag Team Champions. Finally, after months of chasing the titles, we are awarded with the belts. After a little celebrating in the ring, we make our way to the back. After the event it was party time, as we stayed at the arena for a couple extra hours and celebrated our win. It was good times.
Sunday - I get up, shower, and call Brian to see what the plan was. Originally we were gonna go to the Neo-Pro show with Austin Aries. But, after almost over-drafting my bank account and Brian not having enough money for three people, we decide to drop Sam off at the door and head to eat. We went to a Asian Buffet in a mall, it was REEEALLLYYYY good! After getting fat, we head back to the arena to pick up Sam and go hangout with all the boys. A long drive home accompanied.
-----------------------------------------------------
All-in-all, it was a pretty good weekend. Obviously topped off by winning the titles. Now, we just have to keep them, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Our first defense is against Venom & Bret at the first day of the double-shot. As always, go to NIWwrestling.com for more information. This weekend, I know of nothing going on so far, except for UFC at Brian’s place, I’m excited for that. Hopefully I find something to do on Friday. I hope it’s swimming, because it’s nice enough out and I love swimming! Anyways, thanks for reading, if you read it all, you fucks!
Who?
Trent Jones