divine inspiration, I guess.
If anyone was wondering why figuring out whether you feel a calling to become a minister is difficult, go no further. In poking around online for details about applications for theology programs, I came across a PDF with suggestions for both academic and spiritual “discernment.” Basically, figuring out what you want to do with your life.
The academic one was pretty straightforward-talk with professors, think back to what you wanted to do when you were younger, go through old class notes, etc. The spiritual one was a little more complicated. It has suggestions like going through a walk or sitting down for some good, old-fashioned meditation. And then there are a couple suggestions that have me grinning. Like having a conversation with God, wherein you sit across from an empty chair, ask God the question you have, switch chairs, and respond to yourself. Another was a petitionary prayer, where someone specifically requests clarity on an issue. The document then says you should "wait for a response. Remember that the response can come in any way, shape or form, and at any time." And that’s how people should figure out whether they should go to grad school.
Oh, theological reflection. Never change.
* * * * *
I’ve been struggling with this for a while. How do you figure this out? This poking, this woodpecker at your heart, the dowsing rod (thanks, emily) that’s pointing you in a bizarre, unexpected, uncharted direction.
Basically, I want to be a minister because I do. It’s just. How do you explain why you want to spend more time with God? That you want to go to church a lot, and talk with young kids about the Big Crazy Questions, or help someone mourn a loss. It’s kind of weird to explain. I know I want to go to divinity school because it’s where it seems I’m going; instead of picking a goal and working toward it, the steps I’m taking and the way my life is going feels like I’m headed there. Mitch Hedberg kind of had it right: "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." It kind of feels like I’m doing that-I’m not following anything, I’m just living the way I feel I should, and that will lead to whatever I end up doing. I’ve never experienced anything quite like this, and I know why people refer to it as a calling. There’s no real other way to describe it.
And now, the other calling I’m experiencing is the one for lunch. Hello, english muffin with strawberry jam, come to me, my precious....
The academic one was pretty straightforward-talk with professors, think back to what you wanted to do when you were younger, go through old class notes, etc. The spiritual one was a little more complicated. It has suggestions like going through a walk or sitting down for some good, old-fashioned meditation. And then there are a couple suggestions that have me grinning. Like having a conversation with God, wherein you sit across from an empty chair, ask God the question you have, switch chairs, and respond to yourself. Another was a petitionary prayer, where someone specifically requests clarity on an issue. The document then says you should "wait for a response. Remember that the response can come in any way, shape or form, and at any time." And that’s how people should figure out whether they should go to grad school.
Oh, theological reflection. Never change.
* * * * *
I’ve been struggling with this for a while. How do you figure this out? This poking, this woodpecker at your heart, the dowsing rod (thanks, emily) that’s pointing you in a bizarre, unexpected, uncharted direction.
Basically, I want to be a minister because I do. It’s just. How do you explain why you want to spend more time with God? That you want to go to church a lot, and talk with young kids about the Big Crazy Questions, or help someone mourn a loss. It’s kind of weird to explain. I know I want to go to divinity school because it’s where it seems I’m going; instead of picking a goal and working toward it, the steps I’m taking and the way my life is going feels like I’m headed there. Mitch Hedberg kind of had it right: "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." It kind of feels like I’m doing that-I’m not following anything, I’m just living the way I feel I should, and that will lead to whatever I end up doing. I’ve never experienced anything quite like this, and I know why people refer to it as a calling. There’s no real other way to describe it.
And now, the other calling I’m experiencing is the one for lunch. Hello, english muffin with strawberry jam, come to me, my precious....