(no subject)
I've been staring at a blinking cursor for an hour, having trouble figuring out how to get what I'm feeling down in words. Sorry if this entry is hard to follow.
So, I saw the movie Crash for the first time today. Now, don't get me wrong--I thought it was very well-done and thought-provoking, but holy FUCKING hell was the Thandie Newton storyline hard to watch. For those of you who haven't seen it, she and her husband are pulled over by the police, when one of the officers becomes antagonistic because her husband is black. While "searching" her for weapons, the officer then violates her with his fingers. Her husband does not say or do anything to stop it, because he's afraid of racially-motivated violence.
This led to a very difficult discussion with the boyfriend. When I expressed disgust that the husband just stood there and let the assault happen, he said, "But I thought you wanted me to let you fight your own battles?" (referring to a convo we had a couple of weeks ago about sexual harassment). I had to explain to him why I felt that a fistfight wasn't necessary for some jackass on the street making a stupid comment, but that if anyone ever tried to touch me against my will he had better fucking help me.
We also talked about violent sexual attacks and whether or not one should fight back (in the case of the movie, he assumed that she didn't fight back because the officers were armed). He seemed surprised to find out that I would always fight, no matter what. No, I am not so against being a victim that I would rather die; I've been an abuse survivor for over 20 years now, and I know I can handle it. But would I rather risk getting hurt trying to defend myself, instead of just passively letting it happen? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Well, it is what it is. The boy and I love each other, but we're certainly still learning how the other person views the world. I should have a post in the next couple of days showing the brighter side of things.
So, I saw the movie Crash for the first time today. Now, don't get me wrong--I thought it was very well-done and thought-provoking, but holy FUCKING hell was the Thandie Newton storyline hard to watch. For those of you who haven't seen it, she and her husband are pulled over by the police, when one of the officers becomes antagonistic because her husband is black. While "searching" her for weapons, the officer then violates her with his fingers. Her husband does not say or do anything to stop it, because he's afraid of racially-motivated violence.
This led to a very difficult discussion with the boyfriend. When I expressed disgust that the husband just stood there and let the assault happen, he said, "But I thought you wanted me to let you fight your own battles?" (referring to a convo we had a couple of weeks ago about sexual harassment). I had to explain to him why I felt that a fistfight wasn't necessary for some jackass on the street making a stupid comment, but that if anyone ever tried to touch me against my will he had better fucking help me.
We also talked about violent sexual attacks and whether or not one should fight back (in the case of the movie, he assumed that she didn't fight back because the officers were armed). He seemed surprised to find out that I would always fight, no matter what. No, I am not so against being a victim that I would rather die; I've been an abuse survivor for over 20 years now, and I know I can handle it. But would I rather risk getting hurt trying to defend myself, instead of just passively letting it happen? Abso-fucking-lutely.
Well, it is what it is. The boy and I love each other, but we're certainly still learning how the other person views the world. I should have a post in the next couple of days showing the brighter side of things.