SO.
I think I would love one of those computer-bots you can chat to on the internet but like a person in real life - a person-bot. Just to talk to.
So that it can sit there and say, "Hi there tell me about yourself!" in stupidly happy tones that make me know there is nothing in the world that could possibly be wrong with it or anything that could offend it so I could just offload.
I could sit there and say, "Hello stupid robot! Well my name is Dove and it all started when I was a little girl."
And it would interject with something annoying like "Oh, how exciting!"
But I would continue - "My father was a jerk and my mother was stupid and then they must've slowly realised that or something because all of the cool people ever in our lives started to get kicked out by them. Like my uncle. And my brothers.
"So, naturally, my mother started to go a bit insane and that was obviously my fault because that's what they both decided. I don't suppose you've ever known anyone with battlescars, have you, robot?"
"No I haven't known any battle-scar-man!"
"Oh good. Because they take pride in their scars, you know. Sometimes I'd count them or measure them to see if I'd made a record yet. Once there was this one that looked kind of like a rainbow - but the colours weren't as bright, so a dull rainbow. It wasn't a perfect circle, not many of them were. I think I found one, once. But it was so small it didn't matter.
"Then I went to school and we had loads of fun and there was so much alcohol in me then it felt like I was swimming. It was kind of nice, you know. Except then one day I woke up and I was pregnant and that wasn't all that cool because I couldn't do the swimmy alcohol thing but I couldn't have any rainbow-battle-scars with a baby inside me, you know.
"Maybe that was my biggest battle scar, you know? It was pretty big, too. It was kind of cool, looking after a baby inside me. I made a deal with my friends that I'd totally stop drinking as long as they took care of my cravings and oh they so did.
"She was kind of cute, you know. Not like a hamster or anything. She was my family, you know. It's funny because when I think about her now it's more like she was a dream - but like one of those dreams that when you wake up you can't stop thinking about it and you're never the same again. I don't know if it's wrong that I don't ever think of her like a real person, but she was always so small and the most intelligible sound she ever made was 'gaa'.
"Then I guess there was Koga. It hurts sometimes to think about how stupid happy we were. And he just loved me and I guess I loved him the best way I knew how. But then some stuff happened. Lots of bad stuff. Um. Natsuko made me cry and apparently had Taro carve obscenities in my flesh. Then we broke up a couple of times. I only ever did what I thought I was supposed to.
"Aaron. It was really cute and comfortable and I didn't know what to do with myself. Sometimes I missed things and felt instantly guilt about them. Then I met Dari and I swear to god that feeling - that feeling that kids give you of needing you always - there is nothing better in the entire world, it came back. Some things stick, you know. I mean - I think after like, the fiftieth serving, I could say no to ice cream, but I could never say no to him.
"There was more stuff- my father came around and then some other bad things happened. But they all mesh together in my head as a Bad Time. There was lots of hospitals and feeling sad. Aaron and I sort of started to deteriorate. I don't think I quite got over it, but there were things eating away at me - um, physically and emotionally and mentally all at once. I think Aaron was too sweet for me, really. He did the right thing.
"Um, Adrian died too. He's always been incapable of staying in one state for more than like, a second so I guess it's unsurprising he couldn't stay dead. I think that was a bit worse for both of us. Death is a part of life, you know, so you learn to deal with it but who learns to deal with 'undead'? No one, that's who.
"And so then Koga and I got back together and Dari went to school and we went to this wonderful festival and we lived happily ever after."
Max and Koga had a fight. It was pretty bad.