(no subject)
Just having one of those sad days where I pray to find the love of my life, so I decided to "let" Alex feel my pain.
She no longer felt an ease in the presence of the stoic detective, Alex felt her every glance, and her every touch telegraphed. Did Olivia notice her staggered breaths, her failure to make eye contact, her compulsive need to lick her lips?
She wanted desperately to just be friends with the detective; yet quiet moments foiled her intentions. What would it be like to feel Olivia’s lips against hers, to feel Olivia’s hand lovingly stoke her back, to simply feel Olivia? It was in those quiet moments Alex felt completely alone and it hurt like hell. She did not anticipate the pain, the burning in her chest, the tingling of her limbs. Never having been in love before, and now a woman in her thirties, it was embarrassing.
The moment Olivia pulled her into a hug and whispered “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” felt more intimate than Alex could have imagined. She knew Olivia was simply happy the case was prosecuted successfully but to Alex the emotional gesture was more than that. It was at that moment that she knew that she wanted to spend every waking hour with Olivia. It was the moment she knew she was in love.
Alone in her office, Alex filed her remaining documents in her briefcase. She thought back to the hug she shared with Olivia. It was the first time in days that she even remembered being physically touched. The memory of Olivia’s warm body pressed against her caused Alex’s heart to ache. Taking deep gulps of air, Alex dropped her head to her folded arms and sobbed. She sobbed for the passionate kisses, for the loving hugs, and for the tender caresses that would never grace her body. She sobbed knowing the love she felt for Olivia was not mutual and that the devastating loneliness she felt was slowing killing her.