LJ, Friends, Writing, and Sex Musings
3:35pm EST
I need to figure out why my balance figured for myself is lower than the one my bank figures for me. It's weird that this always ends up happening at one point or another.
I read something in someone's LJ yesterday that just put me in the weirdest of moods. Those words were "OMG. YOU GUYS." What set me off is that I felt she was speaking to her LJ friends, and I wasn't one of them. I don't know why that bugged me, but it did.
I suddenly felt out of place in the whole Internet world and thought about deleting my LJ, my MySpace, and my YouTube account. Instead, I deleted all of my LJ friends, thinking I'd just start over and that I'd really know who'd want me around. Then I put a silly lil entry up saying so. At one point, I received a comment that made me reconsider the post, that basically I agreed with, I hate posts on my LJ friends that says "comment here if you want to stay friended" or something like that. Why should I have to beg for friendship? I shouldn't ask that of my LJ friends either. So I ended up deleting that entry and am now in the process of rebuilding my friends list. If you want to defriend me, I'll totally understand. Sometimes you just don't connect with people in the same way anymore. I have to realize that for myself too. wendy wrote me something about who I choose to let me read me and who I choose to read shouldn't be dependent on her, and she's right, I'm realizing now.
The problem I feel myself having is that sometimes I become dependent on LJ interaction to help me get through the day. It's when I doubt that you care about me is when I post crazy shit like this and I don't mean to sound like I'm a big LJ drama queen cuz really, all the drama is within me. And, I'm sorry for those of who are seeing this weakness in me.
Why can't I write anything fictional? Has my imagination evaporated into cynicism? Have I lost touch with my inner child? What does she want to do? If my inner child could do anything she wants, what would it be? . . . Shame on you, damn--all she wants to do is have some nookie and is frustrated cuz Jay was here and we couldn't do anything. Man, I hate this woman package sometimes. If I had a penis, I could love myself ALL THE TIME! Damn you penis-having bastards!
Oh god, I just pictured Jared and his big hands and oh god, going down to himself and that's just not right for my inner child right now...
I need to figure out why my balance figured for myself is lower than the one my bank figures for me. It's weird that this always ends up happening at one point or another.
I read something in someone's LJ yesterday that just put me in the weirdest of moods. Those words were "OMG. YOU GUYS." What set me off is that I felt she was speaking to her LJ friends, and I wasn't one of them. I don't know why that bugged me, but it did.
I suddenly felt out of place in the whole Internet world and thought about deleting my LJ, my MySpace, and my YouTube account. Instead, I deleted all of my LJ friends, thinking I'd just start over and that I'd really know who'd want me around. Then I put a silly lil entry up saying so. At one point, I received a comment that made me reconsider the post, that basically I agreed with, I hate posts on my LJ friends that says "comment here if you want to stay friended" or something like that. Why should I have to beg for friendship? I shouldn't ask that of my LJ friends either. So I ended up deleting that entry and am now in the process of rebuilding my friends list. If you want to defriend me, I'll totally understand. Sometimes you just don't connect with people in the same way anymore. I have to realize that for myself too. wendy wrote me something about who I choose to let me read me and who I choose to read shouldn't be dependent on her, and she's right, I'm realizing now.
The problem I feel myself having is that sometimes I become dependent on LJ interaction to help me get through the day. It's when I doubt that you care about me is when I post crazy shit like this and I don't mean to sound like I'm a big LJ drama queen cuz really, all the drama is within me. And, I'm sorry for those of who are seeing this weakness in me.
Why can't I write anything fictional? Has my imagination evaporated into cynicism? Have I lost touch with my inner child? What does she want to do? If my inner child could do anything she wants, what would it be? . . . Shame on you, damn--all she wants to do is have some nookie and is frustrated cuz Jay was here and we couldn't do anything. Man, I hate this woman package sometimes. If I had a penis, I could love myself ALL THE TIME! Damn you penis-having bastards!
Oh god, I just pictured Jared and his big hands and oh god, going down to himself and that's just not right for my inner child right now...