don't have many of these entries but...
ever got one of those feelings that you are slowly growing..or that is not even the word..being pushed away from people that you have been close too? Like you have always been the best of friends but suddenly you don't talk as much, don't hang out as much, and they find more time for other people. The worst part is is that they aren't even trying to be that way, they don't perposely want to push you away or exclude you..it's just the natural flow of things. Everyone is in a circle having a great time laughing and joking around..and you are kind of on the outside smiling like you wish you knew what they were talking about. Or how you were always one of the first to be informed about everything, and then suddenly you are the person you hears it at the end of the chain..through "hear say" and the story is never exactly straight. You want to try and become were you used to be, close with those people. You could have been friends for ages but just those couple of weeks of awkwardness make you feel like you are meeting them for the first time. You can't be yourself because you are afraid to say the wrong thing...and the way you are just isn't good enough anymore.
GAH. I WANT THIS YEAR TO BE OVER.