eyes wide shut
eyes wide shut
minho/key
pg-13 for language
3,124w
warnings: implied character death
a/n: for pause ♥ this was originally for my five things meme below, but as you can see it kind of got away with me. i'm still trying to figure key out, so if there's anything at all off to you about my characterization, feel free to point it out. i'd love the advice ♥
also, b/c this started out as a comment fic, it's in lapslock. i was too lazy to go through and change everything once i realized it was getting out of hand.
it takes minho and kibum two years to have a full-blown argument. they get along alright, but sometimes kibum can take it too far. this time, minho just couldn't keep himself from taking it one step further. it's tense in the dorm afterward, like a dense fog you can cut with a knife. jinki tries and fails to get them to see eye to eye again, jonghyun and kibum have a small argument themselves over it, and taemin wisely keeps himself out of the way except to tell minho, "i think you're both being ridiculous, just so you know."
1. two days later, minho's about to slide under his blankets and hide from the world until morning when, as near as he can tell, there's a flash of something and he's not in his room anymore. he's not even sure he's in the dorm, and for a moment he wonders if someone slipped something into his drink during dinner, because he's never had a history of hallucinations before.
he pinches himself, just to be sure, and it hurts like a bitch. nothing happens, he's still standing in an apartment, the muffled sounds of city life and heavy rain filtering in through the window. warily, he takes a look outside, eyes widening when he realizes he isn't even in south korea anymore. there's too much english everywhere.
thoroughly baffled and a tiny bit terrified, minho jumps as a door closes, followed by a familiar voice talking in unmistakable english, but it's less halted than he remembers it being. he's got no time to hide himself, he's not even sure why he feels like he needs to, before kibum comes out of the hallway and stops right in front of him, shell-shocked. he murmurs a hasty goodbye and snaps his cell phone shut, expression fierce. he says something in harsh english, then repeats it in korean. "who the fuck are you and how did you get into my locked apartment?" he looks minho up and down, a hint of confusion on his face. "and why are you in pajamas?"
minho's at a complete loss on what to say to that. this is all either the worst dream he's ever had or something so fucked up he can't even begin to comprehend it. "it's me, minho," he says, feeling stupid even as he says it, because if kibum knew him, he wouldn't be asking him who he was.
"yeah, okay?" kibum says, flipping open his phone again. "i don't know a minho, i don't know you, and i'm calling the cops."
"wait, don't," minho says, holding his hands up. "look, i have no idea how i got here, okay? but i know you, and we debuted in a group together in south korea. we're in shinee. we live together." kibum's expression gets steadily more confused, horrified and disbelieving as minho continues talking, and after he talks about living together, kibum laughs, a derisive thing.
"you're insane, you know? i'm sorry, but you've got the wrong guy. i haven't called south korea home since i was young, and i'll be damned if i ever go back." he shakes his head, leaning against the wall. where there was confidence and haughtiness, now there is something broken that minho hopes to god he'll never see in his kibum. the thought startles him-not so much that he thought of kibum as his, but the fact that he's realized this is not... someone he knows. whatever's going on here (he's got an idea what it may be, but he's not sure he accepts it just yet), this is a kibum who's made different choices than the kibum he knows, and it's done something irreparable to him. "please leave," kibum says, so quiet minho almost doesn't catch it.
maybe that's the key (the pun is not lost on him), because there's another flashing shift, and kibum disappears in the blur.
2. the world rights itself after a moment and minho's surroundings are different again, still not home. he's surrounded by people, so many people running around that he's almost afraid he's still caught in the shift. they're all speaking so many languages it's hard to tell what is what, until he catches the tail-end of korean behind him, fading fast. he turns and follows the voice, pushing his way through the throng of bodies as best he can, hoping no one notices how out of place he looks in his sweats and tshirt. everyone seems to be over-dressed, and there are racks of clothes everywhere; this is familiar, the backstage of a fashion show.
he's only partly surprised to find the woman he's been following waiting patiently next to an older-looking kibum, who's snapping fingers and directing a small crowd of people with precise, clipped directions on where what goes, who's modeling this and where the hell is his coffee he ordered half an hour ago. "what is it?" he finally addresses the woman, glancing down at her clipboard. she leans in and minho misses whatever it is she whispers to him, but it's obviously not good news, if the way kibum's lips form a tight, thin line is anything to go by.
kibum looks around, his eyes glancing right over minho without a hint of recognition. lost in thought, minho doesn't catch the last of their conversation, barely registers kibum on the move again, calling out to his people. this is a kibum who never became a trainee, who went on to college and became a fashion designer. from the looks of it, he's done pretty well for himself. which means what he'd guessed at earlier, with the first kibum, was right.
he's been going to different-no, alternate-realities, where kibum's made a decision so drastic, it's changed his life as minho knows it. slightly stunned and not sure if he wants to commit himself to believing any of this, minho doesn't notice that he's caught kibum's attention until kibum's right in front of him, waving a hand in his face.
"hey, you. what the hell are you doing here? are you here to give me a message or something?" kibum's voice has an underlying tone of snootiness to it, and the way he's looking minho up and down sends a flare of indignation through him.
"no," he says, frowning. "i'm just... i'm just watching."
kibum narrows his eyes. "are you even supposed to be here? do you have a pass?" he pauses, looking thoughtful. "actually, you look really familiar, have i seen you before?"
"i've modeled," minho says before he can stop himself. although he can't imagine himself making any other career choice, he doesn't have a clue whether he even got the chance to model, here.
"wait, yeah," kibum says, snapping his fingers, his eyes wide in recognition. at the snap, three people from behind him look up, expectant, but when it's obvious he's not calling for them they go back to their work. "you're choi minho. that guy from shinee."
well, that answers that question. "yeah, that's me."
kibum's demeanor changes, now that he's talking to someone well-known. minho masks the annoyance still simmering beneath his skin. "right. but what are you doing in paris? i thought i remembered something about a comeback?" he frowns again. "and... you should be my age. at least."
"oh," minho says, searching for some excuse, because he's not exactly about to tell this kibum what he told the other one. "i had surgery."
"hm," kibum says, head tilted, looking skeptical. "well, i'm a bit busy, as you can see, so i'm going to have to cut this short." he gives a brilliant smile, one of those fake ones minho recognizes from days when the five of them are worn thin and fraying, stuck on a stage anyway. "enjoy the show, minho-sshi."
he hurries away, lost in a sea of color, and as it blurs out again, minho wonders if this kibum has ever smiled a real smile in his life.
3. this time, minho finds himself in a hospital. the walls are white, but dull, and the smell of rubber gloves and antiseptic is almost overwhelming. he turns, half-afraid of what he'll find, and when he sees kibum in the bed, wires poking into skin that's too pale to be healthy, minho thinks he'll be sick, himself. there are circles beneath kibum's eyes that minho's never seen, because kibum would never have stood for it, and his cheekbones are more pronounced-he looks skeletal, almost.
minho swallows hard and sinks into the chair that's pulled up next to the bed, shaking. "kibum," he murmurs, for lack of anything else to say.
he doesn't expect kibum's eyes to flutter open, or the vague frown that pulls at his eyebrows. "you're supposed to be back at the dorm," kibum says. his voice is dry, not like it is when he's dripping sarcasm with every word, but dry like paper crumbling to dust.
"i," minho says, his chest tight with too much feeling, "i guess i had to come back."
kibum rolls his eyes, something like a half-hearted snort escaping him. "i expected that out of jonghyun-hyung, but not you."
"i didn't expect this," minho finds himself saying, uncaring if kibum doesn't follow him or not. "you're dying, aren't you?"
kibum blinks at him, for once not a sign of anything written in his face. it's disconcerting. "they told you, then." he sighs, looking up at the ceiling. "i thought they'd wait a few days or so, see if i get better. everyone else has. i-" he pauses, closing his eyes briefly. "apparently, i have a mutated strain."
minho looks down, sucks in a long, slow breath.
"you should go. they don't know if it's still contagious or not, remember?" minho looks back up to see kibum watching him, that frown back, like he's trying to figure minho out but he doesn't know how to anymore. "i don't even know why you came back."
"i had to," minho says, reaching over to run fingers over kibum's wrist, tinier than he remembers. "i think i needed to."
kibum makes another odd noise, his eyes brighter than normal. "shut up. you don't need to see me like this. i'm pathetic right now. i look horrible and i'm dying." he inhales sharply, avoiding minho's gaze. "i'm scared."
minho laces his fingers through kibum's, squeezing tightly. "i think it's probably okay to be scared, in this situation," he murmurs. after a moment, he adds, "i wish i could stay." it's half the truth. there's a huge knot in his stomach and he still feels like he's going to be sick because this isn't how it went, this isn't how it's supposed to be.
"i'm glad you aren't," kibum says, catching minho's gaze again. "i'm selfish, minho. i don't want anyone to see me like this, it's not how i want to be remembered."
"i won't tell anyone," minho says, standing. his hand's still in kibum's and he won't let go until he has to leave. "i promise."
"thank you," kibum says, breathing in deep. he starts coughing midway, his grip on minho's hand tensing. the machines all around him start beeping, minho's heart is pounding its way out of his chest and everything's blurring away. the painful squeeze of kibum's hand fades.
4. minho's still shaking when he realizes he's at a standstill again, his hand clenched against echoes of pain. it takes him a moment to open his eyes and glance around, to still his frantic heart and calm his breathing. he's in an apartment, a small one that's only been recently occupied. there's still boxes all over the floor, and not much furniture. it looks lonely.
"minho?"
minho whirls, coming face to face with a very much alive kibum. he's got more boxes in his hands, the one at the very top threatening to fall off. minho reaches for it before it can. "hi," he says, unable to come up with anything more eloquent than that. there's a flash of kibum, a ghost of his former self in a hospital bed, that's refusing to disappear.
kibum sets the boxes down next to the main pile, eyeing minho as if he's some weird creature that just stepped out of the lagoon. "what are you doing here?"
minho replaces his box with its mates, shrugging. "should i not be here?" he asks, playing it safe for now.
kibum leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "you tell me. i was under the impression you never wanted to see me again." minho frowns, not sure how to respond. kibum keeps going, in his silence. "look, i'm sorry you had to find out that way and i'm sorry that all of this happened, but i'm not going to apologize for being who i am." he looks down, shaking his head, and laughs that soft, bitter laugh again. "i'm not hiding anymore. i'm gay, and the world will just have to fucking accept it."
minho releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. "you mean, you left shinee because of that?" he asks, incredulous, as two and two come together.
"what the hell, minho," kibum snaps, "it was partly your fault they even found out in the first place."
"what?" minho doesn't even give a fuck anymore about pretenses, because if it's his fault he needs to know how to stop it from happening back home. he can't save kibum here or in any of the places before, but he can damn well save his kibum. "what happened, kibum?" kibum's staring at him, flabbergasted, but minho ignores this and pins him against the wall, silently thankful for his height advantage. "tell me. what happened."
"what's going on, minho? you're acting like a lunatic." kibum pushes at his chest, and when he can't move him, he just keeps pushing, punching. "you know damn well what happened, it was you, it's always you," kibum shouts, "you just wouldn't listen to me when i tried to patch things up, and it was over the stupidest thing and you're so fucking stupid and dense, you know?" kibum sighs harshly, tipping his head back against the wall with a dull thunk. he's quieter now, like he's run out of steam. "i hate you. i fucking hate you, choi minho. i don't even know why i liked you, but i did, and you just. you wouldn't listen. so i had to make you listen."
minho can see it in his head-just as clearly as he can see the way kibum's adam's apple bobs as he calms his breathing-their argument, the tension afterward, jinki and jonghyun trying to make things better and failing. he can picture kibum finally giving up because he's tired of fighting, can see himself being a stubborn ass-god, how could he. "did you-what did you do?" he manages to choke out.
"kissed you, what else?" kibum murmurs, his tone dull, resigned. "manager-hyung saw it, and you all pleaded with him to just drop it, but no way was he going to do that." he waves a hand, glancing to the side. "and well, here we are."
minho backs away, heels of his hands over his eyes. "fuck."
"did you hit your head or something?" kibum says, glaring at him. "you're acting like you just forgot the past week completely, and you know, i think it was a little more traumatizing for me than you, i have to say."
minho shakes his head, laughing. "you have no idea what traumatizing is until you've-" he sighs, not willing to go that far. kibum's scowl deepens, but everything's starting to look bright again, colors smudging together. "look, talk to them. to minho. he'll... he's not as straight and narrow as you think." kibum's stunned face starts to blur out, so minho just grins at him. "i think he likes you, too."
5. minho's knows he's home before everything stops, and though it feels like it's been hours since he was last here, the clock he and jonghyun share is still showing the same time, and jonghyun's still buried beneath his blankets in the same position. he turns and heads for kibum's room, but he doesn't need to go in-the light's on in the kitchen and if anyone needs to be up in the kitchen at this time of night, it's kibum.
"hey," minho says, when he's confirmed he's right.
kibum lifts his head from his arms, a cup of water in front of them. "hey," he returns, warily.
"can we make up now?" minho says, cutting straight to the chase. "i don't like it when any of us fight, and i hate even more that it's us."
"'that it's us'?" kibum says, raising a brow. the action is so well-worn, familiar, it makes minho's breath catch slightly. "since when have we ever been close enough for an us?"
minho takes a leap of faith. "since you started seeing me as more than a group member or friend," he says, matching kibum's raised brow with one of his own.
kibum's lips tighten and he stands, clutching the glass of water tightly. "i don't know what you're talking about."
"don't," minho says, because there is no way in hell he's letting kibum get away with it now, not after everything he's seen. "it took me a while to get it, but i did and i'm not running away. i'm right here." kibum stares, a hint of that stunned look on his face, and damn if minho doesn't want to kiss it away. "you're really annoying sometimes, and you always try to distance yourself so you don't get hurt, and," he pauses, smiling a little because kibum's looking angry again, "you can come off kind of arrogant a lot of the time, but i've seen you be a big softie, too, and i know in your own weird way, you care for all of us, even if you don't admit it in interviews. and you'd die if you ever had to leave us." he sighs, closing the distance between them. "you're kim kibum, you like me. and i like you, too."
there's a long silence, kibum scowling up at him, looking like he's not sure if he wants to murder him, or, minho hopes, kiss him. "you're stupid, choi minho," he finally says, "you're so dense, you stupid person, i've liked you for a while now and you only notice after we have a huge fight? stupid, stupid, stu-" he doesn't get to finish, because minho, tired of waiting, kisses him instead.
"i still think you're both ridiculous," taemin wastes no time informing them.
minho/key
pg-13 for language
3,124w
warnings: implied character death
a/n: for pause ♥ this was originally for my five things meme below, but as you can see it kind of got away with me. i'm still trying to figure key out, so if there's anything at all off to you about my characterization, feel free to point it out. i'd love the advice ♥
also, b/c this started out as a comment fic, it's in lapslock. i was too lazy to go through and change everything once i realized it was getting out of hand.
it takes minho and kibum two years to have a full-blown argument. they get along alright, but sometimes kibum can take it too far. this time, minho just couldn't keep himself from taking it one step further. it's tense in the dorm afterward, like a dense fog you can cut with a knife. jinki tries and fails to get them to see eye to eye again, jonghyun and kibum have a small argument themselves over it, and taemin wisely keeps himself out of the way except to tell minho, "i think you're both being ridiculous, just so you know."
1. two days later, minho's about to slide under his blankets and hide from the world until morning when, as near as he can tell, there's a flash of something and he's not in his room anymore. he's not even sure he's in the dorm, and for a moment he wonders if someone slipped something into his drink during dinner, because he's never had a history of hallucinations before.
he pinches himself, just to be sure, and it hurts like a bitch. nothing happens, he's still standing in an apartment, the muffled sounds of city life and heavy rain filtering in through the window. warily, he takes a look outside, eyes widening when he realizes he isn't even in south korea anymore. there's too much english everywhere.
thoroughly baffled and a tiny bit terrified, minho jumps as a door closes, followed by a familiar voice talking in unmistakable english, but it's less halted than he remembers it being. he's got no time to hide himself, he's not even sure why he feels like he needs to, before kibum comes out of the hallway and stops right in front of him, shell-shocked. he murmurs a hasty goodbye and snaps his cell phone shut, expression fierce. he says something in harsh english, then repeats it in korean. "who the fuck are you and how did you get into my locked apartment?" he looks minho up and down, a hint of confusion on his face. "and why are you in pajamas?"
minho's at a complete loss on what to say to that. this is all either the worst dream he's ever had or something so fucked up he can't even begin to comprehend it. "it's me, minho," he says, feeling stupid even as he says it, because if kibum knew him, he wouldn't be asking him who he was.
"yeah, okay?" kibum says, flipping open his phone again. "i don't know a minho, i don't know you, and i'm calling the cops."
"wait, don't," minho says, holding his hands up. "look, i have no idea how i got here, okay? but i know you, and we debuted in a group together in south korea. we're in shinee. we live together." kibum's expression gets steadily more confused, horrified and disbelieving as minho continues talking, and after he talks about living together, kibum laughs, a derisive thing.
"you're insane, you know? i'm sorry, but you've got the wrong guy. i haven't called south korea home since i was young, and i'll be damned if i ever go back." he shakes his head, leaning against the wall. where there was confidence and haughtiness, now there is something broken that minho hopes to god he'll never see in his kibum. the thought startles him-not so much that he thought of kibum as his, but the fact that he's realized this is not... someone he knows. whatever's going on here (he's got an idea what it may be, but he's not sure he accepts it just yet), this is a kibum who's made different choices than the kibum he knows, and it's done something irreparable to him. "please leave," kibum says, so quiet minho almost doesn't catch it.
maybe that's the key (the pun is not lost on him), because there's another flashing shift, and kibum disappears in the blur.
2. the world rights itself after a moment and minho's surroundings are different again, still not home. he's surrounded by people, so many people running around that he's almost afraid he's still caught in the shift. they're all speaking so many languages it's hard to tell what is what, until he catches the tail-end of korean behind him, fading fast. he turns and follows the voice, pushing his way through the throng of bodies as best he can, hoping no one notices how out of place he looks in his sweats and tshirt. everyone seems to be over-dressed, and there are racks of clothes everywhere; this is familiar, the backstage of a fashion show.
he's only partly surprised to find the woman he's been following waiting patiently next to an older-looking kibum, who's snapping fingers and directing a small crowd of people with precise, clipped directions on where what goes, who's modeling this and where the hell is his coffee he ordered half an hour ago. "what is it?" he finally addresses the woman, glancing down at her clipboard. she leans in and minho misses whatever it is she whispers to him, but it's obviously not good news, if the way kibum's lips form a tight, thin line is anything to go by.
kibum looks around, his eyes glancing right over minho without a hint of recognition. lost in thought, minho doesn't catch the last of their conversation, barely registers kibum on the move again, calling out to his people. this is a kibum who never became a trainee, who went on to college and became a fashion designer. from the looks of it, he's done pretty well for himself. which means what he'd guessed at earlier, with the first kibum, was right.
he's been going to different-no, alternate-realities, where kibum's made a decision so drastic, it's changed his life as minho knows it. slightly stunned and not sure if he wants to commit himself to believing any of this, minho doesn't notice that he's caught kibum's attention until kibum's right in front of him, waving a hand in his face.
"hey, you. what the hell are you doing here? are you here to give me a message or something?" kibum's voice has an underlying tone of snootiness to it, and the way he's looking minho up and down sends a flare of indignation through him.
"no," he says, frowning. "i'm just... i'm just watching."
kibum narrows his eyes. "are you even supposed to be here? do you have a pass?" he pauses, looking thoughtful. "actually, you look really familiar, have i seen you before?"
"i've modeled," minho says before he can stop himself. although he can't imagine himself making any other career choice, he doesn't have a clue whether he even got the chance to model, here.
"wait, yeah," kibum says, snapping his fingers, his eyes wide in recognition. at the snap, three people from behind him look up, expectant, but when it's obvious he's not calling for them they go back to their work. "you're choi minho. that guy from shinee."
well, that answers that question. "yeah, that's me."
kibum's demeanor changes, now that he's talking to someone well-known. minho masks the annoyance still simmering beneath his skin. "right. but what are you doing in paris? i thought i remembered something about a comeback?" he frowns again. "and... you should be my age. at least."
"oh," minho says, searching for some excuse, because he's not exactly about to tell this kibum what he told the other one. "i had surgery."
"hm," kibum says, head tilted, looking skeptical. "well, i'm a bit busy, as you can see, so i'm going to have to cut this short." he gives a brilliant smile, one of those fake ones minho recognizes from days when the five of them are worn thin and fraying, stuck on a stage anyway. "enjoy the show, minho-sshi."
he hurries away, lost in a sea of color, and as it blurs out again, minho wonders if this kibum has ever smiled a real smile in his life.
3. this time, minho finds himself in a hospital. the walls are white, but dull, and the smell of rubber gloves and antiseptic is almost overwhelming. he turns, half-afraid of what he'll find, and when he sees kibum in the bed, wires poking into skin that's too pale to be healthy, minho thinks he'll be sick, himself. there are circles beneath kibum's eyes that minho's never seen, because kibum would never have stood for it, and his cheekbones are more pronounced-he looks skeletal, almost.
minho swallows hard and sinks into the chair that's pulled up next to the bed, shaking. "kibum," he murmurs, for lack of anything else to say.
he doesn't expect kibum's eyes to flutter open, or the vague frown that pulls at his eyebrows. "you're supposed to be back at the dorm," kibum says. his voice is dry, not like it is when he's dripping sarcasm with every word, but dry like paper crumbling to dust.
"i," minho says, his chest tight with too much feeling, "i guess i had to come back."
kibum rolls his eyes, something like a half-hearted snort escaping him. "i expected that out of jonghyun-hyung, but not you."
"i didn't expect this," minho finds himself saying, uncaring if kibum doesn't follow him or not. "you're dying, aren't you?"
kibum blinks at him, for once not a sign of anything written in his face. it's disconcerting. "they told you, then." he sighs, looking up at the ceiling. "i thought they'd wait a few days or so, see if i get better. everyone else has. i-" he pauses, closing his eyes briefly. "apparently, i have a mutated strain."
minho looks down, sucks in a long, slow breath.
"you should go. they don't know if it's still contagious or not, remember?" minho looks back up to see kibum watching him, that frown back, like he's trying to figure minho out but he doesn't know how to anymore. "i don't even know why you came back."
"i had to," minho says, reaching over to run fingers over kibum's wrist, tinier than he remembers. "i think i needed to."
kibum makes another odd noise, his eyes brighter than normal. "shut up. you don't need to see me like this. i'm pathetic right now. i look horrible and i'm dying." he inhales sharply, avoiding minho's gaze. "i'm scared."
minho laces his fingers through kibum's, squeezing tightly. "i think it's probably okay to be scared, in this situation," he murmurs. after a moment, he adds, "i wish i could stay." it's half the truth. there's a huge knot in his stomach and he still feels like he's going to be sick because this isn't how it went, this isn't how it's supposed to be.
"i'm glad you aren't," kibum says, catching minho's gaze again. "i'm selfish, minho. i don't want anyone to see me like this, it's not how i want to be remembered."
"i won't tell anyone," minho says, standing. his hand's still in kibum's and he won't let go until he has to leave. "i promise."
"thank you," kibum says, breathing in deep. he starts coughing midway, his grip on minho's hand tensing. the machines all around him start beeping, minho's heart is pounding its way out of his chest and everything's blurring away. the painful squeeze of kibum's hand fades.
4. minho's still shaking when he realizes he's at a standstill again, his hand clenched against echoes of pain. it takes him a moment to open his eyes and glance around, to still his frantic heart and calm his breathing. he's in an apartment, a small one that's only been recently occupied. there's still boxes all over the floor, and not much furniture. it looks lonely.
"minho?"
minho whirls, coming face to face with a very much alive kibum. he's got more boxes in his hands, the one at the very top threatening to fall off. minho reaches for it before it can. "hi," he says, unable to come up with anything more eloquent than that. there's a flash of kibum, a ghost of his former self in a hospital bed, that's refusing to disappear.
kibum sets the boxes down next to the main pile, eyeing minho as if he's some weird creature that just stepped out of the lagoon. "what are you doing here?"
minho replaces his box with its mates, shrugging. "should i not be here?" he asks, playing it safe for now.
kibum leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "you tell me. i was under the impression you never wanted to see me again." minho frowns, not sure how to respond. kibum keeps going, in his silence. "look, i'm sorry you had to find out that way and i'm sorry that all of this happened, but i'm not going to apologize for being who i am." he looks down, shaking his head, and laughs that soft, bitter laugh again. "i'm not hiding anymore. i'm gay, and the world will just have to fucking accept it."
minho releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. "you mean, you left shinee because of that?" he asks, incredulous, as two and two come together.
"what the hell, minho," kibum snaps, "it was partly your fault they even found out in the first place."
"what?" minho doesn't even give a fuck anymore about pretenses, because if it's his fault he needs to know how to stop it from happening back home. he can't save kibum here or in any of the places before, but he can damn well save his kibum. "what happened, kibum?" kibum's staring at him, flabbergasted, but minho ignores this and pins him against the wall, silently thankful for his height advantage. "tell me. what happened."
"what's going on, minho? you're acting like a lunatic." kibum pushes at his chest, and when he can't move him, he just keeps pushing, punching. "you know damn well what happened, it was you, it's always you," kibum shouts, "you just wouldn't listen to me when i tried to patch things up, and it was over the stupidest thing and you're so fucking stupid and dense, you know?" kibum sighs harshly, tipping his head back against the wall with a dull thunk. he's quieter now, like he's run out of steam. "i hate you. i fucking hate you, choi minho. i don't even know why i liked you, but i did, and you just. you wouldn't listen. so i had to make you listen."
minho can see it in his head-just as clearly as he can see the way kibum's adam's apple bobs as he calms his breathing-their argument, the tension afterward, jinki and jonghyun trying to make things better and failing. he can picture kibum finally giving up because he's tired of fighting, can see himself being a stubborn ass-god, how could he. "did you-what did you do?" he manages to choke out.
"kissed you, what else?" kibum murmurs, his tone dull, resigned. "manager-hyung saw it, and you all pleaded with him to just drop it, but no way was he going to do that." he waves a hand, glancing to the side. "and well, here we are."
minho backs away, heels of his hands over his eyes. "fuck."
"did you hit your head or something?" kibum says, glaring at him. "you're acting like you just forgot the past week completely, and you know, i think it was a little more traumatizing for me than you, i have to say."
minho shakes his head, laughing. "you have no idea what traumatizing is until you've-" he sighs, not willing to go that far. kibum's scowl deepens, but everything's starting to look bright again, colors smudging together. "look, talk to them. to minho. he'll... he's not as straight and narrow as you think." kibum's stunned face starts to blur out, so minho just grins at him. "i think he likes you, too."
5. minho's knows he's home before everything stops, and though it feels like it's been hours since he was last here, the clock he and jonghyun share is still showing the same time, and jonghyun's still buried beneath his blankets in the same position. he turns and heads for kibum's room, but he doesn't need to go in-the light's on in the kitchen and if anyone needs to be up in the kitchen at this time of night, it's kibum.
"hey," minho says, when he's confirmed he's right.
kibum lifts his head from his arms, a cup of water in front of them. "hey," he returns, warily.
"can we make up now?" minho says, cutting straight to the chase. "i don't like it when any of us fight, and i hate even more that it's us."
"'that it's us'?" kibum says, raising a brow. the action is so well-worn, familiar, it makes minho's breath catch slightly. "since when have we ever been close enough for an us?"
minho takes a leap of faith. "since you started seeing me as more than a group member or friend," he says, matching kibum's raised brow with one of his own.
kibum's lips tighten and he stands, clutching the glass of water tightly. "i don't know what you're talking about."
"don't," minho says, because there is no way in hell he's letting kibum get away with it now, not after everything he's seen. "it took me a while to get it, but i did and i'm not running away. i'm right here." kibum stares, a hint of that stunned look on his face, and damn if minho doesn't want to kiss it away. "you're really annoying sometimes, and you always try to distance yourself so you don't get hurt, and," he pauses, smiling a little because kibum's looking angry again, "you can come off kind of arrogant a lot of the time, but i've seen you be a big softie, too, and i know in your own weird way, you care for all of us, even if you don't admit it in interviews. and you'd die if you ever had to leave us." he sighs, closing the distance between them. "you're kim kibum, you like me. and i like you, too."
there's a long silence, kibum scowling up at him, looking like he's not sure if he wants to murder him, or, minho hopes, kiss him. "you're stupid, choi minho," he finally says, "you're so dense, you stupid person, i've liked you for a while now and you only notice after we have a huge fight? stupid, stupid, stu-" he doesn't get to finish, because minho, tired of waiting, kisses him instead.
"i still think you're both ridiculous," taemin wastes no time informing them.