I Used To Do Drugs. I Still Do, But I Used To, Too
"The Dufranes are locked in someone's trunk right now with duct tape over their mouths. And they're hungry ... that's a double whammy!" -Mitch Fucking Hedberg Yeah, man, that's what this entry is. A double whammy. Meant to explain the shitty home life ... but most likely tangeting off into a psychotic haze, for that is what I do best after all.
Anyone with me in the wanting to totally have hot, passionate, extraordinary sex with Mitch Hedberg? "I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly ..." Mmm. With 3 m's. Mmm. I was reading these MitchHedberg (one word SandraBerhardt) quotes online tonight and literally laughing out loud. Mind you ... if you don't know what that glorious man sounds/ acts like the phrases would probably not be as funny to you. But, with him performing them ... holyfuckingshit it's amazing. And ... I love him .... and ... want to have sex with him, if only once, to see how the man does it, for I'm sure we're all doing it wrong. haha ... Yeah, I'm insane. But don't tell me that you didn't think about it just then. Eh?
Yeah, I completely forgot about everything else I was going to write. I had a good damn rage going too. Hmm. I could mosey downstairs and I'm sure my mom would give me some fresh inspiration. But, the way I see it, I've had quite enough abuse for the evening. *sigh* lol. Oh man. More Hedberg- quickly before the emo starts seeping in. "I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I have to tell them something that is going on. "What time is it, Mitch?" "Uh, that guy is eating a hamburger." "Shit, I had to be somewhere..." Whew. That's better. :-D However, as Kate pointed out to me, emo is when you complain incessantly about things that you don't actually have to complain about. Which is a pretty good definition if you ask me. Thus, I'm not emo and shouldn't worry about being such. I'm just crazy, which is different and better. Woot.
Arg, alright. My moms be a ho. Yes, moms, as though I have multiple mothers. Gah, frightening thought. I can barely deal with the one I have. You see, my mom's philosophy (and I use that term loosely) on parenting is ... enforcing a type of scare tactic. This, for lack of a better term, is insane. And absolutely part of the reason I don't want to have children. Until someone/ something can assure me that I can do a better job than her and not fuck up my kids too badly, then I refuse to be part of creating another life. I mean hey, that's just me, right now as a quite naive and scorned 15 year old chick. Who's to say what I'll think later on. But I'm not talking about later on ... right now ... no. Just no. My mom thinks that I am forever trying to question her authority as a parent. Not true. But, when she's wrong, she's wrong. And I refuse to let her be right despite the fact that it can have shitty consequences for me. See, she won't ground me, she'll do worse. Because that's what she's learned? Scare tactics man, they're a bitch. It's not one specific punishment, it's sparatic ... inane degrees and times of ... insanity. lol. And ... her meds ... cause her to have different "personalities" if you will. Sometimes I can talk with her forever ... she's not insane about everything. It's all fine. That accounts for like ... 15% of the time. The other 85% is ... her being nuts. I pretty much mean that in a literal sense in that she can't hear anything around her, feels as though people are trying to hurt her, and sees fit in taking it out on me. Good times. Normally, I can just brush it all off and not feel too badly about it, but with Mikey gone, it's not so easy. I have no second ... no backer. No one else to take the brunt of her anger. Which there's more of because he left and she has to worry about more things.
Ahhhh. Why, why am I spilling specifics? I swore I wouldn't and ... I could easily erase the entire entry. But will I? ... No. Why not? Sheer and utter stupidity. It always seems to take hold. See, there's this quite disturbed part of my brain- the one responsible for pressing the 'update journal' button that's like, "Yo, Leash, it's cool right. It's on the internet, so it doesn't really matter." That part kind of has a Hedberg-y-ian accent. It probably has the effects of years of drug abuse. Then there's the sensible part that doesn't really kick in until later, post 'update journal.' The part that is like "Ahh, private shit. Ahh." But is far too lazy to delete the entry. My head is a sadistic place you see. Wow ... I really think I just typed a conversation with my head. I must leave.
"I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said Please Try Again because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I though I might have opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me, 'c'mon, Mitchell, don't give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top."