When will my life be the way it should be?
Well...It's been a while since I have been on here and for the past couple of days I have been stressing out, almost to the point of insanity. So I decided to come on here and vent.
I have been with Josh since 2006, I stuck by him though everything (probation, no job, being arrested again). I would a full time job and the night shift to support the both of us. I have had to deal with verbal abuse and his laziness. When he got off of probation he left me for a fucking 40 year old lady who just so happened to be his ex-best friend skyy's girls friend or ex-girl friend (what ever). He told me that he had finally found someone that made him happy. That he was miserable with me because I worked the over nights and I was never there for him. WTF!!!! how fucking dare he!!! I was so hurt I even contenplated death. after a while I got over it and said we could be friends. I even agreed to go watch him take the burrito challenge at sandbar on beachside on my birthday. Of course I never took in to consideration that SHE might be there. After the contest I told him to take me home he said no that he was to full to drive that far and drove me to her house!!! I had to sit there and watch then be all cute and cuddly the entire night!!! IT WAS THE WORST BIRTHDAY I EVER FUCKING HAD!!!! He didn't even care!!!! He didn't see anything wrong with it. Even then I let him stay with me...I know stupid fucking me...when his relationship with the 40 year old did not work out I still let him stay with me. he told me he wanted to get back together but only if I lost weight!! WTF
I eventually went back to school for Radiological Technology. I am trying to start a new life for myself but I know I can't do that with him around I just don't have the heart to kick him out...he doesn't have any where to go. I know I shouldn't care but I do! I know I am too nice. I can't help it! that's just the way I am. On top of everything, he talks shit about my family and he doesn't fucking do anything around the house!!!! He hasn't had a job in 2 years and he sleeps all fucking day, he watches my tv and plays on my XBox360, erases my shows on DVR to record his, never lets me watch anything i want to watch, tries to demand me about, throws a fit when he doesn't get his way and he is verbally abusive!!! I am finally getting fed up! I still do not have the guts to kick him out. I can not see him in my future and I am almost finished with school (I graduate in December! yay!). He I trying to tell me where I'm going to live and trying to tell me that his friend is moving with us...That I can not allow. So I have come to the conclusion that when I graduate I am moving and If he has not aquired a job and has not changed his ways that he is just going to have to get the fuck out of my life!
Sigh! My life is starting to go well for me and he ruining it...I wish we never met...He is...was...my first boyfriend and my first love. I know that he will always have a peice of my heart...but I know I have to let go...otherwise I will be miserable for the rest of my life.
I have been with Josh since 2006, I stuck by him though everything (probation, no job, being arrested again). I would a full time job and the night shift to support the both of us. I have had to deal with verbal abuse and his laziness. When he got off of probation he left me for a fucking 40 year old lady who just so happened to be his ex-best friend skyy's girls friend or ex-girl friend (what ever). He told me that he had finally found someone that made him happy. That he was miserable with me because I worked the over nights and I was never there for him. WTF!!!! how fucking dare he!!! I was so hurt I even contenplated death. after a while I got over it and said we could be friends. I even agreed to go watch him take the burrito challenge at sandbar on beachside on my birthday. Of course I never took in to consideration that SHE might be there. After the contest I told him to take me home he said no that he was to full to drive that far and drove me to her house!!! I had to sit there and watch then be all cute and cuddly the entire night!!! IT WAS THE WORST BIRTHDAY I EVER FUCKING HAD!!!! He didn't even care!!!! He didn't see anything wrong with it. Even then I let him stay with me...I know stupid fucking me...when his relationship with the 40 year old did not work out I still let him stay with me. he told me he wanted to get back together but only if I lost weight!! WTF
I eventually went back to school for Radiological Technology. I am trying to start a new life for myself but I know I can't do that with him around I just don't have the heart to kick him out...he doesn't have any where to go. I know I shouldn't care but I do! I know I am too nice. I can't help it! that's just the way I am. On top of everything, he talks shit about my family and he doesn't fucking do anything around the house!!!! He hasn't had a job in 2 years and he sleeps all fucking day, he watches my tv and plays on my XBox360, erases my shows on DVR to record his, never lets me watch anything i want to watch, tries to demand me about, throws a fit when he doesn't get his way and he is verbally abusive!!! I am finally getting fed up! I still do not have the guts to kick him out. I can not see him in my future and I am almost finished with school (I graduate in December! yay!). He I trying to tell me where I'm going to live and trying to tell me that his friend is moving with us...That I can not allow. So I have come to the conclusion that when I graduate I am moving and If he has not aquired a job and has not changed his ways that he is just going to have to get the fuck out of my life!
Sigh! My life is starting to go well for me and he ruining it...I wish we never met...He is...was...my first boyfriend and my first love. I know that he will always have a peice of my heart...but I know I have to let go...otherwise I will be miserable for the rest of my life.